Terrible Tsarinas

her last buffoons, thought it would be funny to show her a porcu-

pine in his hat — he had just captured it, alive; Elizabeth shrieked

with horror, fled to her tent, and gave orders for the insolent en-

tertainer to be tortured to death for the crime of “having fright-

ened Her Majesty.”1

These disproportionate reprisals were counterbalanced by

sudden exercises of religious devotion; she could be easily enraged

or spontaneously repentant. She would take it upon herself to

make pilgrimages, on foot, to various holy places, testing the lim-

its of her strength. She would stand for hours on end during

church services, and she observed fasts scrupulously, to the point

of sometimes fainting after leaving the table without having eaten

anything. The following day she would suffer from indigestion

while trying to make up for lost time. Her conduct was excessive

and unpredictable. She enjoyed surprising others and being sur-

prised, herself (only, not with porcupines). She was chaotic, odd,

and only half-civilized. She scorned fixed schedules, was as quick

to punish as to forget, fraternized with those of humble station

and sneered at the great. She had a habit of dropping in at the

kitchen to enjoy the smells of the simmering dishes. She would

laugh or shout unexpectedly, and gave those who knew her well

the impression of being an old-fashioned housewife whose taste

for French frills had not stifled her healthy Slavic rusticity.

In Peter the Great’s day, the courtiers had had to suffer

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Terrible Tsarinas

through “assemblies” convoked by the tsar in order to introduce

his subjects to Western customs. They were more like tedious

meetings of poorly-groomed aristocrats, condemned by the Re-

former to obey, to dissimulate and to show obeisance. Under

Anna Ivanovna, these assemblies had deteriorated into nests of

intrigue and worry. Unspoken fear was rampant, under the mask

of courtesy. The shadow of the devilish Bühren was on the prowl.

And now a princess who loved dressing up, dancing, and playing

games was insisting that they come to her palace purely for enjoy-

ment’s sake. Certainly, the Empress was known to have fits of

anger sometimes, or to come up with strange innovations, but all

her guests had to admit that, for the first time, the palace was suf-

fused with a blend of Russian good-naturedness and Parisian ele-

gance. Instead of being a chore, these visits to the temple of mon-

archy finally seemed to offer an occasion to enjoy oneself socially.

Not satisfied with organizing “new style” events at her own

many residences, Elizabeth obliged the greatest families of the

empire to host masked balls, in turn, under their own roofs. The

French ballet master de Landet taught everyone at court the

graceful moves of the minuet. He soon made the claim that, under

his direction, gallantry and civility were more in evidence along

the Neva than anywhere else in the world. The parties would

start at one mansion or another at 6:00 in the evening; dancing

and card-playing would go on until ten o’clock. Then the Em-

press, surrounded by certain favored individuals, would sit down

at table for supper; the other guests would eat standing up, elbow

to elbow, struggling to avoid dropping anything on their fancy

clothes. Once Her Majesty had downed her last mouthful, the

dancing would begin again; and it would go on until 2:00 in the

morning. To please in the leading lady, the menu would be both

abundant and refined. Her Majesty liked French cuisine and her

chefs (first Fornay, and then Füchs, an Alsatian) were paid 800

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An Autocrat at Work and Play

rubles per annum to make it a success at these great suppers.

Elizabeth’s admiration for Peter the Great stopped short of imitat-

ing his enthusiasm for enormous feasts and drink-to-death binges;

however, she did inherit his appreciation for the robust national

gastronomy. Her favorite dishes, aside from gala feasts, were blini,

kulebiaka and buckwheat kasha. At the solemn banquets of the

Leib-Kompania, which she would attend dressed as a captain of the

regiment, she would give the signal to drink by emptying large

glasses of vodka in one draught.

This penchant for rich food and strong drink conferred upon

Her Majesty a premature plumpness and annoying red blotches

on the cheeks. After eating and drinking her fill, she would allow

herself to nap for an hour or two. To facilitate this rest, a kind of

sleepy meditation, she employed the services of a few women who

would take turns sitting by her side, speaking softly and scratch-

ing the bottoms of her feet. Elizabeth Ivanovna Shuvalov, the sis-

ter of Her Majesty’s new lover Ivan Shuvalov, was a specialist in

this soporific tickling. She would hear all the tsarina’s confidences

during these foot-rubbing sessions, so that she began to be known

at the court as “the real Minister of Foreign Affairs.” When the

tsarina had finished resting, the foot-scratchers would give way to

the favorite of the moment. Sometimes that was Ivan Shuvalov,