Keturah and Lord Death

“May I?” He held out his hand for the spoon, which was coated in the glistening filling.

He tasted. His eyes grew larger. He licked the spoon again.

“Keturah, it is delicious!”

He licked the spoon until he had cleaned every drop of filling off it. “It is unlike anything I have tasted before. It is wonderful! Surely you will win Best Cook at the fair.”

With that, he fell upon one knee. “Keturah, will you marry me?”

“Why, Ben, I—I don’t yet have the ribbon.”

“But you will. And if not, Father need only taste your pie to know that you should have won. Say you will marry me, Keturah.”

My heart fluttered once, like a dying butterfly, and then was still. Utterly still and silent. “One moment,” I said. I put my hand in my apron pocket and gripped the charm tightly. Yes, this was the man Soor Lily referred to when she said I was already in love. Surely he was.

No. The eye in the charm looked. Slowly it rolled in my hand, like a sad shaking of the head.

My heart was as mute as a stone within my bosom.

“No!” I said aloud to my heart.

Ben looked confused.

“I—I mean, no, I should win fairly, Ben,” I stammered. “What if the crust is tough?”

He stood up. “Do not concern yourself, Keturah.” And then he tried to kiss me.

I pushed him away. “Sir,” I said, “I beg you.”

Again he looked confused. “Very well. Of course I respect your maidenly modesty. We shall wait until your pie has won, fair and square, and I shall propose to you on the spot.”

He grabbed my hand, kissed it, and left. I stood still, spoon in hand, and watched him walk away. I squeezed the charm as if I would cease its rolling. I did not bother to close the door.

“Stupid girl,” I said to myself at last. I began scrubbing the kitchen, berating myself all the while. Did not every girl in Tide-by-Rood dream of this? But Ben was not my true love, and I needed no charm to tell me so.

I scrubbed so hard I almost knocked over the pie, and then in frustration I ran from the house. I ran and ran, searching, searching the eyes of every man I saw. Who was he, this man I wanted to love? It was not only to free myself from Death’s bond that I searched. What good was my life if my heart would not love?

Soon I had followed all the village paths and looked at every man who smiled at me, and came at last to Hermit Gregor’s. His cottage had been cleaned and whitewashed by the women of the village, but already he was beginning to make new piles: a pile of bones, a pile of hair and threads and sheep wool, a pile of rocks, and a pile of refuse from around the village. I could see his dirty, hairy face just inside the window.

“Come out, Hermit Gregor,” I called sweetly.

“You aren’t here to clean, are you?” he whimpered.

“No, Hermit. I am here to see if I love you.”

I heard a terrified squeal, and his head disappeared. Boldly I entered his house. He was half-hidden beneath a pile of straw that served as his bed. I could see only the lower half of him, and it was trembling.

“Be a man, Hermit Gregor,” I demanded, “and look at me.”

“Why would you want to love me?” he cried from beneath the straw.

“So I might marry you, of course.”

“Marry!” He wiggled farther under the straw.

“Look at me,” I said, “or I shall call my friend Lord Death to visit you.” Slowly he emerged from the straw and sullenly looked in my eyes. The eye rolled so hard it almost wrenched from my grasp.

I shuddered and ran thankfully away.

* * *

Evening had fallen and the lanterns had been lit and the music and the dancing begun when I returned slowly to the common. I hovered on the fringes of the crowd, hopeless, until Gretta and Beatrice found me and drew me into the thick of things. I was immediately asked to dance.

I tried to love every boy and bachelor who requested a dance, to no avail. A calmness had settled over me. Somewhere, as Soor Lily said, I already loved someone.

Everyone, married and unmarried, asked to dance with me, and all were kind and gracious. But it was hard to enjoy my honor when I was half in forever, and when the eye jittered and rolled in my hand for every man.

Grandmother and her old friends watched as I danced, and I saw her shine with pride for the gentle things they said of me. Sometimes the dancing stopped for acrobatics and singing, and there was even a play. It was a glorious night.

At the height of the festivities, I was asked to dance again, this time by John Temsland.

My friends, and indeed all the other villagers, stood agape as John led me onto the dance floor. Gradually, in an effort not to stare, some couples joined us in dancing, but Gretta and Beatrice continued to stare at me and would not pay attention to anyone who asked for a dance.

John was wearing a tunic the color of pale straw and breeches the green of the forest. His hair was loose and long, his skin browned by the labor on the road, and his eyes were blue as the banners that hung from the manor.

“Sir,” I said.

He twirled me, then drew me in a little closer. “I want to extend my personal thanks, Keturah,” he said.