Casper The Commuting Cat: The True Story Of The Cat Who Rode The Bus And Stole Our Hearts

Wait in line with the human passengers. This is very important. For some reason, said humans find it odd and amusing when cats share their transport. They are clearly the ones who are odd and amusing, for if they wished to retain such vehicles purely for their own use, why have open doors and comfortable seats? However, if you adhere to bizarre human rules relating to something called ‘queues’, they will change their minds and think your presence is completely natural. Humans are very keen on regulations, which is why they wash themselves only in the privacy of their own homes rather than when they actually need to do so – and they admire any species who can do the same.

Do not draw attention to yourself by pushing to the front of the queue. Allow a human or two in front of you, and a few more behind. By taking up a position in the middle, barely anyone will notice you.

When you enter the vehicle, choose the seat that most appeals to you – from my research, I find a window seat to be most intriguing, as well as those towards the heating at the back of the bus. You may find that a human wishes to share the seat with you – this is unpleasant at times (see my previous comment on their washing habits – not all of them smell quite as fragrant as one would hope), but has to be accepted.

Should a human sit beside you, pretending to be asleep often works (I find that pretence is often not required as there is something about being on a bus that lends itself to a lovely little snooze). Some may be courageous enough to stroke or pat you – allow this. They are generally harmless, and I personally rather like them, so why not indulge their ways?

Ignore rules that are inconvenient or clearly not applicable to our species. I find that drivers on my chosen bus route shout at their fellow humans to get off once we reach what they call a ‘terminus’. This does not suit me. I wish to go back home at the end of my trip, not potter around shops. I find that by ignoring such orders, new rules – much better ones – can be put in place that apply only to felines and allow us to get whatever we want – which is the purpose of life, really.

When you have reached your destination (feel free to stay on the bus for as long as you wish), alight at your home stop, casually wander off, paying no heed to the humans with gaping mouths who are scratching their heads, and trot home to mum (or other human) for a nice snack.

Cross your paws that no one gives the game away, because if they do, oh dear me . . .

CHAPTER 15

Casper Conquers Plymouth

From what I learned, picked up from lots of little conversations, I don’t think the drivers encouraged Casper to begin with, as they were concerned that he was going to get lost. He seemed to have just worn them down. As they always saw him in the same shelter, and they guessed that he lived nearby, they started to let their defences down. He was very fast and I don’t believe he waited in the queue to begin with – his initial concern was to get on the bus quickly and be allowed to stay there. It was only once he had established his right to be on the bus that he remembered his manners. Once the drivers had seen him often, they let him get away with it. Casper had also been the subject of a lot of chat in the depot, and once the drivers knew they weren’t the only ones letting him nap and giving him free trips, they didn’t feel so bad about what they were doing.

As time went on, Casper’s regular trips started to be noticed by passengers too. I later discovered that there were those who would pick him up when he got back to Poole Park Road if he showed no sign of waking up, and gently pop him into the shelter across from his house, before getting back on the bus and finishing their own journey. I was starting to get the feeling that there were a lot of good people around who were doing all they could to look after Casper when I wasn’t there, and I was particularly grateful to the drivers.

One of the drivers said she often stopped opposite my house for her break, and she’d let Casper on while she waited or read her newspaper, but she was very nervous about driving off with him as she had no idea that he was doing this so often and he always found his way back home. Once her break time was up, she would collect Casper from whatever seat he had chosen and pop him back in the shelter, so he got a little time on the bus but she didn’t have the worry of wondering whether he was going to get lost. It turned out that quite a few of the drivers were taking pictures of Casper on their mobile phones to show to family and friends who were a bit suspicious about whether this was actually happening.