Blood-drenched Beard

* Yeah, he taught here until six weeks ago. He started in 2004 and was here for almost three years…. No, he’s very professional, you can be sure of that. Keeps to himself. But very professional. Does he want to teach there? But what’s he doing in Garopaba?… He told me he was leaving Porto Alegre, but he didn’t say where he was going. He gave me a month’s notice. His dad killed himself at the beginning of the year…. Pretty heavy shit. But tell me, what’s your new pool like?… Fuckin’ amazing? Have you bought lane lines yet? Milton’s got a supplier in Florianópolis. He called me here once, said his price is good. I’ll e-mail you the guy’s contact details afterward…. You’ve got to get word out there, otherwise people won’t come. Maybe you could have unstructured morning sessions for people who want to do longer swims. Think of something to get the athletes in…. Yep, to make money, you’ve got to offer lessons at set times. Have they asked you to heat the water?…Eighty degrees? Hahaha. You’re crazy, man. They’re going to ask you to heat it every day. You’ll have to raise the temperature…. Doesn’t make any difference, you’ll have to bump it up. First it’ll be an old guy who won’t get in the water, then a mother who doesn’t want her kid to get cold, then everyone’ll be wanting warm water. People want warm water. I keep it at eighty-six, but I tell people it’s eighty-two…. Look, like I said, he’s very professional. He knows a lot. He was the one who coached Pérsio in 2007, when he won practically everything. And he’s a good athlete too. He did the Ironman in Hawaii. He did well in the qualifier but didn’t do a good time in the event itself. He had some kind of meltdown halfway through. You know, the kind of guy who doesn’t have much of a competitive spirit? He does better times in training than in competition. But he’s an awesome swimmer. Best style I’ve ever seen…. He keeps to himself. I had a problem with him once, but I ended up keeping him because the students asked me to. We were changing our approach to lessons to make them more fun. We started implementing games and music and stuff. It’s where things are going nowadays. And there was this whole recycling process for the instructors to make the lessons more interesting. Today they’re all on friendlier terms with the students. We encouraged it. We paid for them all to do a course in playful sports instruction, which is our approach here. It’s important in keeping enrollments up and really boosted our number of students. Music pumping, rankings, everything turns into a game. But at the time I had a problem with him ’cause he refused to take the course. He told me to my face that he thought it was bullshit. And that put me in a difficult spot ’cause I couldn’t make an exception just for him. I ended up confronting him, and he told me he was a swimming instructor, not a clown. Things got heated, and I had to fire him…. But less than a week later students started coming to management asking about him, asking for him to come back. I made up an excuse, ’cause at that stage it didn’t really matter, but the next month we found out that four or five students had left because of him…. They wanted lessons with him and no one else. And then the whole story got out, and lots of people took his side. We discovered they absolutely loved him, but no one here in management had any idea ’cause you’d see the guy teaching and he was always kind of scowling, correcting everyone all the time. He’s a bit harsh…. Yeah, it was funny. Watching him from a distance, it looked like he never talked to anyone, that he was just there to do his job. I thought everyone hated the guy. Then a student of ours came along, Tatanka — You know Tatanka? True, he surfs, he’s always around, true. So anyway, Tatanka told me that thanks to him, he discovered that he swam all wrong. He’d been here for years, and no instructor had ever corrected him properly, then he showed up and gave him two months of technique, and Tatanka’s times dropped way down, and he made it to the podium in the Torres Swim. There were also some girls who told Maíra, another instructor of ours, that they only swam at our gym because of him. They liked his presence…. That’s what they said. They liked his presence. Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean…. He broke up with a girl about two years ago. I think he’s more of a doer than a talker…. Right. Something like that…. Anyway, the upshot is that I went and asked him to come back. He did, there were no hard feelings, he stayed another two years, until the month before last. We make fun of him because he doesn’t remember people’s faces. Did he tell you that?… Ask him, it’s no bullshit, he’s got a really rare memory problem. I think it has something to do with the way he comes across…. You’ll have to see if he fits the profile of what you’re looking for. People here really liked him. I’m the one who didn’t really get along with him… he doesn’t open up much. I don’t really hit it off with people like that. But here’s the thing, Saucepan. The guy’s good. Always up to date. A fucking good instructor, seriously. You can count on it. And don’t forget: warm water and music pumping.