Katya & The Prince of Siam

The Winter Fair attended by his parents came and went, and their normal life of many engagements punctiliously fulfilled continued as before, but with a quality of underlying disquietude, felt most of all by their uncomprehending little son. He was told that soon Uncle Vanya would be coming from Peking but, first, in April, his mother retreated as usual to Hua Hin and here, where once she had been so happy, the last stages of the drama between her and her husband were conducted by means of long and tormented letters. At first it is clear that Katya struggled to come to terms with the new situation. She was accompanied by Mila, the Russian wife of Lek’s cousin, Thongrod, and no doubt her pragmatic countrywoman, only too aware that return to Russia was out of the question, would have counselled caution and reconciliation. Sometime in April Katya wrote to her husband:

 

‘As to your letter which greeted me on my arrival here, I have already told you how much your suggestion that you should meet Princess Chavalit secretly without my knowledge has hurt me. Your words to the effect that if I didn’t care so much I wouldn’t know when you visited her, have cut me to the quick. I can hardly bear to think about this idea. Apart from that, in your letter are several things which totally contradict the attitude expressed in all the letters I received in Japan and Canada. In those letters you described her as a young girl who was full of chatter and laughter, but in this recent letter you have described her as a young woman for whom you care deeply. Lek, please admit that what you write now is very different to what you wrote before.

Since being here my state of mind has returned to normal and I feel more like myself again and I don’t want to reopen the wound before Vanya arrives. All I want to say is that however hard I try I can’t understand your feelings both towards the princess and me. What is the truth? What you wrote to me when I was abroad, or what you have written to me now? The letters were written by the same person but the meaning is different. I no longer know what to believe and my heart is heavy. I can no longer understand human beings or their feelings however hard I try.

However, I promise that when I return to Bangkok I will not be as I was before I left. Being here alone I have had a chance to think everything over. At night under the beautiful moon I sit by the sea and calm my spirit. I reflect on my life since childhood. I have suffered before, but have always recovered and surely this time it will also pass. Thinking this way makes me feel better.’

 

A subsequent letter again saw her attempting to comprehend her husband’s changed feelings.

 

‘Dearest Lek