My Secret Life

Towards dusk I went to meet my washerwomen. Near the corner of the lane in which they lived was an old-fashioned public-house well back from the road, in front of it were two large elm-trees, beneath them seats where poor people sat drinking and enjoying themselves in Summer. I stopped and looked. Quite at the back sat the two women whom I had fucked; they had pewter pots in front of them, and recognized me at once. Both got up, and rushed inside the public-house rapidly. Funk was on their faces, they seemed to struggle who should get inside the door first. I never saw them afterwards, but at the sight of them my cock stood rigidly, and I would have had them again had it been possible. Many a time since I have been to that churchyard to look at the place among the tombs where we three had our pleasures, and my prick always stiffened when I was there. Such impromptu copulations have a wonderful charm.

Chapter X

The washerwoman's lane. • An intention frustrated. • A slap in the face. • Choice language and temper. • A dinner in the Haymarket. • The rockingchair. • A lucky shove. • Up, and out in a second. • A quarrel, and flight • An enticing laugh. • The house in O...d. Street.

Down the lane was the washerwoman's cottage, it had a little garden in front of it. Through the window I saw the girls ironing by candle-light, I walked about till quite dark, then knocked at the door. The short one opened it, and seeing me shut the door saying, “Oh ! you musn't call.” So I went away.

Then I wrote asking them to meet me, and got no reply; but I persevered. I was constantly thinking of the girls' baudy talk when sitting on the barrow. I went to the house again, after writing to say when I would be at the end of the lane, and found them standing there, — by accident they said, they declared they had not had my letter. That was a lie I knew. I began smutty talk, which they cut short by both going to their cottage.

I wrote letters to the short one again, asking her to meet me, but nothing came of that. At the end of their lane were market-gardens, I saw Esther one evening at that end which joined the high-road, and was close to the public-house where I had seen the women sitting whom I had poked in the village church-yard. It was dark. I asked her to come for a walk, she prom ised in a few minutes to come to me by the market-garden. “If I don't”, said she, it will be because mother is at the door.” But she came.

I swore I was in love with her, which was true to the extent of her cunt, and wanted her to meet me elsewhere, — we would dine, and go to the theatre to-gether. No she could not be out late without a row. I kissed her, which she took to in the darkness kindly enough. I whispered, “I should like to fuck.” “If you say that again”, said she, “I'll slap your chops.” I did, and she gave me a slap in the face, and ran off. I was hurt, and so annoyed, that I did not follow her, but bawled out, 'You'll split your cunt into your arse-hole if you run like that.” Directly afterwards a voice like as of an oldish female in the darkness said, “Get along you drunken blackguard, the likes of you ought to be locked up. Insulting the girl by foul-mouthed remarks had not improved I feared my chance of broaching her, and fur a while I desisted.

But the letch was strong on me, I went to stay with my mother to be nearer my game, and passed my time in playing billiards at the public-house, and nightly I hunted the girl; so that at length under promise to take her to Vauxhall she agreed to come and dine with me, or as she said, have supper at eight o'clock with me. I usually then went to Vauxhall at ten o'clock.

I went to a French restaurant in the Haymarket, ordered a sitting and bed-room, and a good supper. Thought I, “With a feast and champagne with you by myself for a couple of hours, my cock and your cunt will make acquaintance.

To my annoyance she cane with her sister. “I could not stop out late without her”, said she. I made the best of it, though very angry on the quiet at seeing my game baulked.

“I'll kiss you at once because you have brought your sister unasked, and you Matilda because you came unasked”, — and I kissed both to my heart's con-tent. They liked it. They were dressed in the vulgarest style of their class, and I felt ashamed of going to Vauxhall with them, — and did not they gorge ! Champagne they had never tasted before and they lapped it up like milk. “It gets into your head, don't it?” said one. “No my dear, champagne gets into your tail, —you'll want to piddle soon.” “Oh! for shame!” “Never mind there are plenty of chamber-pots in the bed-room.” “If you talk that way we'll go”, said they laughing, but we went on talking and drinking.