It’s just Silvia and me this time and I feel blessed for every single day that finds me next to her. Today, I was patiently waiting to see her wake up, to see her first blinks under the morning light. When she woke up and saw me looking at her, she laughed. I don’t know what she thought of me at that moment.
I think that I made a huge blunder yesterday, while at one of the
At first we talked about a thousand things, while dancing. Her conduct was very simple and unpretentious. I don’t know what came over me and I asked her name. “Stella Cadens,” she answered in a witty manner. It was obvious she was joking so I laughed and changed the subject. I noticed, however, that from that point on she replied in monosyllables. I thought that my asking her name had upset her, but I was wrong. Soon she started making jokes again and when I called her “Miss…” she completed my phrase with the same name that she had given me before, and in the same witty manner. Perhaps her mind was focused on her partner, a tall dark-skinned lad, who didn’t seem much delighted to be dancing with the chubby girl he was matched with and whose gaze was constantly fixed on his girl.
I just remembered another odd thing. Two days ago, when the rain stopped and we all went out for a walk in the woods, I noticed a great many men and women who were observing ants for hours, with no apparent reason! They said they enjoyed watching them live and work under the light of day. They had fixed their eyes on two massive lines of ants, one going to work and one coming from work, carrying their burdens. They were even commenting that when an ant wasn’t able to carry its load, it searched for three or four other ants and, touching their antennas, clamoured for help. Two days ago, they also started giggling at the sight of the first, fresh grapes of the year! And if you asked them: “Haven’t you ever seen that before in your life?” they considered
An image filled with natural beauty is not just an image to them; they don’t only see it, they feel it as a unit that vibrates with the sheer joy of creation. Their antenna is not vision, like ours; they truly “experience” what they see! Plus, the ability that their individual vehicles—the
Even the changes of weather make a huge impression on them and become a topic of conversation. A phenomenon as simple as the change of seasons is a great source of happiness for them. And if you tell Stefan that the people of his era have rather lost their grip on reality, he won’t admit it. “It’s unbelievable,” he told me, “how much potential happiness is hidden in our inner world. You had no idea about it in your time, but just because we can’t grasp it doesn’t mean it is non-existent. The sensors of our souls have been dulled and are no longer adequate receivers. So all these things that you view as strange, who is to say that they are childish instead of divine?”
Living among them long enough one begins to feel unwittingly influenced by their lifestyle. Personally I see it as a type of mental detox and consider it good for me. Stefan considers it necessary! Here they manage to maintain the adolescent state of mind for many years. They try to keep their early years and the mentality they had back then unadulterated and the Valley urges them to keep the eyes of their souls open until they’re old and grey if they can.
1-XII Again(During the night)
Today, Silvia told me that when she’s with me she doesn’t miss her family. Then she told me that she had always known that nobody can be happy when alone, without a loved one by their side whom they can love and cherish.