Black Chalk

Chad was scratching the back of his head. ‘Jack,’ he said, ‘if it wasn’t your idea then who else said it first?’

‘Whoa whoa whoa,’ said Jack, ‘it was literally my idea. But that doesn’t make it actually my idea. If I said it then it was way before I had any clue about Emilia’s dad.’

‘Oh, then never mind, Jack. So you just went long for the ride, did you? Hah-de-hah, there’s no way she’ll do that, not in a million years, so she’ll lose her thousand pounds and we’ll all have a good chuckle about it in the bar later on. Or maybe you thought I’d be forced to do it, poor little miner’s daughter can’t afford to throw away that sort of cash. So which one of you was going to phone up my dad, “Hello, your daughter’s a bit shy about it and she won’t tell you herself, but she’s giving this speech and I think she’d really love you to be there”? Pathetic, the lot of you. You know, Jolyon, you’re not the only one of us who’s allowed to have principles. And I will never, ever show any disloyalty to the memory of what my dad went through, you understand? So this is all just a game, is it? Irony trumps love or values or loyalty every time. Just a game, a bit of a laugh to pass the time. Well, that means everything’s all right then.’ Emilia looked around. Only Chad looked back at her, at least you could say that much for Chad. ‘I’ve had enough of you all. It’s like we’re not even friends any more because of this game. Why would I want anything to do with something like that? The only losers in this stupid game are the ones still playing.’

They sat on the blanket feeling sick. Sick and ashamed.

But Jolyon decided that someone had to speak. ‘What do you want us to do, Emilia?’

‘Take it out,’ she said. ‘And I want us all to promise we’ll never put anything in as bad as that one. Not for anyone.’

Jolyon shifted uncomfortably. ‘That does sort of miss the point of the Game, Emilia. Look, Chad’s only here for a year. We have to finish at some point.’

‘Then let’s all just stop it right now. Why shouldn’t we? We can all agree it ends now before someone gets hurt. Come on, who’s with me?’ The others swallowed and looked down at the blanket.

‘Look, Emilia,’ said Jolyon, ‘you never really had the stomach for this game. You found out something you shouldn’t and maybe it’s for the best. You don’t owe the Game anything. Maybe you just pull out and we give you your money back. You walk away with your thousand pounds, no damage done, and everyone’s happy.’

‘Right, I see,’ said Emilia, ‘and that’s how you all feel, is it?’

No one said anything.

‘OK then,’ said Emilia, and then the anger seemed to drop away and was replaced by efficiency. She picked up her rucksack and slowly threaded her arms through its loops, each motion very deliberate. And then she began to walk across the grass, heading straight for the gate. There was no urgency to her step, perhaps she thought someone would follow. Very soon they all could see that her shoulders were shaking, shuddering to the rhythm of her tears.

‘Do you think I should go after her?’ said Jolyon, turning to Dee.

‘You should wait till tomorrow.’

While Chad sat down, Jolyon picked up the bottle and poured him some wine. And then they all sipped their drinks, staring off into the lake. There was the sound of birdsong and the water gulping with the splashing of frogs. ‘Who came up with that consequence anyway?’ said Jolyon. ‘I remember us talking about Jack’s idea for Game Soc and what a huge coincidence that Emilia’s father was a miner. How did we get from there to . . . ? Chad, wasn’t it you?’

‘It might have been,’ said Chad. ‘Honestly, I don’t remember.’

XLVI(v) The sound, a harsh and sharp squealing, was so loud that Jack moved his hands to his head as if something were screaming down at them from the sky. Dee covered her ears. The noise lasted a few seconds and then came a crashing sound and a rumbling like rocks falling from a cliff.

‘Jeez, what the hell was that?’ said Chad.

Jolyon had already jumped to his feet. ‘Brakes,’ he shouted.

And then they were all on their feet, running, and Jolyon in front.

They ran across the grass and out through the gate. They ran up the lane. Some people had come out of their houses.

Jolyon was the fastest, he reached the end of the lane first and saw the jackknifed truck, its nose thrust into the front of a small stone cottage. The truck’s trailer was blocking off most of the road. He kept running. First he saw the bike. And then further along the truck driver bending over her. She was lying in the road, her silk scarf fluttering in the breeze but her body motionless. He called out her name. Emilia. Emilia. He called it out again and again and again.

XLVII