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4. Crimes of Passion 1. Although these events received considerable press attention at the time they occurred, the people involved have returned to private life. Therefore, the names of the members of the two families and their personal acquaintances have been changed, along with their cities and state of residence. The following names are fictitious: Dylan Healy; Heather, Robert, Pauline, and Jason Kowalski; Laura and Tom Barton; June Smith; Jennifer Bordeaux; and Patrick. Of public figures, only the names of "Dylan Healy's" lawyer and the sentencing judge have been deleted. Press and court sources are in the author's possession, but notes corresponding to these sources have been omitted to prevent identification of the subjects. 2. Bob Trebilcock, "Child Molesters on the Internet: Are They in Your Home?" Redbook, April 1997. 3. Mary Douglas, Purity and Danger: An Analysis of the Concepts of Pollution and Taboo (London: Ark Paperbacks, 1984), 96. 4. Brownmiller, Against Our Will, 29. 5. Historically U.S. law has denied the right of certain people, such as slaves and married women, to say no, and others, such as the mentally disabled, to say yes to sex, marriage, or procreation. But our ideas of what sorts of people can't say yes or no to sex often compound each other. So a teenager who got pregnant in the 1920s, for instance, was often also dubbed feeble-minded, and a disproportionate number of the adolescents forcibly sterilized under eugenic policies were also black. Kristie Lindenmeyer, "Making Adolescence," paper presented at the International Conference on the History of Childhood, Ottawa, 1997. 6. Michael M. v. Superior Court of Sonoma County, 450 U.S. 464 (1981). 7. The volume of publicity and punishment given Mary Kay Letourneau, thirty-five, for her relationship with a thirteen-year-old student, whose baby she bore, is an indication of the rarity of such relationships and of statutory rape prosecutions in which the adult is female and the minor male. Letourneau lost her job and her children and went to jail. But the boy insisted he still loved her and was adamant that he was not a victim. "It hurts me, it makes me more angry when people give me their pity, because I don't need it," he told the local television station. "I'm fine." The two saw each other illicitly while she was on a leave from prison, and she became pregnant again. "Boy Says He and Teacher Planned Her Pregnancy," Seattle Post-Intelligencer, August 22, 1997, C1; "Schoolteacher Jailed for Rape Gives Birth to Another Child," New York Times, October 18, 1998. 8. While there are no hard facts about the sexual orientation of perpetrator or victim, anecdotal evidence suggests that these laws are being used more aggressively to prosecute consensual sex between men and teenage boys, taking over the role of antisodomy statutes, which by 1998 had been repealed in thirty states. Legislation prohibiting sex with minors, moreover, is often written more harshly against gay sex than straight. For instance, a 1996 California law compelling chemical or surgical castration for the second offense of engaging in sex with anyone under thirteen most severely penalizes the two acts commonly associated with homosexuality—anal intercourse and oral sex—but fails to mention heterosexual vaginal intercourse with girls. The prohibition against homosexual marriage affects gay teenage boys and girls as well, since youngsters can marry in most states at an earlier age than they are legally allowed to have unmarried sex. Bill Andriette, "Life Sentences," NAMBLA Bulletin, June 1994, 94-95; Carey Goldberg, "Rhode Island Moves to End Sodomy Ban," New York Times, May 10, 1998, 12; "RE: Sexual Relations with Minor," memo from Silverstein Langer Newburgh & Brady to Lambda Legal Defense Fund, February 4, 1998; Bill Andriette, "Barbarism California Style," Guide, October 1996, 9-10. 9. Kristin Anderson Moore, Anne K. Driscoll, and Laura Duberstein Lindberg, A Statistical Portrait of Adolescent Sex, Contraception, and Childbearing, pamphlet (Washington, D.C.: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 1998), 11, 13. 10. The characterizations of Dylan's condition come from his lawyer, Laura Barton, and Dylan himself. 11. Sharon G. Elstein and Noy Davis, "Sexual Relations between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls: Exploring the Legal and Social Responses," American Bar Association report, Washington, D.C., 1997, 26. 12. Elstein and Davis, "Sexual Relations between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls," 5. 13. Elstein and Davis, "Sexual Relations between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls," 26. 