Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors

And he stop the young guys from fighting. He’s got a look that says “Up your ass.” Most of the time he just flash that look and the guys, they calm down. Grown-ups, they know how far they can go. They make lots of threats. Except for Strangers, though, nobody gets hurt much. But real young guys, they don’t know the difference. After they get to a certain age they can hurt each other bad. I don’t want my kid hurt by some asshole who don’t know his own strength. Big Guy puts a stop to that.

And he takes care of me. The Big Guy—or Buddy, but I know the Big Guy put him up to it—sometimes goes ’round handing out food. Meat especially. Meat’s not so easy to come by. They always give me and the kid some. They give it mostly to the good-looking females, like me, to make sure we’ll come across. But I’d do it for free, anytime he wants. A lot of folks beg for more when they hand the food out. Not me. I don’t have to.

When the guys leave me alone, I spend all my time with my sister, my girlfriends, my grown-up daughter. We watch out for each other. We give each other respect. I’d be nowhere without them.

One time when I was young—before anybody fucked me except for play—I got fed up. I wasn’t getting no respect. I was off by myself taking a walk and I see this cute guy. He don’t see me. He’s a Stranger—you can tell right away—but he’s real cute. Then all of a sudden he’s gone. After, I keep thinking about him. Maybe all Strangers are as cute as him. Maybe Strangers gimme respect. So I go to check ’em out.

It’s a long walk and I don’t wanna run into our patrols. But I get there OK. Pretty soon I find a guy. A Stranger guy. I don’t think he’s the same one I seen the first time, but he’s real cute, too. I give him a look, and I can see he’s eager. There’s two females there, though, his kind, and they’re not happy to see me like he is. They come at me, yelling and scratching and biting, and I run back home. It’s a long way. When I get here, it don’t seem anybody notice I’m gone—except for Mom, of course. She gimme a big hug. I miss Mom.

Chapter 15

MORTIFYING REFLECTIONS

When he bethought him of the first beginning

of all things, he was filled with a yet more

overflowing charity, and would call the dumb

animals, howsoever small, by the names of

brother and sister, forasmuch as he recognized

in them the same origin as in himself.

ST. BONAVENTURA

The Life of St. Francis¹

We are astonished to see how slight and how

few are the differences, and how manifold and

how marked are the resemblances.

CHARLES BONNET

Contemplation de la Nature

(1781), on comparing apes and humans.²