When Darkness Loves Us

On the way back to the house, she saw Michael and Maggie’s home on the hill where once her dream house was to have stood. The sun was going down and lights were on. It looked so homey, so comfortable. As if they had a will of their own, her feet took her closer to the house. She saw the barn off to the side. Michael kept it all painted up nice. The tractor looked fairly new; the grounds were neat, the trees tall and picturesque. Close enough now to see through the window, Sally Ann kept the big tree in the front yard between her and the kitchen window. When she reached it, she leaned against it and tried to talk sense into herself. “What are you hoping to accomplish by spying on them?” Her conscience would not let her alone.

The temptation however, ruled her actions, and she peered around the tree and into the kitchen. There was Maggie. Fat as always. She didn’t want to see any more, but she couldn’t help herself. She stood next to the tree, eyes riveted on the warm little scene inside, and she was fantasizing that she was the one in there, making dinner for the babies and loving them all. She was so caught up that she didn’t hear Michael come up behind her until he spoke.

“Hello?”

Her face burned a bright red, and she was grateful for the fading light. “Oh, hello. I was, uh, just admiring your house.”

He looked at her carefully. “You’re Cora’s friend, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I was just out walking.”

“It’s getting late. I think you should be getting back.” His face softened. “Can I give you a lift?”

“Oh, well . . .” She smiled. “If it wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience. I am rather tired.”

“Not at all. Why don’t you come in and meet my wife while I get the keys to the truck.”

Sally Ann smiled inwardly. She felt devilish. She followed him to the door.

“Maggie? Honey, come meet a friend of your mom’s. She was out walking and got a little too tired, so I’m going to give her a lift back.” He turned to Sally. “I’ll be back in a minute.” He disappeared down the hall.

Maggie walked warily into the living room. Her tone was venomous. “What in the hell are you doing here?”

Sally Ann smiled. “Well, hello, Maggie. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? You’re looking well.”

“Don’t play cutsie with me, Sally Ann. If you tell Michael who you are, I’ll finish ruining your ugly face.”

Sally took a step toward her sister. “Maggie. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I just want to make a life for myself.”

“Then go make it somewhere else. You can’t do it here, and you can’t do it with us!” Maggie almost spit those last words, then turned on her heel and went back to the kitchen. Sally Ann sat down, put her face in her hands, and started to cry.

She felt Michael’s hand on her shoulder. “Are you all right, Mrs . . . Mrs . . . uh, I don’t even know your name—I’m sorry.”

“SALLY ANN HIXSON!” she wanted to scream in his face. She looked up at the concern in his face and started to cry harder. “Can’t . . .”

“Mrs. Cant? Maggie? Would you fetch a glass of water for Mrs. Cant, please?”

Sally Ann took the proffered glass of water and drank it down without looking at Maggie. She didn’t need to see the hate that was written all over her face; she could feel it emanating from her whole being. “Thank you very much. I’m feeling better now. Maybe we’d better go.”

She went straight to her room, past her mother sitting silently in the living room. The next morning she was gone.

8

“Clint? Clint, It’s Mommy. I’m back.” Sally Ann raced through the tunnel, holding tight to the wrist of the wailing child she was half dragging behind her. “Get up and walk or I’ll leave you here!” The child cried louder, trying desperately to keep up, hiccuping fear. “Clint!”

Her sense of navigation came back in a rush. She knew exactly where she was going. The tunnels were her old friends. The smell, the roughness beneath her shoes, the blessed darkness, all meant she was home. And at home she would find peace.

She felt empathy for the child trailing behind her. The initial blindness was an awesome, frightening thing. They ran through the first tunnel that wound around, then approached the huge cavern with Monster Lake. She tried to hush up the girl before they entered, and succeeded in lowering her screams to a whimper. Sally tried to suppress the terrible constriction she felt in her stomach as they entered the cave. They crossed the path between the lakes as quickly and quietly as possible. As soon as they were back into the comfortable tunnels, they took off running again.

“Jackie?” But even as she called, she knew Jackie was gone forever. “Clint! Come see what Mommy has brought you.” Out of breath, they slowed to a walk, and passed an auxiliary tunnel that had a dank and terrible smell to it. The well was at the end of this tunnel. She stopped and put her face up to Mary’s. “Smell that? You must never, never go near this place. The whole underworld is yours to play in, but you must return to the Home Cavern as soon as you get near that smell.”