Junior Year Box Set

“You get yours, and I’ll take the boy,” Grandma Dawson told Grandma Felton. “Come on, David.”

I almost laughed when my mom about opened her mouth but decided to shut it as Grandma Felton dragged her into the office and closed the door. I grabbed my bags and hound, and we accompanied Grandma Dawson to my apartment.

“This war between you and your mother has to stop,” Grandma Dawson said as soon as we made it upstairs.

I started to defend myself, but she gave me a look that I’d never seen from my grandmother before. I’d never seen her mad at me, but this time she was thoroughly pissed-off. My first instinct was to apologize, but I kept my mouth shut.

“You fighting with your mother is both childish and immature. She has just been humiliated and found out that her husband is capable of cheating on her. Before you start in on how she should have talked to you about it, don’t even bother until you’ve lived it. I know, because your grandfather did it to me repeatedly during our marriage. Everything your mother thought she believed about your father is now in question. At every turn, she’ll think she hears whispers of people talking about how foolish she was,” Grandma said, and left that hanging in the air.

I saw a tear form at the corner of my grandmother’s eye and then trickle down her cheek. In that moment, my heart broke to see her in pain. She’d had years to come to grips with Grandpa Davey’s infidelity. That it had never occurred to me that Grandma had a problem with it made me ashamed of myself. It had never been a secret that I had other aunts and/or uncles out there. That was why it had been so easy to buy that Phil was my uncle and not my half brother. I’d simply assumed that my grandmother had been alright with him stepping out on their wedding vows. I had a whole new respect for my grandmother. She had endured because she loved him. I also saw the pain that it caused.

No one wants to have the stark mirror of reality shoved in front of their face. The visage looking back appalled me. All I’d done was look at how this affected me. Yes, my mother had mishandled things, but who could blame her? It wasn’t as though there was a playbook that told you that if this happened, you should do that, and everything would be better.

As I stepped back and looked at it again, it became clearer how the pieces fit together. Over the years, as Tami and I grew closer, it had been assumed we would end up together. Greg was to marry Beth, and I was destined for Tami. Even Tami and I had believed that until recently. Well, she still might believe it, but I didn’t. Mom had reacted when I told her that I was going out with Mona. Mom had to see the parallels between the revelation that Dad had cheated on her and me stepping out on Tami. That was when she grounded me and had not allowed me to go to Tracy’s party at the lake house.

Then she’d come back from Las Vegas and just forgiven my dad and found I had no forgiveness for Tami. I was sure Mom looked at it and wondered if she’d made a mistake. If I couldn’t do it, then how had she? My mother was nothing if she wasn’t stubborn. She knew deep down that I’d made a mistake. Tami and I had parted so that she could get life experience and have no regrets when we finally got together. At some point, it was bound to happen that Tami would hook up with a guy. Hell, it had occurred with at least two different guys when she was in the UK. My mom knew that the problem I had was that I knew this guy. Heck, this guy had been my best friend. If Mom could survive having my new half brother shoved in her face, then she must have felt I should survive seeing Tami and Alan together.

I could see her logic and even understand it. The problem with that was I wasn’t my mother. Her choice to remain with my dad was her own. This was my

life, and no matter how much my mother thought I should act a certain way, it wasn’t her call. Just as my uncle had often told me, my feelings were real. I couldn’t live my life to please anyone but myself.

I thought about my life and how it would be if I let what was going on with my mom continue, and felt myself choke up. Something I did know was that I loved my mom and she loved me. She had made a decision that our family, not just my dad, meant enough to her to accept what had happened and move on. What was I willing to do to make peace with her? I was caught between growing up and being my own man and being my mom’s little boy.

I ended up having a very long discussion with my grandmother. When we were done, we had a new, deeper relationship. She had always been just Grandma to me, but now she was much more. She was now someone I could go to for advice and love. It was one of those things you never realized was missing in your life until you found it. My grandmother was a very astute woman and had insight that made me understand why my grandfather had loved her so much.