Sea Change

“Or she’s a space alien,” Jesse said.

“Or, just shut up,” Molly said.

“I am the chief law enforcement officer of Paradise, Massachusetts,” Jesse said. “And your chief. Surely you can be more respectful than that.”

2 3

R O B E R T B . P A R K E R

“Of course,” Molly said. “I’m sorry . . . shut up, sir.”

“Thank you.”

“Are they all through with her?” Molly said.

“The coroner? No, this is a preliminary report. They’re still poking around.”

“Ick,” Molly said.

“Cops don’t say ‘ick.’ ”

Molly laughed and leaned over the desk and kissed Jesse on the forehead.

“Do cops do that?” Molly said.

“Oh yeah,” Jesse said, “most of them.”

The phone rang again and Molly answered, “Paradise Police,” while Jesse took the coroner’s report back to his office.

2 4

5

D ix always looked so clean, Jesse thought. His white shirts were always brilliant white.

His head gleamed as if he had just shaved it, and his face glistened with aftershave.

“Jenn asked me the other day if it bothered me about her being with other men.”

Dix nodded. He sat with his elbows on the arms of his chair, his hands clasped chest high. They were big square competent hands.

“I said it did.”

“You wanna talk about that?” Dix said.

“Yes.”

R O B E R T B . P A R K E R

“Whaddya want to say?”

“I, well, I mean I hate it,” Jesse said. “But that doesn’t seem too weird.”

“Hate it that she was with other men?”

“Them having sex,” Jesse said.

Dix nodded. Neither of them said anything. Dix’s desk was completely empty except for a phone and a calendar pad.

His degrees were on the wall, and there was a couch, which Jesse had never used, against the wall behind him.

“Does it bother you to think of them talking intimately, laughing together, sharing a joke, enjoying a meal, watching a ball game?”

“Sure. Isn’t it, to use a nice shrink word, appropriate, to be jealous when your wife’s cheating on you?” Jesse said.

“It is certainly human,” Dix said. “Is it with the same in-tensity that you think of her having sex?”

“No.”

“Is she cheating on you now?”

“No. Right now we’re good.”

“So?” Dix said.

Jesse started to speak and stopped and sat. Dix was quiet.

“I can’t seem to let it go,” Jesse said.

“What part can’t you let go of?” Dix said.

“Her having sex. I think about it. I imagine it. I can’t get rid of it when I’m with her.”

Dix waited, his head cocked slightly. Jesse was staring at his hands, which were clasped in front of him. After a time he looked up at Dix.

2 6

S E A C H A N G E

“It’s like, almost, like I maybe don’t want to let it go.”

Dix’s face changed just enough for Jesse to see that he approved of the direction the conversation was taking.

“What the hell do I get out of it?” Jesse said.

“Something,” Dix said. “Or you’d let it go.”

“Yes.”

Again they were silent. The hushed whir of the air conditioning was the only sound in the office. It was hard to imagine Dix being hot, or tired, or puzzled, Jesse thought. No one could put up with silence like Dix could. It was like his natural element. Jesse felt winded. He took in another big breath.

“You went out with a lot of other women after your separation and divorce,” Dix said.

“Sure.”

“Did you imagine them with other men?”

“Not really,” Jesse said. “I love Jenn. I liked everyone I slept with. But I never loved them the way I love Jenn.”

“Therefore?” Dix said.

“Therefore I didn’t care who else they’d slept with,” Jesse said.

“Excuse the cliché,” Dix said. “But isn’t that more about you, about how you felt, than it is about Jenn or the other women?”

Jesse looked blankly at Dix for a moment.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” Jesse said.

“You’re human,” Dix said. “A common ailment.”

2 7

6

W hen Jesse got back to the station Jenn was in his office, sitting at his desk with the swivel chair tilted back, her legs

crossed under her short skirt, showing a lot of thigh. Jesse felt the little pinch of desire in his stomach. He always felt it when he saw her. It was so consistently a part of being with her that he just thought of it as part of the nature of things.

He had always assumed it was what everyone felt when they looked at the person they loved. Why worry about it now?

Was he looking for something to worry about?

“Oh Jesse,” she said. “I have great news. They’re doing an S E A C H A N G E

hour-long special at the station on Race Week. And I’m going to be the on-camera host and do the voiceover, too.”

“Wow,” Jesse said.

“It’s not just some feature for the six o’clock news,” she said. “It’s a full-hour feature and the company plans to syn-dicate it.”

“That’s great, Jenn.”

“I’ll be here every day with the crew. I’ll have input. Jesse, this is a really big break for me. We’re owned by Allied Broadcasting, and they have stations in most of the major markets.”

Jesse went around the desk and bent over and kissed her.