14. Lynn M. Phillips, "Recasting Consent: Agency and Victimization in Adult-Teen Relationships," in New Versions of Victims: Feminists Struggle with the Concept, ed. Sharon Lamb (New York: New York University Press, 1999), 93. A local Planned Parenthood chapter funded the study. 15. Mike A. Males, Scapegoat Generation: America's War on Adolescents (Monroe, Me.: Common Courage Press, 1996), 45-76. 16. Patricia Donovan, "Can Statutory Rape Laws Be Effective in Preventing Adolescent Pregnancy?" Family Planning Perspectives (January/February 1997). 17. Elizabeth Gleick, "Putting the Jail in Jailbait," Time, January 29, 1996, 33. 18. Mireya Navarro, "Teen-Age Mothers Viewed as Abused Prey of Older Men," New York Times, May 19, 1996. 19. Phillips, "Recasting Consent," 84. 20. Donovan, "Can Statutory Rape Laws Be Effective?" See also: "Issues in Brief: and the Welfare Reform, Marriage, and Sexual Behavior," Alan Guttmacher Institute report, 2000; Kristin Luker, Dubious Conceptions: The Politics of Teenage Pregnancy (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1996). 21. Although teen pregnancy rates have declined to their lowest levels since the 1970s, experts attribute the change not to any crackdown on adult-teen sex but to increased contraception use, particularly condoms and long-lasting implants, by teenage women. Ayesha Rook, "Teen Pregnancy Down to 1970s Levels," Youth Today, November 1998, 7. Mike Males, original discoverer of the connection between adult-teen sex and teen pregnancy, has reviewed California's records and expressed regrets to me that the data have been used so punitively. He also admits that any implication of a direct causal relationship might have been ill-advised on his part. Interviews 1998 and 1999. 22. Elstein and Davis, "Sexual Relations between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls," 11. 23. Matt Lait, "Orange County Teen Wedding Policy Raises Stir," Los Angeles Times, Orange County Edition, September 2, 1996, A1. Public-health researcher Laura Lindberg found that such liaisons are not as unstable as some may think. When she checked in with fifteen- to seventeen-year-old mothers with older partners thirty months after their babies' births, she found the couples were still close and still together. Laura Duberstein Lindberg et al., "Age Differences between Minors Who Give Birth and Their Adult Partners," Family Planning Perspectives 20 (March/April 1997): 20. 24. Brandon Bailey, "Teen Moms Question Governor's Proposal," San Jose Mercury News, January 14, 1996, 1B. 25. James Brooke, "An Old Law Chastises Pregnant Teen-Agers," New York Times, October 28, 1996, A10. 26. Mary E. Odem, Delinquent Daughters: Protecting and Policing Adolescent Female Sexuality in the United States, 1885-1920 (Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 1995), 5. 27. Like today, boys were afforded much greater license to play as they wished, especially if they were employed (though they also had to deliver their wages to the family cookie jar). Also like today, when a family did bring a son before the authorities on sex charges, it was usually for molesting younger sisters or stepsisters or, in a few cases, for suspected homosexuality. Odem, Delinquent Daughters, 178. Historian Ruth Alexander found similarly unsatisfactory outcomes for families in the cases she tracked from New York State in the 1930s and 1940s. When accusing parents found out that the mandatory sentence for sexual misconduct was three years, most were shocked. So while their girls were locked away in Bedford Hills, several hours' trip north of New York City, mothers inundated the wardens with letters pleading for reduced sentences and more humane treatment of their daughters. Interview with Alexander, July 1998. 28. Steven Schlossman and Stephanie Wallach, "The Crime of Precocious Sexuality: Female Juvenile Delinquency in the Progressive Era," Harvard Educational Review 48 (1978): 65-95. 29. Luker, Dubious Conceptions, 30, 212. 30. Interviews with Ricki Solinger and Ruth Alexander, July 1998. 31. Odem, Delinquent Daughters, 188. 32. The 1995 National Survey of Family Growth found that 43.1 percent of girls lost their virginity with a partner one to two years older, 26.8 percent with someone three to four years older, and 11.8 percent with a person five or more years older. The average teen girl's male lover is three years older than she. Moore, Driscoll, and Lindberg, "A Statistical Portrait of Adolescent Sex," 13. See also: Sharon Thompson, Going All the Way (New York: Hill and Wang, 1995), 217, 322. 33. Security classifications are in many cases similar to mandatory sentencing laws, which designate certain categories of crime (sex offenses and drug offenses among them) as more "dangerous," even if they are not more violent, than other crimes. 34. Divorce filings in author's possession. Not identified here to protect privacy. 