The Gray House

“How come the nurses haven’t killed you yet?” Grasshopper said.

Ginger dismissed this with a wave of her hand.

“They are not allowed to touch me. They’re afraid.”

Death giggled and looked at the girl admiringly. “When they punish her, I get really sick. Right away. And I can’t get sick, or I’ll die. I can’t even risk getting upset. Like at all,” he said.

“Can’t do nothing about me,” Ginger said. “Death is their favoritest patient, they’re always fussing around him like crazy. And I’m his best friend. So they don’t bother me.”

Grasshopper finally understood why this room was such a mess, why Ginger was free to invite anyone she pleased, and why nobody had come in yet to check on what they were doing. The nurses’ proscriptions and rules had no power here. Being not long for this world certainly has its advantages, Grasshopper thought.

He spent the rest of the evening in this room. They dined on oranges. They played every board game they could dig out from under Death’s bed, and when it was time to return to their rooms they staged a pillow fight and upended the budgie’s cage. The feathers from the busted pillow floated in the air and settled down on the floor next to the chips, cards, and Monopoly money.

Grasshopper felt good. He liked both Death and Ginger, even though Ginger was on the bossy side and Death was too timid to ever go against her demands. As soon as Grasshopper reached his own room, dark and empty, he went straight to bed. This was the second happy night in a row that he’d spent inside the Sepulcher. Only one thing preyed on his mind. Wolf was still locked up somewhere, all alone.

The nurse was pointedly aloof the next morning.

“Jumping around all night, like a savage. In someone else’s room, too,” she ranted, pushing spoon after spoon of oatmeal into Grasshopper’s mouth. “Dinner, bedtime—all by the wayside. And the way you left that room! A regular pigsty. What a disgrace!”

Grasshopper swallowed dutifully and thought that no one was feeding Ginger in this fashion, and that Death was surely eating by himself too. Although to him they might be doing something else, something even more disgusting. The nurse kept grumbling and frowning and then suddenly froze, spoon in hand.

“Who, pray tell, showed you to the bathroom? Or didn’t you go at all? Held it in?”

“I did go,” Grasshopper said, surprised. “Ginger helped.”

The spoon dropped. Nurse Agatha upraised her hands and let out a very strange muffled yelp. Grasshopper was watching her with interest.

“You! A big boy! A girl helping you to . . . do it! Shame on you! The horror!”

Elk entered just in time to hear all about horror and shame.

“What happened?” he asked.

This infuriated the nurse even more.

“These children have not an ounce of modesty in them!”

Grasshopper stared sullenly at the oatmeal smeared on the covers.

“Why are you yelling like that? You help me all the time.”

Something went plop in the nurse’s throat.

“I am a woman!” she said. “And a nurse!”

“That’s even worse,” Grasshopper said.

Nurse Agatha stood up.

“All right, that’s enough! I am going to tell the doctor. It’s well past time we put an end to this nonsense. And you! A counselor! You should be ashamed for your charges!”

The door slammed, but Grasshopper was able to catch the beginning of a diatribe concerning good-for-nothing counselors like Elk. The end of it got lost in the distance. Elk used a napkin to scrape off the oatmeal and gave Grasshopper a sad look.

“Kid, I think you have terminally disappointed Nurse Agatha. You’re too forward.”

Grasshopper sighed.

“We turned off the lights so I wouldn’t feel weird. And she didn’t look at all. What’s so bad about it?”

“All right,” Elk said, rubbing his forehead. “The bit about the lights we’re going to keep to ourselves. Deal?”

“Deal. I won’t tell if you won’t,” Grasshopper said and then frowned. “Am I . . . perverted?”

“No,” Elk said irritably. “You’re normal. Are you going to eat this?”

Grasshopper made a face.

“I see,” Elk sighed. “I’m not making you.”

“Do they give Wolf the same thing?”

“They give everyone the same thing. Unless they’re on a special meal plan.”

“Can I go see him?”

“That’s a question for the head of the department, not me.”

“They’re going to tell him I’m perverted. And that I have no shame. They’re going to tell everyone, to make them think I’m disgusting.”

Elk was picking up and replacing the cutlery on the tray.

“Elk, listen,” Grasshopper said, trying to catch his eye. “Is Wolf not long for this world too?”

Elk’s face went red in splotches, and his eyes flashed angrily.

“That’s ridiculous! Who told you that?”

“Why wouldn’t they let him go, then?”

“He’s undergoing treatment.”

“This place is very bad for him,” Grasshopper said. “He can’t stay here any longer.”