Senior Year Box Set

“Come on. You’ve known him your whole life. Johan is one of the nicest guys I know. I can see the two of you together.”

“That’s part of the problem. We know just about everything about each other.”

“I understand; someone new can seem exciting. There’s all that mystery of who they are and the fun of discovering new things about each other. That doesn’t mean they’re better. Yes, you think you know everything about Johan, but I would bet he can surprise you. The key is, you know that deep down, he’s a good guy.

“I wanted my best friend Tami to be my girlfriend. She kept pushing it off to a mythical ‘someday.’ Now, I don’t know that we’ll ever be together. A part of me hopes so, but now she’s dating my best friend, and I’m in love with Brook. Only you can say whether Johan might be the one you’re meant to be with. I would recommend that if you suspect he might be, don’t overthink it.”

She bit her bottom lip.

“You love Brook?” she asked.

“Yes.”

She just nodded and stared off into space for a moment.

“What does she have that I don’t?” Zoe asked.

What do you say to that? I suddenly felt like I was dancing with the devil. No matter what I said, it would be wrong, but Zoe didn’t deserve for me to just brush it off.

“Comparison is a joy-stealer. It’s a bottomless pit of self-doubt and self-deprecation. You need to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not less sexy, less lovable, or less anything else. I think it’s telling that I’m here when I need to talk about something I consider serious. You’re my anchor.”

“Then why did you choose her? If I’m the one you feel you can share serious stuff with, why aren’t we together?” Zoe asked.

“That same argument could be made for Pam, Halle, Beth, or even Tracy,” I said, and saw her frown. “You represent a lot of what I find important. Eventually, I want to have a large family. I have strong religious beliefs, and I can see someday living on a farm. There are times when I wish that was the life I was destined to have.”

“You could have all that with me.”

I could see the start of tears. I pulled her to me and gave her a hug.

“Zoe, I care for you more than you may even realize. When I decided to have a girlfriend, I recognized what I was giving up. I could’ve just kept the status quo, but that wouldn’t have been fair to you or any of the others, especially Brook. Believe me, I didn’t have reasons why anyone was better than someone else. It simply came down to my heart.

“I realize that isn’t what you want to hear. If I told you it was for some arbitrary reason, you would fixate on trying to make yourself better in that area. I can’t emphasize this enough: you are perfect just as you are,” I tried.

She gave me a weak smile.

“I was prepared to be mad at you,” she admitted. “Dang it, David. You should have picked me.”

I was smart enough not to say anything.

We mounted the horses and rode back to the farm. My grandmother saw me and made me promise to stop by before going home.

◊◊◊

“You don’t visit,” Grandma Dawson complained.

“What is it with women today? They all want a piece of me.”

“Better than the alternative.”

She was right about that. She took me into the house where Yelena, Yuri’s grandmother, was cooking dinner. I sent a text to my dad to tell him I was having dinner here. He sent one back, asking if they could come too.

“Dad wants to join us for dinner.”

“We have plenty. I just go kill another goat,” Yelena said and began to sharpen a knife.

“Is she serious?” I asked my grandma.

“No, she’s teasing you. Tell your dad to come.”

Having a family dinner at my grandma’s was nice. Duke came with and had to check out the farm to make sure everything was the same as it was when he was here last. Coby and Little David were with my parents so that Peggy could have a night off. There were no worries they wouldn’t get a lot of attention with two grandmothers spoiling them.

◊◊◊ Wednesday September 21

Brook and Cassidy were still going to the dojo, so I planned an afternoon with Tim and Wolf. One of Wolf’s neighbors needed a hand with a project, and he and Tim had volunteered to help. I came home to find my mom in the kitchen. Peggy had school late on Wednesday, so the boys were in daycare. I’d let Duke out so he could patrol the backyard.

“Slow day?” I asked as I made myself a sandwich.

“No, I have something for you,” she said, handing me an envelope.

I looked inside, and there was a check for five hundred dollars made out to my personal company.

“What’s that for?” I asked.

“I closed on that house you shot the pictures and video of. It had your name in the credits. Word spread that David A. Dawson, actor-slash-model-slash-photographer, had done it, and I had realtors clamoring to show it. I told the homeowners, and they insisted on paying you.”

“Cool,” was my naïve response.

“I just got a new listing, and they want you to do the photos and the video.”

My expression must have told her that I wasn’t excited about it.