“Carolyn, I know we’ve had a rough couple of years. And I admit that some of it was my fault. I’m really sorry for that, but I believe that we can put all that behind us now and start over. I’m willing to try if you are.” He reached a hand out to her.
Carolyn’s eyes widened, as she came out from behind her desk. “Who in the hell do you think you are?”
Stunned, he dropped his hand to his side.
“Do you really believe that you can inflict a life of hell on me and then just waltz in here with your pitiful excuse of an apology, and I’ll just come running into your arms?” Carolyn’s voice rose. “How convenient for you. Now that your life is in the gutter, you’ve finally found it in your heart to forgive me and start over.” Her words trembled with rage and hurt.
“I loved you, Warner. I loved you with all my heart, and you took that love and stomped all over it – all because of a situation you refused to understand, refused to forgive. And now you have the nerve to ask me for forgiveness.”
She took a step back from him. “You deliberately set out to hurt me. You didn’t make a mistake, like I did. Your betrayal was intentional, and designed specifically to humiliate me. And I’m supposed to forgive you? To trust you? Are you crazy?”
He winced. “Please. Carolyn. I couldn’t help myself. I’ll do anything you ask. Please, we need each other…”
“Shut up.” She pressed her hands to her ears. “I’ve heard enough. More than enough. Get out of my office. Get out.”
Warner slouched briefly against the doorframe, steadied himself, then staggered out of the room and back down the hallway. He needed another shot of Jack Daniels.
Carolyn folded into her chair, and turned to look at the now empty doorway. She didn’t know where the knowledge had come from, but suddenly she’d understood that she couldn’t give in to him. He needed to believe that their marriage was over. Otherwise, she’d always be a victim to his bidding.
Pulling her knees up to her chest, she hugged them tightly, as years of pent-up frustration overflowed with her tears. Carolyn didn’t know how long she sat there crying, but when she rose from her chair her legs were stiff and her knuckles white from tightly gripping her legs. She walked over to the window, staring without really seeing out across the lawn.
If he still loved her, then things would be different. But he’d never mentioned love, just need. Maybe she was destined to a life without love, but that didn’t mean she had to give up her ambitions. Damn him!
Their political lives were what mattered now – the only thing, that she could count on.
She picked up her note pad and reviewed her notes. Their national positioning was good, but only if they could retake the senatorial seat in the next election.
Carolyn thought again about Warner. She would help him resurrect his career, and, in doing so, she would facilitate her own goals of reform. It wasn’t the life she’d envisioned on her wedding day, but it was a life she understood and could be proud of. Compromise, she thought, life was about compromise.
Warner woke the next morning to the sound of pounding. He couldn’t tell if it came from inside or outside of his head. The pain in his temples throbbed, and his body responded as if he were underwater.
He opened his eyes, squinting to focus. Then he realized that the noise came from a downpour striking the living room windows, and that he was lying on the couch.
Memories flooded him, and the weight of failure crushed down upon his chest. He drew in a deep breath against the oppressive sensation.
Warner pushed himself up to a seated position when Carolyn walked into the room.
“You look awful,” she said.
Warner stared at her.
“Up to a conversation this morning, or are you too
His mind slogged through the alcohol induced cobwebs attempting to process her mood and intent.
She laughed ruefully.
If there were a chance she might change her mind, then he would speak to her no matter how bad he felt. “I’m fine.”
Carolyn approached him. She wore a thigh length cardigan, a cream turtleneck, and pleated, navy wool pants. Her hands were jammed into the pockets of her sweater.
Chanel No. 5 perfume wafted to him. He glanced at the window, hungry for fresh air. His ears rang, and he felt light headed. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Our divorce.”
Warner’s heart sank. “I was hoping you might reconsider.”
“We both know I can do fine on my own. I have a promising law career ahead of me, and you threw away your future.”
“Edmund will never allow this.” He stood, moving to her.
“Do you think your father really cares what happens to us now? He’ll be looking for another political horse to run. You’re out. We’re both out.”
“That’s why we need to stick together. We can do it without him. This time, it’ll be different. I’ll be different. I promise.”
“I may be a slow learner, but I’ve no wish to continue to play the fool.”