Heartstone

We were silent a moment. Then I asked, 'What will you do? As I have said before, you can do what you like with your life now. That is what I wanted for you. The Court of Wards has permitted me to hold all your money. I have to hold it for three years, but whatever sums you want, just ask. So far as I am concerned it is yours. God knows you deserve it after what it has cost you. I have it safe in the old gold coins, protected from this endless collapse in the value of money.'

Emma shook her head. 'I do not know, Master Shardlake. I like it at my rooms. You know, I thought it might be more difficult to pass as a boy in the city. But no one looks at you twice, it is easy to blend in. Thank you, by the way, for sending me the money to buy those books.'

'You can buy what you like now. You are rich.'

'Yet still I do not know who or what I am. But I do not want to be a woman, to be an obedient, subservient creature, wear those uncomfortable clothes.'

'You should meet Barak's wife, Tamasin, nobody could ever call her subservient. And it is possible for a woman to be independent, if she has money.'

Then Emma sighed, looked away. She said, 'There is a boy who has a room in my house, who I have gone drinking with some evenings. I—I like him. His name is Bernard.' She reddened slightly, her scars showing pale, then added, 'But I fear he might guess the truth, as Sam Feaveryear did. Love,' she said bitterly, 'it is a very dangerous thing.'

'Emma, it would be difficult for you to assume the identity of a woman now, I know. But I have been thinking. Jack's wife Tamasin could help you, show you how a woman dresses and behaves. She is to be trusted with the story, and you would like her, I am sure.'

'Does she not have a new baby?'

'Yes. But she would be glad to help you, I am sure.'

She shook her head. 'I cannot bear the thought of learning how to become a different person. Not again. No matter how good and kind your friend Tamasin is, it would bring back those days when Hobbey and Fulstowe made me learn how to impersonate Hugh. And wearing skirts again would make me feel hopeless, helpless, as I did when my brother died.'

'But now you have money—'

'Even if I wanted to, I do not think I could do it.' She took a deep breath. 'Master Shardlake, I have been thinking of going abroad, perhaps to the Low Countries, away from England. Perhaps even seeing if I can get a place in one of the universities there. I could never be a soldier now, not after what happened.'

'No.'

'You see, I think you were right, perhaps I am a scholar by nature. But there are no women scholars, are there?'

'There are learned women. The Queen herself has written a book, and the Lady Elizabeth—'

Emma shook her head vigorously. 'They have a dispensation, as royalty.'

I thought, then asked, 'Are you running away from your feelings for this boy Bernard?'

Her face worked, the scars pulling. 'I need time, Master Shardlake. I need some occupation. Would you let me go abroad?'

'It is your life. I have interfered too much with people's fates. I will help you, at any time. But you must come to me.'

She stood up. 'Then I will arrange a passage to Flanders. I will write to you from there. To let you know how I fare.'

'You will go, then?'

'Yes.' Emma rose from the bench and extended a long-fingered hand.

I said, 'Emma, there is one thing I have never asked. Do you still wear the heartstone?'

She looked at me, a warmth in her eyes I had never seen, then shook her head. 'No,' she answered quietly. 'I cast it in the Thames. It was part of my old life with the Hobbeys. I wear the cross my mother gave me now, that you took from Hoyland and gave me in August.'

I smiled. 'Good.'

'I wish I could have thanked that good old lady for what she and poor Michael did, but I could not—' her voice tailed away.

'Practise the deception with her? No. But I have sent word to her that Hugh is safe.'

She said, 'I thank you for everything, Master Shardlake. But I am on my own path now; let it lead where it will.'

I took her hand. The rough calluses formed by the years of archery practice were fading. I watched as Emma Curteys walked back down the path, to all appearances a young gentleman with a firm tread, a fine coat, short brown hair under a black cap. The dead yellow leaves swirled around her feet.

HISTORICAL NOTE

HENRY VIII's French war of 1544-6 was probably the most disastrous policy decision that even he ever made. Henry has sometimes been portrayed as a 'modernizing' monarch, but his attitude to war harked back to medieval times. From the beginning of his reign he wanted the glory of the conquests in France that had garlanded his medieval predecessors. France, however, was now a united and prosperous state, with a far larger population than England's.