Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine. Vol. 38, No. 13, Mid-December 1993

“Only on paper. Seems Archer, through some very convoluted corporate footwork, owned Arny & Taub. The insurance settlement would have gone to the brokerage. His son, who wasn’t quite the spineless fool his father thought, was to pay off the debt, in essence pocketing the money, then join his father in Mexico City.”

Sarah pursed her lips. “That doesn’t explain why Trent came unglued.”

Sourness tinged McLean’s laugh. “His father suckered him into the trades in the first place. Trent really did think he was going to hit it big. Rex Archer played his son like a fiddle all of his life, and the strings finally broke.”

Outrage at the Short Mystery Club

by Marty Cann

The catchphrase was, “The solution must be given in exactly one word.” Naturally, each member of the Short Mystery Club was furious.

“Impossible!” Wayken cried.

“Deuced difficult,” Chaplain grumbled.

Deducto snarled, “What a crazy idea.”

“I agree,” soothed Dupin, “but those are his terms. Interesting, don’t you think?”

Actually, it started with a small classified ad:

If you are over 6'2" and able to present a unique puzzle or mystery to a company of intelligent amateur sleuths, you will be rewarded with an opportunity to match wits with this elite group. Contact us at the box number below.

As intrigued by the height qualification as I was by the challenge, I wasted no time in responding.

Evidently, answers to the advertisement were scarce; in three days I received a brief note requesting that I appear at the address shown on the letterhead for a preliminary interview.

I must confess that I was slightly amused when my interviewer appeared. She was about five feet tall, perhaps a shade under; exquisite as she was tiny. Her name was Dupin, and she did not seem at all uncomfortable about our sixteen inch height differential.

She had only one question. “Why do you think your mystery is so singular that we will have trouble solving it?”

My answer was just as direct. “Because, Ms. Dupin, your solution must be stated in exactly one word.”

Dupin seemed startled for a moment but regained her composure quickly. “Fair enough! Please come back to this house in four days. You will be guest of honor at the next meeting of the Short Mystery Club.”

Only later did I learn the dual nature of the club’s name: each mystery was required to be brief in its telling; each member could be no taller than five feet one inch. It was their mission in life to prove that a person’s size was no measure of his intelligence. This was a point I have never disputed.

With great anticipation, I appeared as invited. The Short Mystery Club had no president or chairman, no by-laws and no rules of order. Quite simply, the guest stated his mystery or puzzle; the members asked pertinent questions. Each, obviously, was eager to cut the hulking guest down to size by finding the solution as quickly as possible.

I was introduced to each member. They all lived in Hamm, a quaint London suburb located on the River Wry. Charles “Charley” Chaplain, burly, broken-nosed, and hoarse-voiced, was the chief constable of Hamm and, curiously enough, a retired curate; Burt Wayken, CEO of Wayken Security (“We Never Rest”), in direct contradiction to his name was sleepy-eyed, a bit slovenly, and very slow of speech; Dora Dupin, great-great-granddaughter of a renowned French sleuth, was not only a joy to behold but had a wit and intellect that was surely the equal of her famous ancestor; Dr. Deducto (real name unknown) was an ex-music hall entertainer whose mindreading act was the sensation of the telly in the late sixties. His remaining claim to fame was a distinct resemblance to the distinguished but sinister American movie star, Vincent Price.

They were seated on a high dais, and I, of course, was positioned at floor level. I wasted no time in challenging my formidable group of inquisitors.

“I shall give you all a sequence of circumstances, each word of which is pertinent. In exactly one word you must give me a logical reason for these events. You all may ask any question you desire; my answers will be ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ or ‘irrelevant.’ From time to time I may choose to explain my answer. I shall not try to trick you in any way. Are we agreed?”

With varying degrees of truculence they all concurred, and I presented my facts.