44 Charles Street

“I came up to talk to you because I don’t know how long Ian will be with me. She’s supposed to go to rehab when she gets out of the hospital. If she’s willing. She says she is now, but she could change her mind when she gets there. Ian won’t go back to live with her unless she’s drug-tested and clean. She could get her shit together in a month, or two or three. Or she could kill herself with it one of these days. I told you Ian would only be here two weekends a month, but that’s not going to be the case right now for a while. I wanted to ask you if you want me to move out. You weren’t expecting to have a child here full time, so I’ll look for an apartment for me and Ian, if you prefer. I didn’t think I needed an apartment when I moved in here, but apparently I do right now. It’s up to you, Francesca, and I understand perfectly if you don’t want us here. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll take care of it as fast as I can.” He looked utterly washed out as he volunteered to move, and she looked at him in horror.

“Are you kidding? Do you think I would ask you to leave with all of that going on and happening to Ian? He’s welcome to stay here, and so are you. I wouldn’t think of asking you to move out, and I don’t want you to. We love Ian, and I’d like to be there for him too. This has to be a really hard time for him, and for you both. I’m sorry you have to go through it.” She was truly sorry for him.

“So am I,” he said, with the vision of his child covered in blood when he picked him up at the hospital the night before. “No kid should have to live with this. If she had half a heart, or a brain, she’d give up custody, but she won’t do that. She’s afraid of how it will look to her parents, and they’ll stop giving her money, so she hangs on to him. She can’t take care of him. But they don’t want her to give him up, which stinks. I have to go to a temporary custody hearing tomorrow. They’ll give him to me now, but as soon as she’s back on her feet and can bullshit a judge and look halfway clean, they’ll give Ian to her for our custody arrangement. It makes me sick to send him back. This is the third time this has happened, and they keep giving him to her when she looks okay. Her father is a very powerful man. That holds a lot of sway with the judge.”

“What does Ian want?” Francesca asked him softly.

“He’s afraid that if he’s not there to save her, she’ll die. This is the second time he has. But one of these days it won’t work, and she’ll die right in front of him with a needle sticking out of her arm.” There were tears rolling down his cheeks as he said it, and Francesca got off her bed and gave him a hug.

“Do you want me to go to the hearing with you tomorrow? No one should have to go through that alone.” He shook his head.

“I’ve been there before. And thank you, but I wouldn’t do that to you. This is my problem, not yours. But thanks for offering and being a good friend. At least the judge said Ian doesn’t have to be there. This should be pretty quick, and it’s only temporary custody till she gets out of rehab. Her lawyer can’t say much after everything that happened last night.” It was agony for him and Ian, and Francesca could see it in his eyes. She understood now why he spent his time alone. He was obviously still traumatized by everything he’d lived through with his ex-wife. He said all he wanted now was to be with Ian and enjoy a peaceful life. He had lived through hell when he was with her, and Ian still was. But Chris knew that if he tried to take him away from her permanently, the child would blame himself forever for not being there for her. It was a nightmare for him. Ian had become the caretaker, and his mother the child.

They talked for a few more minutes, and Francesca reassured him again about not moving out. He was very grateful, and then went back to his room to be with Ian. They had hardly slept the night before, and Ian had terrible nightmares that night. She could hear him screaming through the floor of her room, and the deep rumble of Chris’s soothing voice. She felt desperately sorry for them both.