Чистый nonsense

As for myself, I am sitting up today for the first time – partly dressed as the cucumber said when oil & vinegar were poured over him salt & pepper being omitted.

Что касается меня, то я нынче впервые засиделся допоздна – частично одетый, как сказал огурец, когда его полили маслом и уксусом, а солью и перцем не посыпали.

I may not have thyme later, as the busy bee said when the snail urged him to lie in bed.

Может статься, познее у меня не будет время, как говорил деловитый пчёл, когда улит убеждал его полежать в постели.

… one oughtn't to judge harshly, as the chaffinch said when he heard the snail call the Hedgehog a cursed old pincushion.

… следует воздерживаться от категорических суждений, как сказал зяблик, услыхав, что улит называет Ежа мерзкой старой подушечкой для иголок.

I fear I have only the alternative before me of beginning & executing the whole zoo over again, or of giving up my 40 years work, altogether a disgust & humiliation I shrink from, as the snail said when they showed him the salt cellar.

Боюсь, что передо мной единственная альтернатива – снова начать и довести до конца весь зоопарк, либо зачеркнуть 40 лет работы, в общем, испытываю отвращение и унижение, как сказала улитка, когда ей показали солонку.

“A Pessimistic Conversation”

Setting out for India in 1873, Edward Lear met a German Pessimist who sought to advise him on the spectacles he should wear. The following conversation took place:

G. P. You vear spectagles alvays?

E. L. Yes.

G. P. They vill all grack in India; von pair no use.

E. L. But I have many pairs.

G. P. How many?

E. L. Twenty or thirty.

G. P. No good. They vill all grack. You should have got of silver.

E. L. But I have several of silver.

G. P. Dat is no use; they vill rust; you might got gold.

E. L. But I have some of gold.

G. P. Dat is more vorse; gold is alvays stealing.

End of conversation

«Пессимистический диалог»

Отправляясь в Индию в 1873 году, Эдвард Лир повстречал Германского Пессимиста, который дал ему рекомендации по ношению очков. Произошел следующий разговор:

Г. П. Ви носить очки фсегда?

Э. Л. Да.

Г. П. Они фсе ломать в Индия; один пар не есть польза.

Э. Л. Но у меня много пар.

Г. П. Сколько?

Э. Л. Двадцать или тридцать.

Г. П. Не есть карашо. Они фсе ломать. Ви должен иметь серебра.

Э. Л. Но у меня есть несколько пар из серебра.

Г. П. То не есть польза; они ржафеть; ви может добыть солото.

Э. Л. Но у меня есть и золотые.

Г. П. То есть более хуше; солото фсегда воруй.

Конец диалога

A Moral Fable

Once upon a time three poor students, all very near-sighted, and each possessing a single pair of horn-rimmed spectacles, set out to walk to a remote university, for the purpose of competing for a professorship.

On the way, while sleeping by the road-side, a thief stole their three pairs of horn-rimmed spectacles.

Waking, their distress was great: they stumbled, they fell, they lost their way; and night was at hand, when they met a pedlar.

‘Have you any spectacles?’ said the three miserable students.

‘Yes,’ said the pedlar, ‘exactly three pairs; but they are set in gold; and with magnificent workmanship; in fact, they were made for the king, and they cost so much – …’

‘Such a sum,’ said the students, ‘is absurd; it is nearly as much as we possess.’

‘I cannot,’ the pedlar replied, ‘take less; but here is an ivory-handled frying pan which I can let you have for a trifling sum, and I strongly recommend you to buy it because it is such an astonishing bargain, and you may never again chance to meet with a similarly joyful opportunity.’

Said the eldest of the three students, ‘I will grope my way on as I eal. It is ridiculous to buy a pair of this man’s spectacles at such a price.’

‘And I,’ said the second, ‘am determined to buy the ivory-handled frying pan; it costs little, and will be very useful, and I may never again have such an extraordinary bargain.’

But the youngest of the three, undisturbed by the laughter of the two others, bought the gold-rimmed sumptuous spectacles, and was soon out of sight.

Thereon, No. 1 set off slowly, but, falling into a ditch, by reason of his blindness, broke his leg, and was carried back, by a charible passer-by in a cart, to his native town.

No. 2 wandered on, but lost his way inextricably, and, after much suffering, was obliged to sell his ivory-handled frying pan at a great loss, to enable him to return home.

No. 3 reached the University, gained the prize, and was made Professor of Grumphiology, with a house and fixed salary, and lived happily ever after.

Moral. – To pay much for what is most useful, is wiser than to pay little for what is not so.

Нравоучительная басня

Однажды трое бедных студентов, все очень близорукие, причём каждый обладал единственной парой очков в роговой оправе, отправились пешком в удалённый университет, с целью соискания профессорской должности.

В пути, когда они спали у обочины дороги, вор украл все три пары их роговых очков.