Safe Harbour

“Ted hated to dance, although he was a fairly decent dancer. I haven't danced in years.” And she realized now that she wasn't likely to again. Not the way she chose to live. Pip was going to have to do all the dancing in the family from now on. She told herself she was over the hill. The Widow Mackenzie was in seclusion, and intended to stay that way. It was one of the many things she accepted about her situation. She would never make love again either. She didn't even allow herself to think about it.

“Maybe we should go dancing sometime, just to keep your hand in. Or your feet,” he teased, and she smiled. She knew he was just being silly with her. He was in high spirits after his evening with Pip.

“I think my feet are pretty much past it by now. Besides, I agree with you about Pip's music. Pretty scary stuff. She puts on the radio every day on the way to school, and nearly deafens me.”

“I thought about that tonight too. Industrial injury at seventh-grade dance. It's okay, as an artist, it's no great loss. It would be tough if I were a composer or a conductor.” They went on chatting for a while, and for once, he didn't mention the outreach team, and she was relieved. Her work with them had been going well, and there had been no untoward events in recent weeks. More than ever, she felt safe and comfortable with them. And she and Bob had become good friends. She gave him gratuitous advice about his kids, although he seemed to be doing fine on his own, and she talked a lot about Pip. He had just started dating his wife's best friend, which she thought was sweet, and probably good for his kids, who were crazy about her. She was happy for him.

It was nearly midnight when Matt left. It was a beautiful starry night, and she knew it would be peaceful and lovely on his drive home. She envied him. She missed the beach. And then, just before he drove off, she waved and ran down the steps. She had wanted to ask him something.

“I almost forgot. What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” It was in three weeks, and she had been meaning to ask him for weeks.

“Same thing I do every year. Ignore it. I am the original Bah Humbug person. I don't believe in turkeys. Or Christmas. They're against my religion.” It was easy for her to guess why. Since his children had gone out of his life, she was sure the holidays were painful for him, but maybe with her and Pip, it would be all right, and a little more appealing to him.

“Do you have any desire to change that? Pip and Andrea and I are going to have it here. What do you think?”

“I think you're sweet to ask me. But I'm not very good at all that anymore. Too much water under the bridge, or under the turkey, as it were. Why don't you and Pip come out for the day, the day after? I'd like that, if you want to come.”

“I'm sure Pip would, and so would I.” She didn't want to press him about Thanksgiving. She could only imagine how hard it must be for him. Just as it was for her now. The holidays had been hateful the year before. “I just thought I'd ask.” She was slightly disappointed, but concealed it from him. He had already done more than enough for them. He didn't owe them anything.

“Thank you,” he said, looking touched in spite of his refusal of her invitation.

“Thank you for taking Pip to her dance,” she said, smiling at him.

“I loved it. I'm going to listen to rap music every day, and see if I can learn to dance. I don't want to embarrass her next year.” It was nice that he even thought that way, Ophélie thought to herself, as he drove off. He was indeed a nice man. It was funny how people learned to survive, she mused. One learned to make do, and to make shift, and substitute and rely on friends instead of mates and spouses. They became family to each other, huddled together like people in a lifeboat in a storm. It wasn't what she had expected to do with her life, but it worked. It gave them each what they needed. It wasn't the kind of family unit she'd once had, but it was all they had now, and what worked for them. Like it or not, they had no other choice, and she was grateful for the kind hands that appeared in the dark, and held theirs, like Matt's. She was infinitely grateful to him as she locked the front door, walked upstairs, and went to bed in the silent house.

20

THANKSGIVING WAS EVEN HARDER THAN SHE'D EX-pected. There was something brutal about the holidays without Ted or Chad. There was no way to dress it up, soften it, or pretend it was less painful than it was. And when she said grace to the small group at her kitchen table, expressing gratitude for all they had to share, and asking for God's blessing on her lost son and husband, she broke down and sobbed. Pip cried with her. And watching them, Andrea began to cry, and seeing all the misery around him, her baby William began to howl too. Even Mousse looked unnerved. It was so awful that after a minute Ophélie started to laugh. And they spent the rest of the day alternating between hysterical laughter and tears.