Funny Children's Stories. Bilingual Edition

And worst of all is that it is still very dark outside. But when it is cold and dark, it is much worse than when it is cold and light. And while I am still inside our yard, it is not that cold. Because I still have my heat inside of me. But when I go out into the street, the wind starts to blow into my face hard and, most importantly, without stopping.

Of course I lower the earflaps of my hat and raise up my collar. But that does not help. The wind keeps blowing into my face, and my nose starts to freeze. Then come my cheeks. They start to freeze too. And the harsh and bristly snow flies right into my eyes.

And I forget that it is dark outside. I think only about the wind and the snow and do not even realize where I am going. But since I go there almost every day, my legs carry me where I have to go. And sometimes I ask someone, “Is there anything in the world that is worse than when it is dark, cold, snowing, windy, you are only twelve, and you are on your way to school early in the morning?”

But today, as I was going to school, I suddenly remembered the summertime and the river. And I remembered lying on the hot sand.

I lie on my stomach, with my head resting on my arms. I feel a little cold because I swam for too long and the water in the river was cold. And the water is dripping down from my nose. But then it stops dripping and I am fully dry. And I start feeling hotter and hotter. And when I get too hot, I get up and run to the river again.

As I was remembering all that today on my way to school, I thought that next time I will not run to the river, even when I become really hot. I will lie on the hot sand under the hot sun for a long, long time. I will bake myself under the sun. I will let its heat fill me completely. And I will lie for as long as I can stand it.

And when I feel that I can no longer be under the sun, I will still lie a little longer. Because I want to be hot. I want to be hot all the time.

Also today I was thinking about far away hot countries where there is no winter and it is always warm. And most importantly, we were told in school that such hot countries do exist. We were told that it is never cold in those countries but that life is not very happy there.

But I would go there anyway. I do not care. Because I cannot imagine how it could be bad where it is never cold. As for life being not very happy there — I would learn to live with that.

Об авторе

Слава Бродский большую часть жизни прожил в России. Получил математическое образование в Московском государственном университете. Сочетал работу в промышленности с исследованиями в области прикладной математической статистики. Автор ряда книг в этой области.

В студенческие годы он начал заниматься живописью. Его ранние живописные работы относятся к периоду нонконформизма в России (60-е — 80-е годы). В начале 80-х годов начал писать короткие рассказы, которые в то время опубликованы не были.

С 1991 года Слава Бродский живет в Соединенных Штатах Америки. Работает в финансовой индустрии Манхеттена.

Продолжая занятия живописью, он начал первые эксперименты в своей домашней керамической мастерской. Вскоре после этого искусство керамики стало составлять основу его художественного творчества.

В 2004 году Слава Бродский начал свою писательскую карьеру. За прошедшие с этого момента годы были опубликованы такие его книги как «Бредовый суп», «Релятивистская концепция языка», «Исторические анекдоты», «Смешные детские рассказы», «Большая кулинарная книга развитого социализма».

Слава Бродский — вице-президент компании “MetLife”. Он живет со своей женой в Миллбурне (Нью-Джерси). Его вебсайт www.slavabrodsky.com.

About Author

Slava Brodsky lived most of his life in Russia. He got his mathematician’s diploma from Moscow State University. Combined work in the industry with research in the field of applied mathematical statistics. He is the author of several books in this field.

In his student years, he was engaged in painting. His early paintings belong to the period of non-conformism in Russia (60’s — 80’s). In the beginning of 80’s, he began writing short stories. However, they were not published at that time.

In 1991, Slava Brodsky moved to the United States of America. Since then he has worked in Manhattan's financial industry.

Continuing painting, he began his first experiments at his home ceramis workshop. Since then, the art of ceramics has been at the core of his artistic creativity.

In 2004, Slava Brodsky began his career as a writer. Since then, he has published several books in Russian: “Delirious soup”, “The Linguistic Concept of Relativity”, “Historical Anecdotes”, “Funny Children's Sories”, “Grand Culinary Book of Developed Socialism”.

Slava Brodsky is a Vice President of MetLife. He lives with his wife in Millburn, New Jersey. His website is www.slavabrodsky.com.