Come to Me Quietly

We spent the afternoon relaxing in front of the TV. I loved it, the feeling that things were the way they were supposed to be, just Jared, Christopher, and me. I lay on the floor while the two of them sat on the couch. Often I would catch Jared stealing glances at me, his eyes soft as they caressed my body. It was as if he managed to touch me without ever laying a hand on me. I shivered and hugged myself, longing for time to pass because I couldn’t wait to be back in his arms.

Night dimmed the sky, and a dense calm hovered in the room as the day bled away. Jared sank deeper into the couch, his legs extending farther and farther out in front of him. His feet rested on the sides of my head, flanking me, casual, but with a presence that warmed my soul. I yawned and settled into the comfort of it.

Christopher jumped to his feet. “I can’t stand to sit around here any longer. Let’s go play pool or something.”

“Ugh, Christopher, I’m half-asleep over here,” I said, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands.

He pointed at me as he headed for the hall. “Exactly. That’s why we’re getting out of here. It’s nine o’clock at night, and I’ve been sitting on my ass all day.”

Warily, I tipped my head back to peek up at Jared, and frowned.

He just idly smiled and nudged me in the shoulder with his foot. “Get up, lazy girl. We’re going out.”

Charlie’s was Christopher’s favorite dive bar. There were plenty of pool tables, the drinks were cheap, and one band or another was playing almost every night. I pulled into the overflowing parking lot and the three of us climbed out of my car. The draw of this place was easily understood. Most appealing to the city’s delinquents had to be the fact that they didn’t card at the door. Christopher had been coming here for years and began dragging me along when I moved in with him.

We made our way through the groups of people huddled outside and entered through the large wooden double doors. Inside, it was dingy, dank, the lights cast low. Old neon bar signs glowed from the walls, and hardwood planks covered the grimy floors. Straight back was a large horseshoe bar, surrounded by at least twenty stools. Three or four bartenders contended with the overeager patrons, and waitresses rushed between the high, round tables that claimed the space directly in front of the bar. Music blared from overhead speakers, and to the right was a small stage where a band flitted around preparing for their set. A few couples danced within the boundaries of the smooth dance floor facing the stage. To the left and extending farther down the side were rows and rows of pool tables. Vintage stained glass billiards lights swung from the rafters, illuminating the well-worn felt tables below. Just like the parking lot outside, the place was packed.

Christopher elbowed Jared to get his attention. “I’ll go grab us a couple of beers. You want to get us a table?”

“Sure.”

Christopher lifted his chin toward me. “You want anything?”

“Um, would you get me a Coke?”

It hadn’t taken much for him to convince me to be DD.

He grinned, walking backward. “A Coke it is.” He turned and disappeared into the crowd.

Jared’s attention trailed him until the second he was out of sight. As soon as he was, Jared reached for my hand, squeezing it as he drew it to his mouth. A subdued groan vibrated against my skin. His blue eyes were all warm when he looked down at me. “I’ve been dying to touch you for hours. Do you have any idea how much, Aly?” He pressed my palm to his nose. When he pulled back, he was biting at his full lower lip, something like confused wonder slipping through his expression as his eyes roamed over my face. A smile suddenly widened his mouth, and he folded my hand in his and tugged. “Come on, let’s find a table.”

My grin was uncontrollable as he wove us through the crowd. I loved this feeling, like we were natural and meant to be. We found an open pool table in the far back. He picked a cue and helped me do the same, and I watched as he leaned over to rack the balls. He grinned back at me, all sly and cocky.

This side of Jared was so unexpected, this boy who smiled so effortlessly, as if for the moment his pain had been suspended and he’d been granted a reprieve. I wondered if he noticed the stirring of joy I witnessed in his eyes or if he was so conditioned he could only recognize the bleakness glutting his heart and mind.

I had the overwhelming urge to approach him from behind, and I thought that was surprising, too. I wanted to run my hand up his back and feel his strength as it rippled and bunched beneath the cover of his shirt, to be intimately reminded of what we had shared last night. I was different with him. Better and worse, too confident and incredibly naive. Jared made me desire things I’d never desired before. It confused me, left me both vacant and filled. Almost complete.