Plot It Yourself

“I’m an officer of the law,” the man said, raising a hand to exhibit a medal. “Deputy Sheriff Putnam County.”

Everyone glared at everyone. “Tell Sergeant Stebbins,” I instructed the man, “that Archie Goodwin was here. It will please him.” I turned to her. “When I saw you ten days ago you said you wouldn’t talk, not a word, and evidently you haven’t changed your mind. But you also said you’d listen if I had come to make an offer. Okay, I have one.”

“What kind of an offer?”

“It’s just for you. I doubt if the deputy sheriff would be interested.”

When she looked straight at you her eyes seemed even closer together, and her little nose almost wasn’t there. “All right,” she said, I’ll listen.” She told the man, “You clear out of here and stay out.” She turned and headed for the house.

It was a procession across the meadow. First her, then the dog, then me; and what made it a procession was the deputy sheriff, who climbed the wall and tagged along behind, ten paces back of me. She didn’t look back until she reached the door of the house; then she saw him. He had stopped at my car and opened the door on the other side, the driver’s side. “That’s all right,” I told her, “let him inspect it. He needs something to do.” When she opened the door the dog trotted in, and I followed.

It was a bigger room than you would expect from the outside, and wasn’t bad at all. She said, “Sit down if you want to,” and went and deposited her 160 pounds on a long wicker bench. I pulled a chair around. “What kind of an offer?” she asked.

I sat, “I haven’t actually got it, Miss Porter. Nero Wolfe has it. If you’ll come with me to his house in New York he’ll tell you about it. It’s an offer to settle your claim against Amy Wynn.”

“An offer from her?”

“I don’t know all the details, but I think so.”

“Then you think wrong.”

“I often do. That’s just the impression I got. It could be that Mr Wolfe wants to make an offer on behalf of his client, the Joint Committee on Plagiarism of the National Association of Authors and Dramatists and the Book Publishers of America. But I think it’s from Amy Wynn.”

“You’re not very good at thinking. You’d better stop trying. I’m not going to New York to see Nero Wolfe. If he really has an offer and you don’t know what it is, call him on the phone and ask him. There’s the phone. Reverse the charges.”