I returned this morning. I took Stefan with me as well. He was trying to convince me not to go, but I made him come with me to my old Switzerland, the place where I grew up. I wish I had listened to him; I wish I hadn’t gone. There was nothing left to remind me of my hometown. In the place where my house should have been, there were now only piles of stones, ruins… There was no sign of smoke or light on the horizon, nor did you hear the sound of crying babies or voices of adults. They had given way to countless pasture lands with thousands of animals, all part of the collective of the partners. There was nothing more. Once I managed to find my bearings, I sat down on a rock together with Stefan, facing the opposite mountain slopes, the companions of my childhood heart; at least they hadn’t changed in the slightest.
I quickly went back to my room. Silvia had sent me a message. Now, not only could I hear it but I could also see her through a screen; her eyes, her lips. She was cross for not having seen me for two days, but the sweet kind of cross…
We stayed in at night, listening to Liszt’s
COMPLETION OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SILVIA
22-XOver the last few days my life has been a dream. Silvia and I have consummated our love! I constantly feel inebriated−that’s how happy I am. There is a whole ritual around the sitatska, their purple, silk, wide ribbon which they stretch over dozens of flowers, which they’ve made sure to grow in abundance in the place. Following the ancestral custom of centuries, Silvia herself tied the ceremonial ribbon to the entrance. Before we entered I took one last look; it was as if I had entered a little paradise. And then…. oh God, thank you for allowing these hands to touch that divine body without taking away the magic from our relationship! I couldn’t have imagined it better. It was the ultimate completion! Don’t worry, my beloved, with me you will never regret it!
22-X Again(Late at night)
Her nod, however, once again reminded me of Anna. With Anna it hadn’t even crossed our minds to consummate our relationship. And I believe that if it had happened, Anna would have burst into tears and I would never have seen her again. She would have thought that our love was tainted.
TRIP TO THE NORTH: THE SUPERCITY OF NORFOR
5-XI was unable to resist the temptation of a new, short trip to the North. Once we were there, I asked Stefan, who continued to be very patient with me, to go to the western part. I was attracted by the colours of the settlements. I think that at no time in the history of civilisations had the dream resembled reality as much as here. Lengthy platforms made of synthetic marble shed a white light along the lakeshores. Consistency in architectural design and evenly distributed blocks of mansions across the whole area had made my familiar sights unrecognisable. You couldn’t tell Vevey from Clarens or Montreux anymore; they have all become one, or rather, have ceased to exist. A modern Babylon has taken their place, inhabited by millions of people if we judge by the innumerable mansions that almost reached the mountaintops.
There was nothing left of the age-old fortress of Chillon either. In its place, hanging gardens, scaly roofs, ball fields, hostels,
It’s been three days now since I’ve returned to Stefan’s, and I’ve returned to my writing after this sensational week. We engage in new, interesting conversations even more often lately. You don’t know what to expect here, from one day to the next. The long-planned trip to Norfor has now been postponed until the beginning of next week, though I was never asked. I seriously couldn’t believe their haste or even indifference to a certain extent. I think they might have miscalculated the impact that sudden change of scenery could have on me. And of course, it was doomed to fail, considering what they had been expecting of me. They had brought me back within two days.