The Sinners of Erspia

She nodded. Her flush turned deeper, became a blush.

Then she turned suddenly to confront him. “Have you been to confession today?"

His eyes dropped. He looked embarrassed.

“Oh, but you must go to confession every day!” Her eyes opened wide in dismay. “Nothing else can save you!"

“Well, I haven't!" With an almost savage movement he stepped towards her again. She tried to retreat but her back was to the sideboard. He put his hands behind her shoulders and buried his face in her hair.

“I didn't dare tell the priest what's on my mind,” he murmured. “You're so lovely, Histrina. You drive me mad. And I know you feel the same.” His hands were hot, and they started wandering down her back, massaging her buttocks, coming round and up to squeeze her breasts.

She pushed at him, but her arms felt weak. “No! Stop that, Hugger!"

Now his breathing was so deep that she knew he was depraved. But that was not what was worrying her. What was worrying her most was that her heart was beating so loudly that it pounded in her eardrums and filled the whole room. She felt sure that he could hear this pounding as clearly as she could, and the knowledge embarrassed her.

He growled something incoherent as he dragged her away from the sideboard and forced her down on the couch. She squealed and struggled, but for the moment she forgot to call on the Lord.

Then her gown came up and she knew she was bared to him. He was staring avidly at her naked loins, while the tide of desire that surged through her drove her wild.

“No!” she cried. “No! Oh Ormazd! Ormazd! Don't let it happen! Stop me from doing it!"

But she was doing it, for Hugger tore down his breeches, threw himself on her, and she felt him entering her. He went in with only a prick of pain, for she was wet with excitement, and soon a sort of motion began in which both of them were rocking to and fro and thrusting against one another. And it was the sweetest, most delicious thing she had ever imagined, which she could no more stop than she could have stopped the setting of the sun, for all that she wept the whole time and never ceased shrieking the name of Ormazd.

Then even that, the secret name of the Lord, became an agonised croak in her throat while an explosion of pure pleasure drenched her from top to toe.

They lay limply, but only for a short while—was it minutes or seconds? Their corrupted bodies had not finished sating themselves with each other. They started again, and this time it lasted longer, and the explosion when it came was of an even greater, more searing intensity.

They subsided. Histrina lay without an ounce of strength in her, whimpering with mortification.

She had done it! She had succumbed to the Evil One!

She sat up, drawing her knees to her chest and pulling her gown over herself as soon as Hugger got up from her. He rearranged his breeches. They looked at one another. Both were stricken.

A quavering groan escaped her lips.

Hugger slumped onto a chair near the table. He bowed his head. “You may as well know it,” he said woodenly. “Why I didn't go to confession today. I haven't been these three days past. I have abandoned the Good Lord. I have been won over by Ahriman."

She put her hand to her mouth. “You spoke his secret name!"

“Like all his true followers."

“But how could you let yourself—"

“The same way you have!” he said angrily. “This is how it happens!"

“You forced me—"

“No, I didn't. You lusted for it, and you gave way to that lust. You could have stopped me but for that."

He stood and paced the room, just as he had before throwing himself on her. “Three nights ago I knew I was lost to Ormazd. Yes, the priest told me to use his secret name to fight temptation. Did he tell you the same?"

She nodded dismally.

“It didn't work, did it? Well, they say nothing is certain while Ahriman performs his work in the world.

Ahriman won me."

“Didn't you fight him?"

“Of course!” Hugger's face blazed. “But when temptation gets stronger and stronger there comes a point where you want only bad thoughts. That's when Ahriman has you. You revel in what's bad. Good thoughts fade and seem silly. After that, there's no going back."

He stopped pacing and pulled her roughly up from the couch. “You too! You've done it now. There's no going back."

“We must try to find forgiveness!"

He shook his head wryly. “The priests won't help us with that. It would only encourage others. You know what will happen to us. We've fallen from grace and disobeyed the Lord's commandment. At the very least we'll be excommunicated and banished, perhaps imprisoned or even executed."

“Let's not let anyone know what we did! We can keep it secret."

“From Ormazd?” Hugger smiled. “Anyway, how do you suppose you can keep anything from the priests? They're experts. You'll be found out the next time you walk into a confessional."

“Then I don't know what we can do."

“There is only one thing. We must leave immediately, and never come back."

“Leave? But where can we go?"