Anniversarian. A play for 2 people. Comedy

Philemon. That's the news! My ex — wife-damn her, along with her unfinished Bone. Everything is always wrong with her, thank God. In marriage, she ruffled my nerves, so then again and after … (Mimics) Philemon, happy holidays to you, please forgive me, fi-fi-fi, tut-tut-tut… Ugh! I won't forgive you! She's the one who looks so sweet, so innocent of anything, but in life she's still an infection! Well, let her fly with her beautiful new hubby, a fair wind, a flag in her hands… And somewhere else. But the fact that I won't see the children is really upsetting. We don't see them very often anyway. They are conditionally adults. Under thirty for both son and daughter. They don't always have time for the folder. Relationships, work, friends… We call each other, on my initiative, mainly. But so that we can see each other once again… They don't come to me for no reason, even though I call them all the time, but how am I going to see them now? If only my ex lived with them, it would be another matter. As it is, I'm not there at all. I stopped by on business once, so I felt with my whole skin that I was superfluous there. This Kostya keeps quiet, but his gaze is unkind. And this one is also like between two fires. It was awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. I haven't been to them since.

I thought I'd finally see the kids. While we're talking, maybe I'll scout something out. It's interesting, though, how they live. And the way you don't ask on the phone is the standard answer: Nothing, Dad, everything is fine, everything is as usual.

A message sound is heard. Filimon picks up his smartphone, presses "listen".

A voice message. Hey, bro! Happy holidays! Health, money, good luck and inspiration! This is the case, I have an emergency at the factory. They pulled it urgently. It doesn't happen often, but no, no, yes and yes. I'm already going to. Apparently for a long time. Dasha doesn't want to go without me, especially since both of her daughters are kind of quaint. They cough and sniffle. The infection is walking around the city, now everyone is sick. Suddenly what? Imagine infecting you on your bright holiday? Yes, it will not be possible to beg for it later. Somehow, everything piled up from all sides at once. Let me give you a light as soon as I'm free. Tomorrow evening, I'll probably stop by with Dashka, and let the snotty children stay at home, there's nothing for them to spread the infection. That's it, I'm sorry, I have to run. See you later!

Philemon. And my brother is there too! What kind of day is this? It all started out fine! There should be a holiday! Joy! Family and friends. Gatherings, conversations. Jokes are jokes. My brother is generally the soul of the company by himself, you can't tan with him. Now he has also lost the main mass entertainer.

Yeah… Everything didn't go according to plan. What can you do — life! The emergency is not a joke. Let them solve problems, fix problems. His job is responsible, his position is high. If it is necessary, then it is necessary.

It turns out that my family will not be at the table. But stop though! Why won't it be? The nephew is a cousin! Yes, he also asked for his new girlfriend, I don't remember her name, he changes them like gloves. I don't really like this idea of his coming to my party with another lady of his heart, but it's inconvenient to refuse. Okay, really… At least he will be from his family, otherwise it doesn't work out well at all.

A message sound is heard. Filimon picks up the smartphone again, presses "listen".

Voice message (in a sleepy voice). Uncle Philemon, hello. I went out with mine a little bit yesterday. We returned home late. To be more precise, it's too early. My eyes are barely open now. We need to wake up somehow, cheer up, understand what's what, where and… and… this… Yes. What did you want to say? You're sitting down without us. Don't wait. We'll swing until we get to you from the other side of the city. Start without us, we'll catch up. We will accept the penalty for being late (yawns) No talking! Even better, two! But no, wait, mine says something… huh? Yeah. Clear. Look, we'll overplay it a little. My bunny urgently needs to hand over a USB flash drive with a diploma, she is my student. Fussing, the last course. Look, now she's running to a meeting, solving her business, and then straight to you, I'll tell her the address. In the meantime, I'll swing, and I'll jump up about there by the time. I'll meet you at your place. We won't miss each other. Just later.

Philemon. That's an asshole Earring! I knew that I was going to my uncle's birthday at four o'clock! Then why the hell are you wandering around at night? You have to count on it somehow! Youth is careless, he was like that himself. Eh… Where are my seventeen years…

Everything is clear. Later means later. Well, at least I have friends, otherwise I would celebrate the anniversary alone.

A message sound is heard. Philemon clicks "listen".