35. National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect, Federal Register, part 2 (Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, January 23, 1978), 3244. 36. Frank Bruni, "In an Age of Consent, Defining Abuse by Adults," New York Times, November 9, 1997, "Week in Review," 3. 37. Allie C. Kilpatrick, Long-Range Effects of Child and Adolescent Sexual Experiences: Myths, Mores, Menaces (Hillsdale, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1992). 38. Kilpatrick, Long-Range Effects of Child and Adolescent Sexual Experiences, 58, 90. 39. Letter, NAMBLA Bulletin, June 1994. 40. William E. Prendergast, Sexual Abuse of Children and Adolescents (New York: Continuum Publishing Co., 1996), 26. 41. Bruce Rind and Philip Tromovitch, "A Meta-analytic review of findings from national samples on Psychological Correlates of Child Sexual Abuse," Journal of Sex Research (1997): 237-55. 42. Author interview with Lynn Phillips, January 1998. 43. Thompson, Going All the Way, 215-44. 44. I also asked the prominent sexologist and therapist Leonore Tiefer about these relationships. She said: "You have to take into account the subjectivity and the realm of experience of each individual young person. You can't explain this stuff with universals—with sociobiology or sociology. The power issues are not wiped out" by individual explanations, however; "they are complicated." Tiefer gave the example of Monica Lewinsky. "On one hand, you could say she's powerful: she got the leader of the free world to desire her. On the other, there is a certain powerlessness and displacement of ambition" onto the sexual conquest. 45. Phillips, "Recasting Consent," 87. 46. Martin J. Costello, Hating the Sin, Loving the Sinner: The Minneapolis Children's Theatre Company Adolescent Sexual Abuse Prosecutions (New York: Garland, 1991), 8-13. 47. Elstein and Davis, "Sexual Relations between Adult Men and Young Teen Girls," 19. 48. Most states allow youngsters to drive, and even to marry, before they may have unmarried sexual intercourse. In Massachusetts at this writing, a person can marry at twelve, but if someone who is not her husband inserts his finger into her vagina when she is fifteen, even with her express consent, he can be charged with statutory rape. Under a section of the state's legal code entitled "Crimes against Chastity, etc.," taking a picture of her naked seventeen-year-old buttocks will earn the photographer up to twenty years in prison. Massachusetts Family Law, Section 354 (1990); Massachusetts Criminal Law, Section 12: 16 (1992); Massachusetts General Laws, Section 373: 29A. 49. In 1993 in New Mexico it was thirteen; by 1998, it was seventeen; in Maine it went from fourteen to eighteen in the same years. "The Geography of Desire," Details (June 1993). See also Elstein and Davis, "Sexual Relations between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls." For a continual update of age of consent throughout the world, consult www.ageofconsent.com. 50. Males, Scapegoat Generation, 71. 51. David T. Evans, Sexual Citizenship: The Material Construction of Sexualities (London: Routledge, 1993), 215. 5. No-Sex Education 1. Joyce Purnick, "Where Chastity Is Not Virtuous," New York Times, May 25, 1981, A14. 2. My suspicion is the word abstinence migrated into sex ed from the hugely popular movement of twelve-step anti-"addiction" programs based on the model of Alcoholics Anonymous, which preached that only complete renunciation and daily recommitment could bring a bad habit under control. 3. Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education (New York: Sex Information and Education Council of the U.S., 1994), 1. 4. Social Security Act, Title V, Section 510 (1997), Maternal and Child Health Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. 5. David J. Landry, Lisa Kaeser, and Cory L. Richards, "Abstinence Promotion and the Provision of Information about Contraception in Public School District Sexuality Education Policies," Family Planning Perspectives 31, no. 6 (November/December 1999): 280-86; Kaiser Family Foundation, "Most Secondary Schools Take a More Comprehensive Approach to Sex Education," press release, December 14, 1999. 6. "Changes in Sexuality Education from 1988-1999," SEICUS, SHOP Talk Bulletin 5, no. 16 (October 13, 2000). 7. Diana Jean Schemo, "Survey Finds Parents Favor More Detailed Sex Education," New York Times, October 4, 2000, A1. 8. Joyce Purnick, "Welfare Bill: Legislating Morality?" New York Times

