My Secret Life

The girl was handsome, young and attractive, fresh cunt always is, and she evidently was not quite a professional harlot. — My cock erected itself when I thought about her next morning, and in the evening I went to the rendez-vous, but neither of them came, which strangely enough vexed me.

[I sought the place no more, having plenty of other fish to try then, but out of curiosity went there about fifteen months after. — The house was empty and to let.]

Chapter X

Disjecta membra. • Negress di Medicis. • Black and white pictures. • “You don't fuck much.” • Eight o'clock in the morning. • Two women talking in a street. • One taken and one left. • A train missed. • A cunt hit. • Three weeks without fucking. • A prisoner's wife or mistress? • An experienced har-lot of fifteen. • An ugly cunt. • Frig, fuck, bugger, and suck, seriatim. • Her erotic experiences and curious history.

At a lapunar at the extreme south of France I saw the women for selection. It was in the middle of he day and soon after luncheon — I never could account for my sudden lechtes and had one now. After seeing the ladies of the establishment dishevelled and al-most in nightgown attire, I fancied none of them. — “Is there no lady who speaks English?” “Yes, I speak leetle.” — It was so little that I couldn't understand a word she said, in fact her English consisted in: “Ma conte — fuckee one — preek — my loove — and damn.” — “Have you a Negress here?” — The mistress, or undermistress, replied in French. — “Ah no, but in five minutes I fetch one, and you shall be content, well con-tent.” I waited for the darkie.

What made me desire a Negress I cannot imagine, I had not before thought of having one, and when I re-quested one even had no desire for a black woman. Long ago I had said to myself “I shall never have a Negress again.” My curiosity about a darkie's cunt and a darkie's fucking was satisfied. — The thought, the wish, the demand for one came instantaneously, and whilst yesterday waiting and further reflecting, I wondered at myself. — Having to wait long, so long I was about to order in the female group again, for selection, when well and handsomely dressed in lady's clothes, in came a Negress.

I accosted her, she replied in French, and soon after said, “I leetale speek me Ingles.” Indeed she spoke more than a “leetal Ingles.” She spoke a good deal. “Shall I street it quite.” “Yes” — and she did excepting white silk stockings, natty boots, and yellow garters with large bows, which she carefully adjusted as if she thought they added immensely to her beauty.

There a black woman, who said she was twenty-two and who didn't look more, stood before -me, as perfect in form as the Venus di Medicis, but a little taller, in-deed I may say fatter and taller. — She was quite black, but there was what may be termed an undertone in her skin which relieved the black, and made her look as if made in white marble and colored afterwards. Her eyes were European in expression tho very dark, she had the prognathous jaw of her race (of the Soudan she said), large mouth and fullish lips, between which shewed a set of teeth whiter than ivory, and so regularly beautiful that they might have served for an advertizing dentist's glass case; and somehow the prognathous jaw — ugly in itself to us Europeans — was hidden and forgotten in a certain contour of head and face, and I ceased to notice this racial feature.

For the first time in my life I think, my prick erected itself at a Negress. — I may have been so with them before, but if at this minute I recollect rightly, my prick needed a deal of coaxing before it entered their cunts. I am told there are many tribes and immense varieties of face and form in the Negro race. — Then I posed her this way, that way, and saw that in every way she was perfectly beautiful in form, excepting in having longish heels and large feet.