Blood-drenched Beard

• • •

He spends his entire afternoon shift at the pool thinking about what he is going to say to Saucepan, and when it is time, he just says that he wants to leave the job, if possible only for a while. Saucepan can’t accept it.

Do you want a raise?

That’s not why.

Why, then?

I need a bit of time.

When do you want to leave?

Now.

You know that’s not how it works. I need a month’s notice.

A bald guy with a hugely muscular upper body and skinny legs lets out animallike grunts as he completes his last few reps in a set of lateral raises, dumps the dumbbells onto the wooden floor, and paces in circles around the weights room next to reception, panting as he goes. Débora rolls her eyes and goes back to the game she is playing on her cell phone.

A month is too long for me.

I need at least two weeks to find someone else.

I’ll stay another two weeks, then.

Okay, but talk to me. What would make you stay?

Nothing, Saucepan. Sorry. But I might be back in a while.

I can’t guarantee that you’ll have your job back.

I know. When it’s time, we’ll see. Thanks for the opportunity to work here. It’s been really important to me.

You’ll be missed, man.

Saucepan shrugs and leaves. Débora was listening to everything, and now looks at him with her lips pressed together and raised eyebrows.

I hope you have a good reason.

Me too.

Aren’t you ever going to shave off that beard? You’d look a lot better without it.

You think so?

Not just me.

I’ll give it some thought, then.

Are you okay?

In what sense?

You’ve been looking a bit down in the dumps lately. I’ve seen the winter here do a lot of people in.

It’s like a summer’s day today.

You know what I’m talking about. A guy finds himself on his own without his girl in the cold weather, quits his job, stops going out, no one sees him anymore. I don’t want you to… I dunno.

It’s not like that, Deb. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.

If you need anything, talk to me. Okay? Anything.

He nods.

Take care, Mystery Face.

I bet the twins invented that one too.

Of course.

I haven’t left yet, Débora. I’ve still got two more weeks. See you tomorrow.

He hesitates a little before leaving and walks around the counter. Débora stands before he gets there, and they hug at length without saying anything. Beta walks past the glass door.

Your dog pulled through, didn’t she?

She’s great. I walked here today, slowly, and she came with me.

I heard she swims out in the deep with you.

She swims a little, yes, but not out in the deep. People exaggerate.

He tells Débora about his early-morning encounter with the whale, and she doesn’t seem particularly impressed. She touched a whale while surfing at Ferrugem Beach four winters ago and has seen dolphins leap out of the water right before her eyes as they chased a school of mullet. He gives up and says good-bye.

He buys a cheese sandwich from an itinerant vendor in the Silveira Supermarket parking lot, eats it sitting on the low wall next to the sidewalk, and by the time he starts to head home, night has fallen. The Al Capone is open as always, and he has a beer sitting at an outdoor table. Janis Joplin is playing softly in the background, and he remembers a cassette-tape compilation that he used to listen to on his Walkman on the bus to school. The Rastafarian waiter strokes Beta’s neck and looks both ways down the avenue as if something might happen. There is a couple inside, and two men at a table outside near his. They all know that this winter night is already over, and they’ll soon leave. No stranger will talk to him. No one has talked to him lately. He eats the salted peanuts, finishes his beer off quickly, and pays the bill.