Room: A Novel

• • •

On Sunday we’re having bagels for dinner, very chewy, with jelly and peanut butter as well. Ma takes her bagel out of her mouth and there’s a pointy thing stuck in it. “At last,” she says.

I pick it up, it’s all yellowy with dark brown bits. “Bad tooth?”

Ma nods. She’s feeling in the back of her mouth.

That’s so weird. “We could stick him back in, with flour glue, maybe.”

She shakes her head, grinning. “I’m glad it’s out, now it can’t hurt anymore.”

He was part of her a minute ago but now he’s not. Just a thing. “Hey, you know what, if you put him under your pillow a fairy will come in the night invisibly and turn him into money.”

“Not in here, sorry,” says Ma.

“Why not?”

“The tooth fairy doesn’t know about Room.” Her eyes are looking through the walls.

Outside has everything. Whenever I think of a thing now like skis or fireworks or islands or elevators or yo-yos, I have to remember they’re real, they’re actually happening in Outside all together. It makes my head tired. And people too, firefighters teachers burglars babies saints soccer players and all sorts, they’re all really in Outside. I’m not there, though, me and Ma, we’re the only ones not there. Are we still real?

After dinner Ma tells me Hansel and Gretel and How the Berlin Wall Fell Down and Rumpelstiltskin. I like when the queen has to guess the little man’s name or else he’ll take her baby away. “Are stories true?”

“Which ones?”

“The mermaid mother and Hansel and Gretel and all them.”

“Well,” says Ma, “not literally.”

“What’s—”

“They’re magic, they’re not about real people walking around today.”

“So they’re fake?”

“No, no. Stories are a different kind of true.”

My face is all scrunched up from trying to understand. “Is the Berlin Wall true?”

“Well, there was a wall, but it’s not there anymore.”

I’m so tired I’m going to rip in two like Rumpelstiltskin did at the end.

“Night-night,” says Ma, shutting the doors of Wardrobe, “sleep tight, don’t let the bugs bite.”

• • •

I didn’t think I was switched off but then Old Nick’s here all loud.

“But vitamins—” Ma is saying.

“Highway robbery.”

“You want us getting sick?”

“It’s a giant rip-off,” says Old Nick. “I saw this exposé one time, they all end up in the toilet.”

Who ends up in Toilet?

“It’s just that, if we had a better diet—”

“Oh, here we go. Whine, whine, whine. .” I can see him through the slats, he’s sitting on the edge of Bath.

Ma’s voice gets mad. “I bet we’re cheaper to keep than a dog. We don’t even need shoes.”

“You have no idea about the world of today. I mean, where do you think the money’s going to keep coming from?”

Nobody says anything. Then Ma. “What do you mean? Money in general, or—?”

“Six months.” His arms are folded, they’re huge. “Six months I’ve been laid off, and have you had to worry your pretty little head?” I can see Ma too, through the slats, she’s nearly beside him. “What happened?”

“Like it matters.”

“Are you looking for another job?”

They stare at each other.

“Are you in debt?” she asks. “How’re you going to—?”

“Shut your mouth.”

I don’t mean to but I’m so scared he’s going to hurt her again the sound just bursts out of my head.

Old Nick’s looking right at me, he takes a step and another and another and he knocks on the slats. I see his hand shadow. “Hey in there.” He’s talking to me. My chest’s going clang clang. I hug my knees and press my teeth together. I want to get under Blanket but I can’t, I can’t do anything.

“He’s asleep.” That’s Ma.

“She keep you in the closet all day as well as all night?”

The you is me. I wait for Ma to say no, but she doesn’t.

“Doesn’t seem natural.” I can see in his eyes, they’re all pale. Can he see me, am I turning to stone? What if he opens the door? I think I might—“I figure there must be something wrong,” he’s saying to Ma, “you’ve never let me get a good look since the day he was born. Poor little freak’s got two heads or something?”

Why he said that? I nearly want to put my one head out of Wardrobe, just to show him.

Ma’s there in front of the slats, I can see the knobs of her shoulder blades through her T-shirt. “He’s just shy.”

“He’s got no reason to be shy of me,” says Old Nick. “Never laid a hand on him.”

Why would he laid his hand on me?

“Bought him that fancy jeep, didn’t I? I know boys, I was one once. C’mon, Jack—”

He said my name.

“C’mon out and get your lollipop.”

A lollipop!

“Let’s just go to bed.” Ma’s voice is strange.

Old Nick does a kind of laugh. “I know what you need, missy.”

What Ma needs? Is it something on the list?

“Come on,” she says again.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?”

Lamp goes out.

But Ma doesn’t have a mother.

Bed’s loud, that’s him getting in.

I put Blanket over my head and press my ears so not to hear. I don’t want to count the creaks but I do.

• • •

When I wake up I’m still in Wardrobe and it’s totally dark.

I wonder if Old Nick is still here. And the lollipop?

The rule is, stay in Wardrobe till Ma comes for me.

I wonder what color the lollipop is. Are there colors in the dark?