The Compassionate Instinct

I say this with a bit of a smile, but I think it is a serious problem to confront, how we share the world’s resources equitably when we have an inequitable situation to begin with and a very powerful nation that is benefiting from the inequity—this may be a very large obstacle to achieving global compassion.

DALAI LAMA: (Translated.) One of the things that people can consider or have brought to their attention is the question of the sustainability of their current lifestyle. If we were to continue on this path of consumption, at this current level, how long could this last?

EKMAN: Some might think, “As long as it lasts for me and my children, why should I be concerned?” That is the problem, as I see it.

DALAI LAMA: Oh.

EKMAN: Matters are getting to the point where people are beginning to worry: “Maybe my children will have a burden if we do not change things now.” For example, America is mortgaging itself with a deficit that may be a burden to our children. I believe that we should recognize this as bad selfishness.

DALAI LAMA: Mm-hmm.

EKMAN: As a parent with children, I realize that if I give up a little bit of my standard of living, it will be better for my children and grandchildren. It will not benefit me, but if I make some reductions, it will benefit them. From a Buddhist view, giving up attachment—to material comfort or lifestyle or whatever—if accomplished freely, not begrudgingly, there will be psychological benefits in the state of the person’s mind as a consequence of this compassionate act.

DALAI LAMA: Yes.

EKMAN: So, it is the built-in compassion we have for our offspring that may help to save the world. It may be difficult to care about the children in Darfur, but worrying about my own children and grandchildren is easy. I better start reducing the inequity, for my own children’s sake. So, it is building on what is already there.

DALAI LAMA: Yes. That is how we start: family level. (Translated.) Part of the tension here may be arising from a fairly standard Western attitude for dealing with problems that you want to solve. The world has many problems, and the idea that all the problems can be solved is probably not very realistic. There were great teachers in the past, across many cultures, who have taught certain ways of being, but if you look carefully, it seems that none of these teachers premised their teaching on the assumption that everyone is going to listen or going to change themselves and follow them.

Similarly, Darwin expressed very powerful sentiments [about the need for the welfare of all sentient beings]. He probably did not expect that they would be achieved. (Ekman laughs.) He probably did not write them on the assumption that everybody was going to listen to him.

The same applies to us. Our responsibility is to try our best and do what we can. Then that will be a part of things that we may achieve. Ten people follow a practice—good. One hundred—better. A thousand—still better. Not all 6 billion.

EKMAN: Maybe over time.

DALAI LAMA: (Switching to English.) If the work is something that is worthwhile, then, regardless whether we can achieve it or not, make attempt. That is, I think, important. Courageous.

THE HEROINE WITH ONE THOUSAND FACES

Lisa Bennett

MY SONS WERE BOUNCING on their beds before bedtime when I pulled out a new hand-me-down pair of pajamas for my youngest son, Julian. The top was covered with a bright blue-and-pink image of Kim Possible, Disney’s teenage superhero.

Julian was thrilled. Aidan, my oldest, smiled indulgently: How could his little brother embrace a girl superhero? Then I reminded him that the pj’s were once his, ones he had pleaded for. He reddened and stopped bouncing. “They were?” he said. It’s true: Kim Possible, cheerleader and crime fighter, was once his hero.

But somewhere between the age of 3 and 8, all that changed, and the only form of hero for him now was a male one: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Han Solo, almost anyone of Star Wars fame—save, well, Princess Leia. When he and his best friend recently played a Star Wars computer game that required players to take on the role of Princess Leia, they laughed uncomfortably, as if partaking in something they’d best keep secret.