Lilian Jackson Braun - Cat 14 Who Wasn't There

"One of these days he'll meet the right girl, and he'll become a famous brain surgeon.

I've seen it happen." He ordered dry sherry for Polly and, for himself, a local product called Squunk water--from a flowing well in Squunk Corners. He always drank it on the rocks with a twist. Polly raised her glass.

"Slainte!" "Ditto," Qwilleran said.

"What does it mean?" "I don't know exactly. It's a toast in Gaelic that Irma Hasselrich always uses." Polly often quoted her new friend.

Personally, Qwilleran had his doubts about Irma Hasselrich. In her forties, she still lived at home with her parents, her father being senior partner in the law firm of Hasselrich, Bennett and Barter.

She was the chief volunteer at the Senior Care Facility, and Qwilleran had met her while interviewing an aged patient. At that time, he thought her a handsome woman. She had a Junoesque figure, a polished appearance, and a charming manner. Since Polly was spending the summer in England, he tried to take Irma to dinner, but his invitation was pointedly avoided. He was not accustomed to being rejected, and his reaction was distinctly negative. Recently the two women had discovered a mutual interest: They often went birdwatching with binoculars and notebooks on the banks of the Ittibittiwassee River or in the wetlands near Purple Point.

Furthermore, the well-groomed, well-dressed Irma was influencing Polly to wear brighter colors and touch up her graying hair.

"You're looking especially young and attractive tonight," he remarked as they sipped their aperitifs.

"Soon you'll be joining the Theatre Club and playing ingenue roles." "Not likely," she said with her musical laugh.

"But did you hear that the club is doing Macbeth in September?" "That's a surprise!" "Why? It's a highly dramatic play with witches, ghosts, swordplay, a sleepwalker, and some ghastly murders, and it has plenty to say about temptation, human failure, spiritual evil, and compulsive ambition." "But according to superstition, it brings bad luck to the company that stages it." "No one around here is aware of that, so don't enlighten them," Polly advised.

"Of course, it's almost certain that Larry will play the title role." "He'll have to grow a beard again. He won't like that.

Who's directing?" "A new man in town, Dwight Somers, who's taken a position with XYZ Enterprises. He's had theatre experience and is said to be very nice.

Auditions have been announced, and it's rumored that Dr. Melinda is going to read for Lady Macbeth." The Pickax library was a major listening post in the local grapevine.

Qwilleran wanted to ask: Have you seen Melinda? ... How does she look?

... They say she's changed a lot. He deemed it wise, however, not to exhibit that much interest, so he asked casually, "Would she be any good in that role?" "Quite possibly. I saw her at Dr. Hal's funeral and thought she was looking... much older. The Goodwinter face--long and narrow, you know--has a tendency to look haggard. It doesn't age well." They ordered jellied watercress consomme and grilled swordfish with pineapple-jalapeno salsa, and Qwilleran asked, "What's the surprise you have for me tonight?" "Well!" she began with evident relish.

"Irma and I had dinner one night while you were away, and we were talking about Scotland. She went to art school there and still has connections, whom she visits frequently.

I mentioned that I've always wanted to see Macbeth country, and that started a train of thought. Why not organize a group tour of Scottish Isles and Highlands, with a percentage of the tour cost going to the Senior Care Facility, tax deductible?" "Sounds okay.

Who'd manage it?" "Irma is plotting the itinerary, and she'll make the reservations and act as tour guide." "Is she experienced at handling group tours?" "No. But she's in charge of the volunteer program at the facility, and she's a natural leader, well organized, and certainly knowledgeable about Scotland, especially the Western Isles and Highlands." "How will you travel in Scotland?" "By chartered minibus. The Lanspeaks and the Comptons have signed up, and Irma and I will share a room. The price of the tour is based on double occupancy, but singles are available." Qwilleran said to himself, It's a good idea for Polly to leave the country until the prowler threat blows over.

"You'll like the Highlands. I spent my honeymoon there. As I recall, the food wasn't very good, but that was quite a long time ago, and when you're a newlywed, who cares? ... Would you like me to feed Bootsie while you're away?" She regarded him hopefully.

"We were thinking... that you might... join the tour." The suggestion caught him off-guard, and he stared into space for a few moments before answering.

"How long is the trip? I've never left the cats for more than a couple of days. Who'd take care of them?" "Is there someone you could trust to move into your barn for two weeks?

My sister-in-law is going to stay with Bootsie." Qwilleran stroked his moustache with uncertainty.

"I don't know.