Приключения английского языка

So you're the man I hear about!You're the one that's madeA whole lot of English oaths that sayYou're going to kill dialect!Let me get it straight, Mr. Charlie,For I don't quite understand –Are you going to kill all English dialects

Or just the Jamaican one?If you've examined the English Language,Then what makes you feel inferior whenit comes to dialects?If you can't sing 'Linstead Market'And 'Water come a me yeye'Then we have to stop singing 'Auld lang syne'And 'Comin through de rye'.

The language you are so proud of,Which you honor and respect –Poor Mr. Charlie, don't you see thatIt springs from dialects!They've tried to turn it into a languageFrom the fourteenth century –Five hundred years have passed and now

They've got more dialects than we do!You would have to kill the Lancashire,The Yorkshire, the Cockney,The broad Scotch and the Irish brogueBefore you start to kill me!You would have to get the Oxford BookOf English Verse and tearOut Chaucer, Burns, Lady Grizelle

And lots of Shakespeare!When you've finished killing 'wit' and 'humor',When you've killed 'variety',You will have to find a way to killOriginality!And how are you going to read those EnglishBooks there upon your shelf,'Cause if you drop an 'h' you mightHave to kill yourself!