The Secret Place

Another quick look at Houlihan. Shrug. ‘I’m not saying they did. I’m not saying they’d have, like, done anything with Groundskeeper Willy.’ Smirk curling the corners of Joanne’s mouth. ‘I’m just saying they’re freaks and I don’t know what they’d do. That’s all.’

She would’ve been delighted to play this game all day, drop hints like farts and mince away from the stink. I said, ‘Pick one thing to tell me about Chris. Whatever you think was most important.’

Joanne thought. Something unpleasant pulling at her top lip.

Said, right on cue, ‘I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying anything bad about him.’

Under-the-lashes look at me.

I leaned forward. Grave, intent, eyebrows down while I focused on the noble young girl who held the secret that could save the world. Deepest voice: ‘Joanne. I know you’re not the kind of person who speaks ill of the dead. But there are times when the truth matters more than kindness. This is one of those times.’

I could almost hear my own soundtrack rising. I felt Conway, at my shoulder, wanting to laugh.

Joanne took a deep breath. Gearing herself up to be brave, sacrifice her personal conscience on the altar of justice. The fake spread out, the whole thing felt fake, Chris Harper felt like someone I’d made up.

‘Chris,’ she said. Sigh. A little sad, a little pitying. ‘Poor Chris. For such a lovely guy, he had seriously crap taste.’

I said, ‘Do you mean Selena Wynne?’

‘Well. I wasn’t going to name names, but since you already know…’

I said, ‘Thing is, no one says they saw Chris and Selena doing anything couple-y. No kissing, no holding hands, not even going off on their own together. So what makes you think they were going out?’

Lashes fluttering. ‘I’d rather not say.’

‘Joanne, I understand that you’re trying to do the right thing, and I appreciate it. But I need you to tell me what you saw, or heard. All of it.’

Joanne liked watching me work hard. Liked knowing that what she had was worth all that. She pretended to think, running her tongue around her teeth, which did nothing for her looks. ‘OK,’ she said. ‘Chris liked girls to like him. You know what I mean? Like, he was always trying to get every girl in the room to be all over him. And all of a sudden, like overnight, he’s totally ignoring everyone except Selena Wynne. Who, I mean, I don’t want to be a B or anything but I’m just being honest because that’s who I am: she isn’t exactly anything special? She acts like she is, but I’m sorry, most people really aren’t into… you know.’ Joanne gave me a meaningful little smirk and mimed large with both hands. ‘I mean, hello? I thought maybe it was one of those stupid movie things where it’s all a bet to embarrass someone, because if it wasn’t, I could’ve literally cringed to death for Chris.’

‘That doesn’t say they were going out, though. Maybe he was into her, but she wasn’t having any of it.’

‘Um, I don’t think so? She’d have been, like, insanely lucky to get him. And anyway, Chris wasn’t the type to waste his time if he wasn’t getting anywhere. If you know what I mean.’

‘Why would they keep it a secret?’

‘Probably he didn’t want people knowing he was with that. I wouldn’t blame him.’

I said, ‘Is that why you don’t get on with Selena’s lot? Because she and Chris got together?’

Wrong move. That flare in Joanne’s eyes again, cold enough and violent enough that I nearly leaned back. ‘Um, excuse me? I didn’t exactly care if Chris Harper was into hippos. I thought it was hilarious, but apart from that, so not my problem.’

I did a string of fast humble nods: got it, been put in my place, won’t be a bold boy again. ‘Right. That makes sense. Then why do you not get on with them?’

‘Because there isn’t a law that we have to get on with everybody. Because I’m actually choosy about who I hang out with, and hippos and weirdos? Yeah, um, no thanks?’

Just some little bitch, exact same as the little bitches in my school, in every school. Ten a penny, cheap at half the price, cheap anywhere in this world. No reason why this should be the one that made me sick. ‘Got it,’ I said, grinning away like a lunatic.

Conway said, ‘You got a boyfriend?’

Joanne took her time. A beat – Did I hear something? – then a slow sweep of her head to Conway.

Conway smiled. Not nicely.

‘Excuse me, that’s my private life?’

Conway said, ‘I thought you were all about helping the investigation.’

‘I am. I just don’t see how my private life is the investigation’s business. Do you want to explain that?’

‘Nah,’ said Conway. ‘I can’t be arsed. Specially when I can just go over to Colm’s and find out.’

I spread on a double helping of concerned. Said, ‘I can’t imagine Joanne would make us do that, Detective. Especially since she knows that any information she’s got could be very valuable to us.’