Chronicles From The Future: The amazing story of Paul Amadeus Dienach

They were approaching the edge of the park, where I was sitting, and I didn’t know if I had time to pull myself together a bit. I was bedraggled and I was quite sure my complexion was ashen. Among other things, I was afraid she might think that I was sitting there with the sole purpose of seeing her. While passing, she turned and looked at me, as if she had just seen me. She barely greeted me, as if I had done something to her, and she didn’t look very thrilled to see me but, when our eyes met, just for a single second, I felt the happiest person alive for absolutely no reason. And then I knew right away that her behaviour had nothing to do with me. She was just moody or angry at herself. I could tell from that hint of agitation in her eyes.

Angry at herself… There are times when I think that maybe I’m the only happy member of the group. Should I stop being so aloof? Could it be that it’s my fault? All this timidity, lack of courage and unjustifiable attitude…

11-IX

I’ll ask Stefan to postpone the trip to Norfor that he mentioned last night. And to think that, a little while ago, only the sound of this glorious location would have made me jump for joy! 16-IX

Stefan knows everybody here. He managed to find some old acquaintances of his who are interested in science books and so we traded a big part of Northam’s book collection with some history books of great significance, which would have taken ages to arrive with the “distribution”. Among them, a basic history book for children, ideal for beginners like me, a Dupont edition, a true miniature of three thousand glow-in-the-dark, green pages, with stereoscopic illustrations, tiny print that successively became enlarged only at the part that you’re reading and full-page panoramas.

I returned to the villa late at night. With the heavy bag tucked under my arm, excited about my new possessions, I locked myself in my room and emptied my treasure on the table. At the sight of it, a multitude of cheerful and magical memories of my childhood came to life, like a colourful parade before my eyes!

17-IX

Today, it was meant to be… Today, destiny had a beautiful surprise in store for me: I unexpectedly ran into her on my way back home. We spent a whole hour together. At first she cried. Then I told her I loved her. She then placed her hand on my heart. I kissed her and, finally, we stared deep into each other’s eyes… No one will ever know what happened between us! Thank you, God, for this moment! And I had a feeling since this morning that it would be a big day today!

She told me that she had been suffering and crying herself to sleep for days, due to the doubts that tortured her. She didn’t know what to do. She was reserved due to her earlier behaviour towards me. But my unwavering love, plus the fact that, after the accident, I looked purer and gentler and with a more romantic attitude—something that excites women—had struck her. I’m happy! She told me she wants to go everywhere with me. All the places she has visited, she wants to see again with me. Only then, she says, can a mere visit be transformed into true experience; otherwise only the eyes are satisfied and not the soul… 18-IX

I’ve been sitting here for hours, thinking about what happened yesterday. I can’t even read. I look like I’m daydreaming. There is no way that Stefan hasn’t figured it out. Yesterday was an outburst of emotions; reason and judgment had no place in it. Today, after so much stress, I feel so weak and exhausted that I can hardly write. I have so much to think about. I just remembered something that Stefan said, that as human beings, that is, forms of life with limited capacities, we are unable to define the borders of the “real” and the “unreal” or assess the actual scope of the Great Reality. It is impossible, he says, to know what lies beneath appearances and even less through the prism of our “child-like” temperament that frequently blows simple, human psychological reactions out of proportion. As he explained to me, they now believe that the old interpretation of the "idealisation of human instincts" merely seems to be so, and that the dimension of depth escapes us humans. The current global community wouldn’t hesitate to view an insignificant person who has made no apparent contribution to life as a harbinger of great things and erect a statue in their honour in the Valley of the Roses, their sacred city. 4-X