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“Oh, for crying out loud,” he muttered, and walked back into his shack and punched the button that operated the gate. It noiselessly swung open on its hinges. The paps all moved forward like a pack of rabid dogs, so he walked back out, his hand on his truncheon, and gave them his best menacing glare. “Back off!” he yelled. “Back off, you bunch of frickin’ vultures!”

He shouldn’t have bothered. The little old lady had gotten back in her car, stomped on the gas, and the car practically ran over the paps, then zoomed up the drive, pelting them all with gravel, and almost hitting a small stone statue dedicated to one of Emerald’s dogs that had passed away.

“Chief’s mother, my foot,” Franklin muttered, and punched the button again to close the gate. This time he hoped a pap would be dumb enough to get his head stuck between it, or his butt up on the spikes, but no such luck. Instead they all stayed on their side of the gate and so the long day wore on.

Chapter 21

Chase stuck his head in the door and announced,“Your cats are here.”

“What?” said Odelia, getting up.

“And your grandmother.”

“Wait, what?” she said, hurrying to the door.

Chase led her out into the hallway, where they arrived just in time to see Marge’s old Peugeot drive up and disgorge one little old lady and four cats.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” said Odelia in a low voice.

“Hey, I didn’t invite them, and neither did your uncle, which means you did, right?”

They shared a look, and Chase’s face took on a grim expression. “She invited herself.”

“Of course she did.”

“Only your grandmother would invite herself and four cats to the house of the greatest living acting legend and think she can get away with it.”

Behind them, Emerald had materialized.“Who is that woman?” she asked now. “And are those… cats?!”

“That’s my grandmother,” Odelia announced blithely, “and she’s brought my cats.”

Emerald looked stricken, but not furious. Still under the impact of the recent tragedy that had befallen her.“You know I’m allergic to cats, right? I strictly told you over the phone not to bring cats into my home.”

“I know,” said Odelia. “But my grandmother has a way of inserting herself into places without asking for permission first.”

“And I can see why. It’s very hard for any homeowner to throw a little old lady out on the street.”

“So she can stay?”

“I don’t know,” said Emerald, shaking her head. “My allergies…”

“Oh, but I’ll keep the cats far away from you,” said Odelia, even though she didn’t believe for one second that Emerald was actually allergic to cats.

“They’re not very allergy-inducing,” Chase said helpfully.

Emerald stared at him for a moment, then said sweetly,“For a cop you’re not very bright, are you, Mr. Kingsley?”

It was probably the first time Chase had ever been called stupid, but he took it well.“I’m sorry, ma’am. It’s just that—”

“All right,” said Emerald, throwing up her hands. “I guess if I’m going to put with a horde of cops in my house, I might as well accept their cats along with them. Though I always had the impression cops favored dogs. But then what do I know?” And she stalked off, only to be replaced by her husband, who looked even more nervous than usual.

“About those cats…” he said.

“It’s fine, Pete,” said Emerald, walking away. “I dealt with it.”

“But you’re allergic to cats, my pet,” said Pete.

“I’ve dealt with it—now you deal with it!” she shouted, and husband and wife returned to the library, slamming the door as they did.

Odelia watched on as her grandmother returned to the car, started the engine and parked it a few inches more to the right, almost clipping a nice marble statue of a dog with the rear fender. She got out and trudged up the steps.

Odelia met her halfway.“Gran! Didn’t I tell you not to come?!”

“Now is that the way to greet your beloved grandmother?” She looked around the marble entrance hall. “So this is how the other half lives, huh? Oh, hi, Chase. Didn’t know you were here, too.”

“I’m Odelia’s plus-one,” said Chase.

“Of course you are. There was a time I was her plus-one, but you managed to usurp me. Not that I blame her. If I had to choose between a hot young stud and a feeble old lady with one foot in the grave I wouldn’t hesitate.”

“Oh, hey, you guys,” said Odelia, crouching down and greeting her cats.

“We finally made it,” said Max, looking shaken. “For a moment there I thought we’d all end up in a ditch.” He leaned closer and dropped his voice to a whisper. “Your grandmother can’t drive.”

“I heard that!” said Gran who, in spite of her status as a feeble old lady with one foot in the grave, had remarkable eyesight and hearing.

“What did you hear?” asked Chase, who’d heard nothing.

“Nothing,” said Gran, then handed Chase a bulky suitcase. “Bring this up to my room, will you? Make yourself useful for a change.”

Chase stared bemusedly at the suitcase, then said,“Yes, ma’am,” and was off in the direction of the staircase.

“So where’s the dead broad?” asked Gran.

“Upstairs—don’t tell me you’re here to investigate the suicide,” said Odelia.