The Illuminatus! Trilogy

the Fat Jap Anti-Defamation League- for Women's Liberationists and others who have found good ideological reasons to object to the English language;

the Fraternal Order of Hate Groups- given to allegedly libertarian groups only if they have engaged in conspicuously authoritarian behavior and have developed a philosophical line proving that said behavior is actually libertarian. (That group which has found the best libertarian justification for opposing liberty receives the Annual William Buckley Memorial Award and joint membership in the St. Famine Society for War Against Evil.);

the First Evangelical and Reformed Rand, Branden, and Holy Gait Church-for those who are simultaneously rationalists and dogmatists;

the Part-of-the-Solution Vanguard Party- for any Supreme Servant of the People who has shown inordinate zeal in banishing most of the people as Parts-of-the-Problem.

Other aspects of Operation Mindfuck include:

Project Eagle. Day-glo posters have been printed which look like the old Eagle proclamation saying TO THE POLLS YE SONS OF FREEDOM. The new, improved Discordian posters, however, have one slight word change, and say cheerfully BURN THE POLLS YE SONS OF FREEDOM. Like the Old ones, they are posted in prominent places on election day.

Project Pan-Pontification. Since the Rev. Kirby Hensley founded the Universal Life Church and started ordaining everybody as a minister of the gospel, the Paratheo-Aname-tamystikhood of Eris Esoteric has decided to raise the stakes. They are now distributing cards stating:

THE BEARER OF THIS CARD IS A

GENUINE AND AUTHORIZED POPE

So Please

Treat Him Right

GOOD FOREVER

Genuine and authorized by the HOUSE OF

APOSTLES OF ERIS. Every man, woman and

child on Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope.

Members receive a handsome banner proclaiming

IN YOUR HEART YOU KNOW IT'S FLAT.

Similar cards, with "Him" replaced by "Her" and "Pope" by "Mome," are being prepared for Woman's Liberationists.

Project Graffito (and Project Bumpersticker). Anybody can participate by inventing a particularly Erisian slogan and seeing that it is given wide distribution. Examples: Your Local Police Are Armed and Dangerous; Legalize Free-Enterprise Murder: Why Should Governments Have All The Fun?; Smash the Government Postal Monopoly; If Voting Could Change the System, It Would Be Against the Law; etc.

Citizens Against Drug Abuse. This organization possesses elegant letterheads and is engaged in a campaign of encouraging Congressmen to outlaw catnip, a drug which some young people are smoking whenever marijuana is in short supply. The thought behind this project is that, the government having lost so much credibility due to its war against pot (a recent ELF survey showed that in some big cities a large portion of the under-25 population did not believe in any of the moon shots and assumed they were all faked somewhere in the American Desert), a campaign against this similar but more comical herb will destroy the last tattered shreds of faith in the men in Washington.

APPENDIX KAPH: THE ROSY DOUBLE-CROSS

Saul, Barney, Markoff Chancy, and Dillinger were all puzzled that a man like Carmel would bring a suitcase full of roses with him when fleeing to Lehman Cavern. Those who knew Carmel in Las Vegas were even more perplexed when this fact was made public. The first readers of this romance were not only puzzled and perplexed but petulant, since they knew Carmel had loaded his briefcase with Maldonado's money, not with roses.