Jade War

Wen drove them home. Shae felt relieved, if somewhat damaged. She thought of Maro—his earnest expression, his thoughtfulness, his genuine optimism and belief in her—and a band of sadness and guilt cinched around her and made it momentarily hard to breathe. The two of them had not discussed having children, but the way Maro spoke so fondly of his nieces, she was certain he wanted a family of his own eventually. She hadn’t called him or returned any of his several messages since they had spoken on the phone in her office three days ago, before she’d known for certain what she had to do. And what she still had to do. She was terrified that if she spoke to him, something in her voice would give her away and he would know, or that hearing his concern or seeing him again would rob her of her conviction.

She leaned her head against the car door. “Do you think less of me now?” she asked.

Her sister-in-law stopped the car so abruptly that Shae had to put a hand against the dash. Wen pulled the car over to the curb and put the gear shift in park. She turned to face Shae, her eyes flashing. “Shae-jen, I’m ashamed to say this, but there was a time when I didn’t trust you very much because I wasn’t sure you were the sort of person who would put others ahead of yourself.” She fixed Shae with a steady, almost unnerving stare. “You could’ve resigned your position to marry your boyfriend and have a child. It would create a miserable scandal for a while, but then you’d be free to live a much easier life. But where would No Peak be without you as Weather Man? How could my husband be Pillar without your counsel? What would become of the valuable work we’ve done together, and in the future how could I do anything in the clan at all without you?” Wen declared, almost angrily, “I could never forgive you if you decided to be so selfish. So how can you believe I would think any less of you for being responsible instead?”

Shae was a little taken aback. “But you have children.”

Wen put the car back into gear and began driving again. She finished the dregs of her tea and spoke matter-of-factly. “We each serve the clan in the way we’re best suited. Look at Ayt Mada and how alone she is. We must never be like that.”

* * *

Before she’d left Kekon to pursue a degree at Belforte Business School in Windton, Espenia, Shae had lived for three weeks in a room in the Tranquil Suites Hotel on Euman Island. Jerald had been discharged two months ago and was awaiting her back in his home country, and after the most recent screaming family argument, Shae could not bear to be around her grandfather and could not stand to look at Hilo’s face, so she packed her bags and moved out of the Kaul house.

Lan was the only one to come see her the night before her departure. He took the ferry from Janloon and knocked on her hotel room door to offer to take her to dinner. Shae said she didn’t care where they went, so Lan suggested a nearby noodle shop. “After tomorrow, you’ll be eating Espenian food, so let’s have something homey tonight,” he said. The restaurant was on the main thoroughfare of the port town. Neighboring bistros and bars had signs and menus written in Espenian, and on a pleasant summer evening, off-duty Espenian military personnel crowded the open-air patios and conversed loudly on the sidewalks. There were no lanterns hanging in the shop windows; Lan and Shae were not seated or served ahead of everyone else. Shae’s flight was not until tomorrow, but she already felt as if she were in a different country.

Lan did not seem irritated at not being recognized and saluted. As they waited for their meals, he took in the environs with thoughtful bemusement. “I wouldn’t be surprised,” he said, “if this is what the whole world looks like one day—an unrecognizable blend, cultures and people mixed together. Where will jade and clans and Green Bones fit in, I wonder?”

“That’s for you to think about, not me.” In retrospect, she’d been rude to her brother, but at the time, her jade was locked in a bank safe and she was still moody and ill from withdrawal.

“You should eat more,” Lan said, when he saw that she hadn’t finished the food in her bowl. “You have a long, tiring trip ahead of you, and then you’ll be alone in a foreign country.”

“I won’t be alone,” Shae countered. “I’ll be with Jerald.”

Lan looked at her compassionately. “We’re always alone with our own decisions.” Her brother had been Pillar for a year, and in that time, he’d grown more somber and forthright, had seemed to age in a way that widened even the nine-year gap between them. “You can make a rational, well-informed choice, and still be unprepared for what it means. You’re the youngest in the family, and a woman, and a Kaul, and none of that makes life easy on Kekon, but in Espenia, you’ll start out below everyone else. You’ll have to fight for every scrap of respect that you’re used to getting at home.”

“Did Grandda send you to make a final attempt at discouraging me?” Shae asked.