The James Bond Anthology

Bond scratched the back of his head as if reflecting. Which he was – furiously. He knew that he hadn’t heard the full story. He also knew that it was odd, to say the least of it, for this man to hire a complete stranger to do this job for him. The job itself stood up, but only just. It made sense that Scaramanga would not want to hire a local man, an ex-policeman for instance, even if one could be found. Such a man might have friends in the hotel business who would be interested in the speculative side of the Negril development. And, of course, on the plus side, Bond would be achieving what he had never thought possible – he would have got right inside Scaramanga’s guard. Or would he? There was the strong smell of a trap. But, assuming that Bond had not, by some obscure bit of ill luck, been blown, he couldn’t for the life of him see what the trap could be. Well, clearly, he must make the gamble. In so many respects it was a chance in a million.

Bond lit a cigarette. He said, ‘I was only laughing at the idea of a man of your particular skills wanting protection. But it all sounds great fun. Of course I’ll come along. When do we start? I’ve got a car at the bottom of the road.’

Scaramanga thrust out an inside wrist and looked at a thin gold watch on a two-coloured gold bracelet. He said, ‘6.32. My car’ll be outside.’ He got up. ‘Let’s go. But don’t forget one thing, Mister Whoosis. I rile mighty easy. Get me?’

Bond said easily, ‘I saw how annoyed you got with those inoffensive birds.’ He stood up. ‘I don’t see any reason why either of us should get riled.’

Scaramanga said indifferently, ‘Okay, then.’ He walked to the back of the room and picked up his suitcase, new-looking but cheap, strode to the exit and clashed through the bead curtain and down the steps.

Bond went quickly over to the counter. ‘Goodbye, Tiffy. Hope I’ll be coming by again one day. If anyone should ask after me, say I’m at the Thunderbird Hotel at Bloody Bay.’

Tiffy reached out a hand and timidly touched his sleeve. ‘Go careful over there, Mister Mark. There’s gangster money in that place. And watch out for yourself.’ She jerked her head towards the exit: ‘That’s the worstest man I ever heard tell of.’ She leaned forward and whispered, ‘That’s a thousand pound worth of ganja he’s got in that bag. Rasta left it for him this morning. So I smelled the bag.’ She drew quickly back.

Bond said, ‘Thanks, Tiffy. See Mother Edna puts a good hex on him. I’ll tell you why some day. I hope.’Bye!’ He went quickly out and down into the street where a red Thunderbird convertible was waiting, its exhaust making a noise like an expensive motor-boat. The chauffeur was a Jamaican, smartly dressed, with a peaked cap. A red pennant on the wireless aerial said ‘The Thunderbird Hotel’ in gold. Scaramanga was sitting beside the chauffeur. He said impatiently, ‘Get in the back. Lift you down to your car. Then follow along. It gets a good road after a while.’

James Bond got into the car behind Scaramanga and wondered whether to shoot the man now, in the back of the head – the old Gestapo-K.G.B. point of puncture. A mixture of reasons prevented him – the itch of curiosity, an inbuilt dislike of cold murder, the feeling that this was not the predestined moment, the likelihood that he would have to murder the chauffeur also – these, combined with the softness of the night and the fact that the ‘Sound System’ was now playing a good recording of one of his favourites, ‘After You’ve Gone’, and that cicadas were singing from the lignum vitae

tree, said ‘No’. But at that moment, as the car coasted down Love Lane towards the bright mercury of the sea, James Bond knew that he was not only disobeying orders, or at best dodging them, he was also being a bloody fool.

7 | UN-REAL ESTATE

When he arrives at a place on a dark night, particularly in an alien land which he has never seen before – a strange house, perhaps, or an hotel – even the most alert man is assailed by the confused sensations of the meanest tourist.

James Bond more or less knew the map of Jamaica. He knew that the sea had always been close to him on his left and, as he followed the twin red glares of the leading car through an impressive entrance gate of wrought iron and up an avenue of young Royal palms, he heard the waves scrolling into a beach very close to his car. The fields of sugar cane would, he guessed from the approach, come close up against the new high wall that surrounded the Thunderbird property, and there was a slight smell of mangrove swamp coming down from below the high hills whose silhouette he had occasionally glimpsed under a scudding three-quarter moon on his right. But otherwise he had no clue to exactly where he was or what sort of place he was now approaching and, particularly for him, the sensation was an uncomfortable one.