Lilian Jackson Braun - Cat 17 Who Blew The Whistle

Arriving home with his English pencil box, Qwilleran filled the top compartment with felt-tip pens. One of the black ones was missing again, and he found it in the foyer. The drawer he filled with jumbo paper clips. The Siamese watched, their inquisitive tails curved like scimitars. "Foiled, you villains!" he said as he locked the lid. He left the key in the lock, since neither cat had learned how to turn keys. It would be only a matter of time, he surmised.

He and Polly dined early at the Old Stone Mill, as she was attending a dessert-and-coffee wedding shower for one of the library clerks. "Would you care to join us?" she asked teasingly. "Men often attend showers now, you know."

"This man doesn't," he said, putting a brusque end to the subject. "The electrician and plumber were working on your house this morning. It's beginning to look less like a lumberyard and more like a habitation."

"What am I going to do with all those mounds of soil they excavated for the foundation?" she asked with a worried frown.

"I suppose they'll use some of it for fill and then grade the lot. They'll move the dirt anywhere you say, with two swipes of the bulldozer. "

"I'd love to have a berm between the house and the highway. With plantings it would give a sense of privacy, but I don't want it to look landscaped. I want it to look completely natural. How does one do that?"

Rather too sharply Qwilleran said, "One calls Kevin Doone. He attended horticultural college for four years to learn how to do that."

"Do I bore you with my concerns about the house, dear?" Polly asked with a frank gaze.

"You never bore me! You know that. But for your own sake - I wish you'd delegate your problems to the professionals instead of trying to make all the decisions yourself."

"It'll be the only house I'll ever build, and I want it to express me," she said meekly. "I've always lived in places where I've had to compromise and make do."

"I understand, and I apologize for being flip. What else is preying on your mind? I want to hear."

"Well... the interior. I'd love to have white plastered walls and Williamsburg blue woodwork. I saw it in a magazine - with country antiques - but one needs good furniture with such a stark background. My things aren't good, but they're family heirlooms, and I couldn't part with them. I know wallpaper backgrounds are more flattering to a hodgepodge of furniture, but... I'm absolutely smitten with the idea of white walls and blue woodwork. Last night I couldn't sleep for thinking about it."

The solution would be so easy, he thought, if she would let him bankroll a houseful of pedigreed country antiques. She could have the twistletwig rocker for starters. But Polly would never approve of such largess. He said, "Suppose one of your clerks came to you with such a problem. How would you advise her?"

After a pause, she said with an abashed half-smile, "I'd tell her to keep the things she loves and use wallpaper."

"And I believe you'd be right."

Polly breathed a large sigh. "I've been doing all the talking. How thoughtless of me! What have you been doing?"

"Well, I had a chat with your builder, and he's not a bad fellow, in spite of his raggle-taggle appearance and double negatives. I've come to the conclusion that Moose County is bilingual. Half of us speak standard English, and the other half speak Moose."

"What did you talk about?"

"Soccer, and the fact that one of his ancestors built the barn. Neither of us mentioned his father, of course, but I inquired about his mother's health. He seems to think that a Swiss doctor has a cure for her rare disease. One wonders how true it is, and how effective, and how safe."

"It's not to be dismissed out-of- hand," Polly asserted. "Alternative medicine has always been practiced in other countries, and now by maverick physicians here."

Then it was time for her to leave for the wedding shower. Qwilleran drove her back to the library, where her car was parked, and then went home to phone Celia.

She was waiting eagerly for his call. "I had a ball!" she cried. "Virginia is a lot of fun. She's contralto soloist at the little Stone Church. She told me I could sing in the choir. And do you want to hear something funny? There's a cat that attends services every Sunday! They leave the front door ajar, and she walks in, picks out a lap, and sleeps all through the sermon.... Besides working at the library, Virginia has three teenagers, a dog, two cats, a hutch of rabbits, and some chickens."

"Where did you have lunch?"

"Lois's Luncheonette, and Lois sent two free desserts to our table - bread pudding. It wasn't as good as mine. I use egg whites to make it fluffy and whole wheat flour to make it chewy, plus nuts and raisins, and vanilla sauce."

"How do I place an order?" Qwilleran asked.

"Do you accept credit cards?" There was laughter on the line before he could ask, "Did you meet Lisa Compton?"

"Yes, I did, and she's very nice. She told me about a sad case in West Middle Hummock where she can send me to - "