Lone eagle

“Am I? Why can't we be friends, Kate?” Because I still love you, she wanted to answer. Or did she? Maybe it was just the memory of love that looked like the real thing. Maybe all it had ever been was an illusion. What she had with Andy was real love. She was sure of it. Joe was something else, an illusion, a dream, a hope that refused to die, a childish fairy tale that she always wanted a happy ending for and couldn't have. Joe was a disaster waiting to happen, and she knew it. They both did. “Have lunch with me … please… I'll behave. I promise.”

“I'm sure we both would,” she said firmly, “but why put ourselves through it?”

“Because we enjoy each other's company, we always did. What are you worried about anyway? You're married, you have a baby, a life. All I have are airplanes.” He tried to sound pathetic and she laughed at him.

“Don't give me that, Joe Allbright! That's all you ever wanted. More than you wanted me, in fact. That's why I left you.”

“We could have had both,” he said sadly, and this time he sounded as though he meant it. She hated him for saying it now. It was much, much too late.

“I tried telling you that, you wouldn't listen,” she said sadly.

“I was incredibly stupid and scared of getting tied down. I'm smarter now, and braver. I'm older. And I know what I lost when you left me. I was too proud to admit to you or myself then what you meant to me. My life has been meaningless without you, Kate.” Joe sounded just as he had when she loved him most and it was everything she had always wanted to hear from him. It was a cruel trick of fate to hear it now. Too late.

“I'm married, Joe,” she said softly.

“I know. I'm not asking you to change that. I understand that you've made a life for yourself. I just want lunch. A sandwich, an hour. You can spare me that. I just want to show you what I've done.” He sounded so proud of it, and as though he had no one to share it with, which was his own fault. She had to believe there had been other women since she left, but knowing him maybe not, or maybe no one important. He was consumed by his planes and his business. And he had long since been recognized as the world's most important airplane designer. He was a genius. “Will you do it, Kate? Hell, you can't have much else to do with Andy gone. Get a sitter and come to lunch with me, or bring the baby.” But she wouldn't have done that. She had already used several baby-sitters when she and Andy went out for the evening, and she had some good ones to call. She wouldn't have taken Reed to an office building, in case he disturbed the people working there.

“All right, all right,” she said with a sigh. It was like arguing with a kid. He was so damnably persuasive. “I'll do it.”

“You're wonderful, Kate. Thank you.” What difference did it make? she asked herself. Why on earth did he care if she saw his office? She had to keep reminding herself that she was married to Andy. “How about tomorrow?” he suggested.

She thought about it for a long moment, and then nodded. “Okay.” She wanted to get it behind her and prove that she could do it, without falling for him again, or wanting him, or being drawn to him. It had to be possible. It was like a reformed alcoholic proving to himself that he could walk past a bar without drinking. And she knew she could do it, no matter how appealing he was.

“Do you want me to pick you up?” he offered, and she declined. She said she'd meet him at the restaurant. He suggested Giovanni's, and she said she'd meet him at twelve-thirty

She arrived at the restaurant the next day, precisely on time, in a white linen suit, with her hair pulled back and a big straw hat she had bought at Bonwit Teller. She looked very chic, and Joe was waiting for her. He kissed her on the cheek, and several people looked at them. He was a very distinctive figure, and easily recognized after all the press he got, and she was a beautiful woman in a great hat. But no one knew who she was.

“You always made me look good,” he said as they sat down in a corner booth that gave them a little privacy.

“You do fine on your own,” she smiled at him. It was fun to go out to lunch, and she was surprised to realize that she hadn't done it since before the baby was born. With Andy gone, she had nothing to do except take care of Reed, and it was nice to be out in the world again like a grown-up. She loved Reed, but she had no one to talk to. Her childhood friends were all in Boston, and she had lost track of most of them during her years with Joe. Her passion for him and the time she'd spent helping him set up his business had isolated her from everyone she'd ever known. And in the time since, she'd gotten wrapped up in Andy's life and their baby. She hadn't had the time or desire to make new friends.