Blood Memories

I went up the steps to Maggie's front door and walked in to find Wade and Philip sitting on the living room floor by the fire facing each other in telepathic connection.

Lost in my own private dilemma these past few nights, I may have been blind to their growing relationship. Originally, simple tolerance would have pleased me. But thinking about it, they had both been starved for companionship, for long talks with friends who actually listened. Attaching themselves to me had probably been easier for them at first. But my distance lately might have driven them closer to each other, both surprised to find a willing ear or mind.

I was well aware that before anything else, the three of us had to make some decisions about the future. We could not put it off any longer.

I walked over and sat on the carpet beside them. Warmth from the fire soaked into my skin. I reached out and touched Wade's hand with the tips of my fingers.

"Wade?"

He instantly dropped mental communication and looked at me. This too was becoming easier for them, to slip in and out of psychic contact without losing themselves in the memories.

"Yes?" he asked.

Philip turned his head and frowned when he saw my white dress. "Have you been hunting without me?"

Wade's narrow expression grew expectant, even impatient, as if he preferred to go on practicing mental interaction with Philip… or maybe he just didn't want to talk yet.

"What is it?" he asked.

They both sat there, looking at me, but now that I had their attention, my courage began to fail. Open confrontation was not one of my strengths.

But I couldn't walk away.

"What… what do you plan to do now?"

He blinked and shook his head in puzzlement, but his brown eyes were anxious, even frightened.

"I mean tomorrow," I rushed on, "and the tomorrow after that? Do you just go on like this… your job lost, your degree wasted, sitting around in this house we haven't actually moved into?"

Philip flinched. He looked away, into the flames.

"Eleisha, don't," he said.

I ignored him, and kept talking to Wade. "You buried your best friend, and you didn't even report him missing. Or have you forgotten?"

"No, I haven't forgotten," he whispered.

"Maybe you want to become one of us? Forget the past and get lost in a safe little world feeding off the living? Is that what you want?" I held out my thin, white arm. "Like this forever?"

He turned away. "No, not that, but-"

"I don't want him to go away," Philip broke in. "Leisha, don't make him go away."

"Should he stay here in some shadowed half-life with us?"

He flattened his hands on the floor, and his eyes narrowed. "If you try to make him leave, I'll turn him."

"That worked well with Maggie, didn't it?" I said harshly.

They both stared at me, and I could feel the tension building.

"There's nothing left for me to go home to!" Wade suddenly shouted. "Can't you see that?"

"I don't want you to go home!" I shouted back. "I just want you to live! Get a job here. Get an apartment. Make some friends. Use your gift… like with that child in Kirkland. You can be a part of us and live with your own kind, too." I paused and lowered my voice, moving closer to him. "That's what you really want anyway. Otherwise you would have bought more clothes… maybe a bed for your room here."

He froze, just sitting there for a moment, and then dropped his head. I'm not certain, but he may have been silently crying. I knew he was torn between our world and his own. He'd be wasted as one of us, and miserable, probably jumping to his own death before the century turned.

"It's all right," I whispered. "As long we all keep trying to move forward, we'll be okay."

Philip's panicked eyes clicked back and forth between us.

"Can you lend me some money to get started?" Wade whispered. "I don't think I have enough left in savings."

"Anything you want," I answered.

Maybe he really would be okay.

Philip kept his hands flattened on the floor. "I don't understand… Is he leaving?"

I turned my attention from Wade and looked at Philip. His red-brown hair hung forward over his shoulders.

"Yes, but not far," I said.

"What about us?" he asked, almost like a child. "What do we do?"

I didn't know how to answer.

Bringing Wade out of limbo might be difficult, but Philip was worse. I needed a future, a plan… and he'd spent an existence from one hunt to the next.

I knew I didn't want to go to France anymore, or Finland. Maybe he didn't either.

"If we stay here, Philip, we have to make this place ours. All of Maggie's things go into boxes and get stored in the attic."

He pulled back, poised on his knees, and I could see his mind rolling over my words as if they'd never occurred to him. "Would you want that?" he asked. "To make a home here… in this house?"

"It's a start."

I knew he was terrified of being alone again. After so many years in isolation, he didn't want to go back. After so many years of being wrapped up in William, I didn't want to live alone. We were weak, perhaps, but this was the truth.