Lilian Jackson Braun - Cat 14 Who Wasn't There

"Cheaper, too," he boasted. At lunchtime, Carol said to him privately, "I feel terribly sorry for Melinda. My father was a surgeon, and even after thirty years in the operating room he was absolutely crushed if he lost a patient. So Irma's death was a terrible blow for Melinda, coming right on top of her father's suicide and the rumors about her mother's death. She has no immediate family now. She lost her only brother while she was in med school. She and Emory were only a year apart and grew up like twins.

His birth was a difficult one, and that's what started Mrs.

Goodwinter's decline in!-plete helplessness." Why is she telling me this family history? Qwilleran wondered.

"You know, Qwill, it's none of my business, but I wish you and Melinda had gotten together. You always say you're not good husband material, but the right woman makes a difference, and you don't know what you're missing by not having children. Forgive me for saying so." "No offense," he said, but he suspected that Melinda had coached her.

"All aboard!" came the commanding voice of their leader. The mild-mannered Larry Lanspeak could project like King Lear on the stormy moor. During the afternoon drive through Glencoe, with its wild and rugged mountain scenery, Lyle entertained the passengers with the story of the Glencoe Massacre in the late 1600's.

"King James had fled," he began, "and the Scottish chieftains were forced to pledge allegiance to William of Orange--by a certain date.

There was one chief who missed the deadline: Macdonald of Glencoe. When his oath finally arrived at government headquarters--late--a high official suppressed it and gave orders to exterminate the clan. A Captain Campbell was dispatched to the glen with 128 soldiers, and they lived there for a while on friendly terms with the Macdonalds, presumably accepting the chief's hospitality. Suddenly, one day at dawn, the treacherous attack took place. Campbell's men put more than forty members of the clan to the sword, including women, children, and servants... I never trust a Campbell," Lyle concluded.

"Don't forget, dear," said his wife, "you married one." "That's what I mean. They make great apple pie, but I don't trust 'em." Then he went on.

"The order for the attack was supposedly written on a playing card, and ever since that time, the nine of diamonds has been called the Curse of Scotland." That night they checked into a rustic inn that had been a private hunting and fishing lodge in the days when upper-class sportsmen came up from London for grouse-shooting and fly-casting.

The Bonnie Scots group entered through massive oak doors, iron strapped and green with mold, and walked into a lobby hung with hunting trophies. An ancient leather-bound journal recorded the names of sporting notables who had bagged 86 grouse and 33 pheasant on a certain weekend in 1838. Larry picked up the room keys and distributed them.

"Hey, look! We have locks on our doors!" he announced.

"We're back in the civilized world!" Then, while the other men unloaded the bus, he telephoned the previous inn to inquire about the missing driver. There was still no clue to his defection. When the luggage was marshaled in the center of the lobby, Bushy announced, "Grab your own bags, folks, and if you can't lug 'em upstairs yourself, we'll help you." Piece by piece the luggage was identified and removed.

"Where's mine?" Mrs. Utley demanded.

"You left it on the bus!" A quick check proved that the baggage bin was empty. Qwilleran said, "Are you sure you placed it outside your room this morning, Mrs. Utley?" "My sister took care of it while I was in the shower! Where is she?

Somebody go and get her! Bring her down here!" The shy Zella, acting as if under arrest and stammering in self-defense, insisted she had put the bags in the hall along with her own suitcase. Hers had arrived safely.

"I always packed for Grace while she was dressing," she explained in a tremulous voice.

"I brought up the jewel cases from the safe and packed them. Then I stayed in the hall with the luggage until it was picked up." "And Bruce picked it up?" Qwilleran asked.

"I saw him." He exchanged knowing glances with Bushy, who was now official baggage handler as well as official photographer.

"They've been stolen!" Mrs. Utley screamed.

"That man! That driver! He stole them! That's why he ran off!

Somebody picked him up in a car! I saw them speed away from the inn!" Other members of the group, hearing the commotion, came down to the lobby, and the hysterical Mrs. Utley was assisted to her room.

"Does anyone have a tranquilizer for the poor woman?" Carol asked.