Women are not unicorns

Another great advantage was his calmness and willingness to communicate. All October I was engaged in a strategic and systematic capture of his heart. In fact, I fell in love with myself all over again. Since I had no competitors, I was the only one who flashed before his eyes, so beautiful and sexy. Even if he wanted to find a replacement for me, it wasn’t easy, because he didn’t go anywhere except work, and there were only girls he didn’t know online. He understood that upon closer examination (communication) with these girls, in five years the same picture could begin, the same hysterics and bed problems. At forty years old, he was tired of this, and was not particularly eager to look for someone right now.

Although there was one woman, his partner, ten years older, attractive, divorced and terribly interested in Vladislav.

She probably wanted to take my place, but her dignity and some decency kept her from doing anything until we divorced. I saw her readiness, like a greyhound at the start of a fox hunt, but it was only an intention, not an attempt, for which I am grateful to her.

You know, I even once sent him a photo of our future children, taken in a special application, you know, for stupid women who suffer from nonsense. To which he only complained that I was really suffering from nonsense.

Then she invited me to go horseback riding, such a romantic walk outside the city. He said that he doesn’t like horses, they stink (this is not true, he had horses as a child, he just wanted to ruin my mood).

But I didn't give up.

I invited him to have lunch at a cafe, confessed my love, and said that I was ready to correct everything he said that would be required for the reunion.

He was silent.

I finished off:

— In the end, let's break it off completely. And we won’t get back together, we’ll just start again. Like completely different people. It's like we just met. Let's not continue, but finish and begin.

— It won’t work, it’s still too fresh in my memory.

"Oh my God!" — I thought — “What's fresh? Treason? So she wasn't there? Well, I didn’t want to work with you, and that’s it, the end of the world. You’re so vulnerable, it couldn’t be funnier.” — But she said it out loud.-

— Sorry. Forgive me please. How many more times do I have to apologize for you to forgive? I know myself, this will not happen again. I assure you, we can handle it, we can do it. Moreover, I know that you love me too. Just don't resist.

— I do not like.

— Okay, but you will love me, otherwise you wouldn’t allow me to make all these attempts.

“Make raids,” I would say. I literally attacked him, did not let him breathe in the wrong direction.

But I remembered one more trick.

I've been wondering all these weeks. A useful thing by the way, I tell you. I selected a number of objects in the environment and asked a question like “will we be together,” then I counted the windows on the house. An even number meant “no,” an odd number meant “yes.” Nine. Yeah. We will. This gave me confidence. But sometimes there were mistakes, and an even number came across; I did not accept a negative answer. Therefore, I reformulated the question and asked again until I received a positive answer.

This is wildly funny. You don't seem to believe in it, but you do it because it works.

And it’s not scary if it doesn’t work, because you yourself came up with this fortune telling and you can change the rules. So you keep guessing again until the universe itself agrees with you. And the closer time went to the end of October, the more positive responses I received. I think my eye learned before me to determine compositions of things or symbols with an odd number and gave them to me for fortune telling. And I perceived these as signs of fate.

Very funny and ridiculous, but it worked for me.

And finally, on the eve of Halloween, I asked my friend and part-time colleague if I should ask for sex with Vladislav, in case it would reunite us.

— Never. He will just get his and you will even lose what you have, you will stop communicating for a while. Now he allows you to be around so much because he wants to. And then there will be no hormones that contribute to this.

— And what to do?

— Wait. If he offers, refuse. Until you get back together, until he confesses his love again, do not allow intimacy. I tell you as a man, his hormones are now on your side. Use it.

— Fine. — I answered gloomily, but I didn’t like the answer.

What to expect? He will never give birth, it seems. And it can drop hormones into the palm of your hand. Oh, sorry, I haven’t expressed myself so rudely in a long time. What is it, am I wrong?

It was necessary to come up with a way to make him want me, and not masturbation, and as early as possible in order to achieve a positive resolution.

I went to his office. And as she was leaving, as if by chance, she said:

— I dream about the day when we will go to intimate boutiques and choose a negligee for me.

He grinned.

Do you know what happened in the evening?