NATALIE
Don’t you dare tell me that! (HERZEN
(SAZONOV
God … what happened?HERZEN
They got rammed by another boat. A hundred people drowned. (AUGUST 1852
BAKUNIN
Where are we off to? Who’s got the map?HERZEN
Michael? Are you dead?BAKUNIN
No.HERZEN
That’s good. I was just thinking about you, and there you are, how very … un-odd!—yes, looking just like you looked when I saw you off in the rain on the tender to Kronstadt where the steamer was waiting. Do you remember?BAKUNIN
You were the only one who came to see me off.HERZEN
And now you’re the only one who’s come to seeBAKUNIN
Where are you going?HERZEN
England.BAKUNIN
Alone?HERZEN
Natalie died three months ago … We lost Kolya. He was drowned at sea, my mother with him, and a young man who was teaching Kolya to speak. None of them was ever found. It finished my Natalie. She was expecting another baby, and when it came, she had no strength left. The baby died, too.BAKUNIN
My poor friend.HERZEN
Oh, Michael, you should have heard Kolya talk! He had such a funny, charming way … and he understood everything you said, you’d swear he was listening! The thing I can’t bear … (BAKUNIN
Little Kolya, his life cut so short! Who is this Moloch …?HERZEN
No, no, not at all! His life was what it was. Because children grow up, we think a child’s purpose is to grow up. But a child’s purpose is to be a child. Nature doesn’t disdain what lives only for aBAKUNIN No.
I ran out of revolutions. When the soldiers caught up with me, I was too tired to care. I only wanted to sleep. I had plenty of time to sleep after that … nine months in fetters in the fortress of Königstein, and when the Germans had done with me, as long againin Prague Castle. Thank you for the money you sent. I was allowed to order cigars and books. I learned English! (HERZEN
You’ve become a myth. I heard that society ladies were collecting funds for a rescue attempt.BAKUNIN
Word must have got back to Russia—there were twenty Cossacks waiting at the border to escort me to the Peter and Paul Fortress. No, it’s up to the revolution now.HERZEN
What revolution?BAKUNIN
The Russian revolution. It can’t be long coming now. Our Westerniser friends at home were waiting for a Russian bourgeoisie to make a revolution for their children, but—don’t you see?—not having a bourgeoisie is Russia’s good fortune!HERZEN
Don’t tell me, tell them.