Edmund Bertram's Diary

Miss Crawford was too well -mannered to make a complaint but she looked perturbed, and remarked to Fanny, ‘I am not very sanguine as to our play, and I can tel Mr. Maddox that I shall shorten some of his speeches, and a great many of my own, before we rehearse together.’

I felt all the wrongness of it, that a lovely young woman like Miss Crawford should be obliged to act such a part, and, even worse, to act it with a stranger. I began to feel that anything would be better than to leave her to such a fate, and to wonder whether I should agree to play the part of Anhalt, after all.

Tuesday 4 October

I could not sleep, and turned the idea of the play over and over in my mind as I lay awake in my bed. Was it best to resist every effort to persuade me to take part in the play and expose Miss Crawford to the indignity of acting with a man she did not know; especial y in such a part, where the scenes were so warm; or should I save her from such a fate by taking the part myself? I was faced with a choice of two evils; and whilst it was the act of a responsible son to do the former, it was the act of a gentleman to do the latter.

I rose early, too restless to lie abed, and went out for a ride, but I was no nearer deciding what to do when I returned, and so I repaired to Fanny’s sitting-room at the top of the house. A tap on the door, a gentle ‘Come in,’ and I was inside the room, feeling better the moment I stepped over the threshold. The geraniums were still in bloom, their red heads looking bright and cheerful against the white windows, and the transparencies were glowing as the autumn sun shone through them, casting colored light on to the floor. And there was Fanny herself, the best sight of all, looking up from her book with her welcoming smile.

‘Can I speak with you, Fanny, for a few minutes?’ I asked.

‘Yes, certainly.’

‘I want to consult. I want your opinion.’

‘My opinion?’ she asked in surprise.

‘I do not know what to do.’

I sat down and then stood up again, walking about the room as I laid the matter before her.

‘I know no harm of Charles Maddox; but the excessive intimacy which must spring from his being admitted among us in this manner is highly objectionable, the more than intimacy — the familiarity. I cannot think of it with any patience; and it does appear to me an evil of such magnitude as must, if possible, be prevented. Do not you see it in the same light?’

‘Yes; but what can be done? Your brother is so determined. ’

‘There is but one thing to be done, Fanny. I must take Anhalt myself. I am well aware that nothing else will quiet Tom.’

Fanny did not answer me. I knew exactly what she was feeling, for I was feeling it myself.

‘After being known to oppose the scheme from the beginning, there is absurdity in the face of my joining them now, when they are exceeding their first plan in every respect,’ I said, ‘but I can think of no other alternative. Can you, Fanny?’

‘No,’ she admitted. ‘I am sorry for Miss Crawford. But I am more sorry to see you drawn in to do what you had resolved against.’

I did not like it myself, but I felt it must be.

‘As I am now, I have no influence, I can do nothing,’ I said. ‘I have offended them, and they will not hear me; but when I have put them in good-humor by this concession, I am not without hopes of persuading them to confine the representation within a much smaller circle than they are now in the high road for.’

I could tel she did not like it.

‘Give me your approbation, Fanny. I am not comfortable without it. If you are against me, I ought to distrust myself — and yet — but it is impossible to let Tom go on in this way, riding about the country in quest of anybody who can be persuaded to act. I thought you would have entered more into Miss Crawford’s feelings. She never appeared more amiable than in her behavior to you last night. It gave her a very strong claim on my goodwill.’

‘She was very kind, indeed, and I am glad to have her spared,’ said Fanny.

‘I knew you would think so,’ I said, much relieved to find she thought as I did. ‘And now, dear Fanny, I will not interrupt you any longer. You want to be reading. But I could not be easy till I had spoken to you, and come to a decision. Sleeping or waking, my head has been full of this matter all night. It is an evil, but I am certainly making it less than it might be. If Tom is up, I shall go to him directly and get it over, and when we meet at breakfast we shall be all In high good humor at the prospect of acting the fool together with such unanimity.’

I left her to her books and went down to breakfast, where I had the unpleasant task of telling Tom and Maria that I would take the part of Anhalt after all. They did not crow too loud, and, as I had hoped, were so pleased at my actions, that they agreed to limit the audience to Mrs. Rushworth and the Grants.