Six Cats A Slayin'

I put away the leftovers while Haskell loaded the dishwasher. We chatted in desultory fashion as we worked. By tacit agreement, it seemed, we avoided further discussion of Gerry Albritton. Frankly, I was tired of the subject.

My respite from my irritating neighbor didn’t last long, however. Stewart and Dante returned after a few minutes. As he entered the kitchen, Stewart brandished a piece of paper.

“Wait till you see this flyer, Charlie. It was stuck to the front door,” he said. “I spotted them at several houses up and down the street.”

I took the flyer, which was the size of a regular piece of copier paper, and scanned the contents. I began to read aloud.

“Tired of mortgage payments? Fed up with costly repairs? Ready to downsize and move? We buy houses, no questions asked, no inspections required, at good prices. Give us a call, and let’s do business.”

I looked at Helen Louise. “The contact information is for Geraldine Albritton’s real estate office.”

“What on earth is she up to?” Helen Louise frowned. “Is she trying to buy up the whole neighborhood?”

SEVEN

“She’s certainly not going to buy this house.” I crumpled the flyer with both hands before discarding it in the trash bin under the sink. Having done so, I shut the cabinet door a little more forcefully than necessary. I wasn’t sure why the flyer made me angry, but that was how I felt.

Diesel, evidently alarmed by my tone, sat up and began to meow. I called him to me and began to stroke his back when he stopped and leaned against my legs. Dante was in Stewart’s lap, whining because he wanted to play with the cat. Stewart kept him firmly in place.

“Everything’s all right, boy.” I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself, and Diesel relaxed under my touch.

“No doubt it’s standard business practice with her,” Helen Louise said. “Although she seems to have come out of nowhere. I certainly hadn’t heard of her or her real estate business before.”

“I hadn’t, either,” Stewart said, and Haskell shrugged. “Not something I pay much attention to,” he said.

“I wonder where the money is coming from.” I resumed my seat at the table, and the cat settled down by my legs. “Surely it takes substantial capital to go around buying houses. What if several people all want to sell at the same time? That would run into hundreds of thousands of dollars.”

“She either has amazingly good credit,” Helen Louise said, “or she has big cash reserves.”

“Or someone putting up the money for her,” Stewart said. “It’s strange that no one seems to know where she came from. She basically popped up like a mushroom after a good long rain.”

“She’s definitely an enigma.” I shrugged.

Stewart laughed. “I’m looking forward to this Christmas bash of hers even more now. No telling what might happen.”

As if they had heard Stewart’s last few words and considered them an invitation, the five kittens came running and tumbling into the kitchen. Ramses was in the lead, and George brought up the rear. Diesel jumped up from beside my legs and darted toward the playful youngsters. Dante jumped out of his master’s lap, the leash still attached to his collar, before Stewart realized what the dog was doing. The poodle joined the melee on the floor, barking excitedly while Diesel batted at kittens in an attempt to stop their antics. Two of the kittens seized sections of the leash in their mouths and began to chew.

Laughing, Stewart hastened to catch Dante and free the leash from sharp kitten teeth. Haskell and Helen Louise were also laughing as they both got up to help. They grabbed a kitten in each hand, and that left Ramses rolling and scrambling as Diesel continued to bat at him. I scooped up Ramses and brought his face near mine. He purred, and I could have sworn he tried to smile. He certainly looked smug for having led the charge, as it were.

Diesel seemed to sag with relief now that the junior set had been caught, and he stretched out on the floor. The kittens had worn him out.

“What do we do with them now that we’ve caught them?” Helen Louise held up Fred and George and grinned.

“Take them home with you,” I said promptly.

Helen Louise shot me a look that I had no difficulty interpreting. I chuckled. “I guess not.”

Haskell held Marlowe and Bastet close to his chest. “Unless you want them roaming free all night, you’re going to have to put them in a smaller room.”

“You’re right,” I said. “If it weren’t so chilly tonight, I’d put them on the porch, and they could ramble to their hearts’ content.” I thought for a moment. “The downstairs bathroom is too small for all five of them and their beds and litter boxes. I guess I’ll put them in one of the bathrooms upstairs for tonight.”

“Might as well do it now,” Haskell said. “How about the one in Laura’s old room?”

“That bathroom’s fine,” I said. Laura’s former bedroom was closest to mine upstairs.

“Y’all keep the kittens entertained.” Haskell turned over his two little monsters to his partner. “I’ll get the bathroom ready for them.”