The Gray House

The expression on Sheriff’s face was hard to describe. Ralph never imagined that he could be that shocked.

Where have you been for the last thirty minutes, you silly little man? How come you’re only now getting what we all have already understood and accepted?

“And unless you decide to reconsider, please make sure that the letter reaches the principal’s desk within twenty-four hours,” Godmother demanded. “We need to know definitively whether you are leaving or staying.”

“I am not about to resign this close to the end of the year!” Sheriff roared.

But he couldn’t quite put his usual bluster in it.

“In that case I will thank you to refrain from more empty threats in the future.”

Sheriff slumped sullenly on the windowsill. He looked like an irritated gargoyle that’s put on weight. Looking at him, Ralph even felt a twinge of compassion. He thought that if now Godmother were to tell Sheriff to get off the window and sit down on a chair properly, he would most likely capitulate.

Luckily Godmother was above petty gloating. It was obvious to everyone that Sheriff had been comprehensively defeated and his humiliation was to serve as a warning for anyone foolish enough to contemplate insubordination.

Godmother was now circling around Ralph.

“Let’s move on with the voting,” Shark prompted.

They moved on with the voting.

When Godmother’s suggestion secured a majority, Shark applauded briefly (Homer decided to join in but stumbled when he saw that no one else did) and then requested for the second suggestion to be revealed.

“I am trembling with anticipation,” he announced, rubbing his hands together.

“Look at him trembling,” Raptor muttered under his breath but perfectly audibly to Ralph. “I wonder how many times you two have rehearsed this.”

“Yes, the second part of the plan.” Godmother looked squarely at Ralph. “I propose that we remove from the House some or all persons whom we, after careful consideration, deem dangerous. Persons who are psychologically unstable, behaviorally maladjusted, and at the same time capable of influencing the rest of the student body.”

Ralph leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. There it was. Now it was his turn to protest and be cut down to size. Godmother was in for an unpleasant surprise.

“Ah!” Darling perked up slightly. “That’s interesting. So who are they, these dangerous, influential crazies? I am looking forward to the naming of names.”

Raptor, on the other hand, darkened.

“I vote no!” he said, jumping up. “This will only provoke them. We’ll get exactly what we’re trying to avoid, only earlier.”

“I vote yes,” Homer said. “A very reasonable and timely action.”

“I have a question.” Sheep dutifully raised her hand, like a student in class. “Are you planning to include girls on that list?”

“Certainly if you can think of a specific candidate,” Godmother said, fighting back a smile. “We would be happy to consider her.”

“God forbid,” Sheep squeaked. “I would never!”

“So we’re talking about boys, mostly?” Darling pressed on.

“Yes. The so-called Leaders.”

Raptor grabbed his head.

“I suggest we discuss Sphinx, from the Fourth,” Darling said. “Popular, influential, and clearly a disgusting character. A real pervert, if you ask me.”

“There are no unstable persons in my group,” Homer pronounced proudly. “I ask for the First to be excluded from this conversation.”

“Well . . .” Shark tried to make it look like he was weighing a decision. “This is against the rules, you understand. But the First really is an exemplary group. I am open to making an exception. So ordered. As for Sphinx . . .”

“He is not one of the Leaders,” Godmother prompted softly. “So he is not the object of the present discussion.”

“Precisely,” Shark rushed to agree. “He is far from the most influential figure, let’s not waste our time. Denied.”

Darling went into a pout.

“We are not debating the actual candidates yet, but the proposal itself,” Godmother said to her by way of consolation. “Two of us for it, one against . . .”

“Emphatically against,” Raptor put in.

“Two abstained,” Godmother went on without so much as a glance at Sheep and Sheriff. “And one more is . . .”

There was a pause.

“Against,” Ralph said.

Godmother nodded, satisfied, as if this was exactly what she had expected him to do. She then made another pause and when he failed to make use of it, continued.

“Two ayes, two nays, two abstentions. I am, naturally, voting yes, and our esteemed principal . . .”

She turned to Shark, and that’s when Ralph decided he’d had enough. He was tired of looking at Godmother, tired of listening to her, and disinclined to perform the rest of the lines she’d written for him in this play.

“Excuse me,” he said, getting up. “I still have some important things to do.”

Shark’s expression promised a coming storm.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he said. “What things could be more important than this meeting?”