Capital Offense

Warner placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m really sorry for all I’ve done to you. If you’ll give me a chance. I promise to make it up. And – I’ll listen to you.”

“I don’t believe you.” Carolyn pulled away, resisting the tug on her heart, the instinct that urged her to surrender. “You don’t know how to listen. You’ve proven that.”

Encouraged by the soft expression that flashed briefly in her eyes, he continued. “Please. I’ll agree to anything.”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Come on. Carolyn. What do you really have to lose? We’re both at the bottom. Don’t give up now. Not now. Not when we can start fresh.”

She laughed wryly. “Start fresh?”

He leaned toward her, nodding.

She sat in the nearest chair, her hands still tucked into her sweater pockets. Uncertainty and fear rose in her throat, making her question her own plan. She shoved the feeling aside. This was about survival. In the courtroom, she fought to empower her clients with the courage to stand up for themselves – to face the truth. Until now, she hadn’t taken her own advice. She’d been the embodiment of everything she claimed to despise in other women – weak.

“If we’re going to make another senatorial run, I want all the facts.” Carolyn said. “I can deal with anything as long as I’m prepared. I don’t want any surprises derailing the next campaign. So, now’s your chance, tell it all. Can you handle that?” She braced herself.

“Are you sure?” Warner asked.

“If you want a fresh start, as you claim, then spill it.”

“Where do you want me to start?”

“At the beginning.”

His affair began shortly after he’d learned of her abortion. “I admit I wanted to hurt you. I hurt so much, myself. All I felt was rage and pain, day after day. I needed a distraction. I met her while flying to D.C.” Warner began to pace.

He met Carolyn’s gaze. “Her name’s Cindy. She’s a flight attendant. She’s based out of D.C, but spends a lot of time in Missouri. Her family’s here. She’s not what you’d think, she’s a friend. I hope you can understand this, but I felt lost. I needed someone to confide in, someone to love me.”

I wanted to love you, Carolyn thought. I wanted to be there for you. But she understood his pain. She glanced out the window, trying to contain her own pain. “Do you love this woman?” She looked back at him.

Warner stopped pacing and made his way to the couch. He swallowed hard, his face glowing gray in color, perspiration beading above his upper lip. She could see the muscles working in his jaw as he clenched his teeth.

His silence screamed at Carolyn.

“I don’t know.” He hesitated. “I guess not enough. I’m not willing to lose you over her. I’m not willing to toss away my career. Maybe that makes me a cold son of a bitch, but I’m trying to be honest.”

Warner slouched against the couch cushions. “You’re a beautiful woman. Carolyn. I mean that. But you have to understand, I was so devastated by the abortion I couldn’t… respond sexually to you. I wish I could but I can’t. I needed to find a release somewhere, to feel like a man again. I found it with Cindy.”

Carolyn nodded, choking back her own grief. Emotionally she didn’t want to understand, it hurt far too much. But intellectually his explanation made sense.

“I want to make this work. Please be honest with me. Have I ruined any chance of reconciliation?”

“I won’t deny that this hurts me – hurts horribly. But I can’t change it. If I could I would.” Carolyn took a deep breath and stood. “We both want the same things. I have dreams of reform and you have aspirations for the White House. We make a good team, professionally speaking. So, under my terms. I’ll continue our marriage.”

“What are your terms?”

“First, you’ll give up the other woman. I’m not willing to be humiliated any longer.”

Warner nodded.

“Second, I’m an equal partner. I direct your career, the campaigns, and help decide policy. If at any point, I don’t feel you’re living up to your end of the bargain – it’s finished. I walk. I’ll divorce you, and your political career will be over.” She didn’t need to tell him that as a successful prosecutor, she could pursue a lesser political career on her own.

“And lastly, your father is out. I never want to deal with, or even see, him again. In fact, I don’t even want his name mentioned in my presence.”

“Why?” he asked.

She couldn’t bring herself to answer him. “If you want this to work, you agree to my terms.”

“Fine, fine.” He held his palms in the air, as if to surrender. “Your terms, Carolyn.”

Right now, six years seemed like an eternity, but she knew the election would come all too soon. An election that Warner had better win, or they’d both suffer the consequences.

EIGHTEEN

May, 1993 – Jefferson City, Missouri