, August 19, 1996, "Metro Matters," B1. 9. Patricia Campbell, Sex Education Books for Young Adults 1892-1979 (New York: R. R. Bowker Co., 1979), viii. 10. F. Valentine, "Education in Sexual Subjects," New York Medical Journal 83 (1906): 276-78. 11. Benjamin C. Gruenberg, High Schools and Sex Education: A Manual of Suggestions of Education Related to Sex (Washington, D.C.: U.S. Public Health Service and U.S. Bureau of Education, 1922), 95. 12. Evelyn Duvall, Facts of Life and Love for Teenagers, as quoted in Campbell, Sex Education Books for Young Adults, 87. 13. Mary S. Calderone, "A Distinguished Doctor Talks to Vassar College Freshmen about Love and Sex," Redbook, February 1964 (reprint). 14. Sex Education: Conditioning for Immorality, filmstrip, John Birch Society, released around 1969 (n.d.). 15. Handman and Brennan, Sex Handbook, 170. 16. Sol Gordon, You: The Psychology of Surviving and Enhancing Your Social Life, Love Life, Sex Life, School Life, Home Life, Work Life, Emotional Life, Creative Life, Spiritual Life, Style of Life Life (New York: Times Books, 1975). 17. In 1972, worried that young single women's kids would end up on the dole, Congress required all welfare departments to offer birth control services to minors. The Supreme Court ruled in Carey v. Population Services International (1977) that teens had a privacy right to purchase contraception; in 1977 and 1979, when Congress reauthorized Title X of the Public Health Services Act of 1970, providing health care to the poor, it singled out adolescents as a specific group in need of contraceptive services. In 1978, partly in reaction to the Guttmacher Report, Senator Edward Kennedy's Adolescent Health Services and Pregnancy Prevention and Care Act set up the Office of Adolescent Pregnancy Programs at the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare (later Health and Human Services). Its mandate was to administer "comprehensive [reproductive] services" to teens (Luker, Dubious Conceptions, 69). On the books, the government seemed to care about the reproductive and social health of teenagers, but the budget belied real commitment. No new funds were slated for the younger Title X clients, who would number as many as half the visitors to some birth control clinics in coming years. The Kennedy program, proposed at fifty million dollars in the first year, got only one million dollars; in its third and final year, it reached just ten million dollars and extended grants to fewer than three dozen programs nationwide. 18. Guttmacher Report, quoted in Constance A. Nathanson, Dangerous Passages: The Social Control of Sexuality in Women's Adolescence (Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1991), 47. 19. The history of family planning and concomitant legislation before the Adolescent Family Life Act draws from Nathanson, Dangerous Passages; Rosalind Pollack Petchesky, Abortion and Women's Choice: The State, Sexuality, and Reproductive Freedom, rev. ed. (Boston: Northeastern University Press, 1990); and Luker, Dubious Conceptions, as well as interviews with birth control professionals, lawyers, and women's movement activists from the 1970s and 1980s. 20. Alan Guttmacher Institute, Sex and America's Teenagers (New York: the institute, 1994), 58. Luker notes that many are also discouraged at school or already dropouts and that motherhood does not diminish such a young woman's standard of living: they are poor when they have children, and they stay poor (Luker, Dubious Conceptions, 106-8). Sociologist Arline Geronimus had argued that for some young women early childbearing is a rational choice, the best of several not-so-great options. A girl can stay in school and take advantage of school-based day care; families more readily help young mothers with babysitting and financial support than older ones; and, when Junior heads off to kindergarten, a younger mom has plenty of years to recover missed opportunities. Besides, for the young women "at risk," babies add love, meaning, and structure to otherwise fairly stripped-down lives. Arline T. Geronimus and Sanders Korenman, "The Socioeconomic Consequences of Teen Childbearing Reconsidered," Quarterly Journal of Economics (November 1992): 1187-214. Teenage men, especially those who are alienated from school and pessimistic about their work prospects, feel just as affirmed by fatherhood as their girlfriends do by motherhood. William Marsigho and Constance L. Shehan, "Adolescent Males' Abortion Attitudes: Data from a National Survey," Family Planning Perspectives 25 (July/August 1993): 163. 21. This number represented about 50 percent of the fifteen- to nineteen-year-olds, the same percentage who are now sexually active. Alan Guttmacher Institute, Eleven Million Teenagers: What Can Be Done about the Epidemic of Adolescent Pregnancies in the United States (New York: Planned Parenthood Federation on America, 1976), 9-11. 22. Nathanson, Dangerous Passages, 60. 23. Luker, Dubious Conceptions, 8. 24. For surgeon general, Reagan nominated Everett Koop, who had appeared in an anti-abortion propaganda video standing in a field of dead fetuses. But Koop turned out not to be the antichoice puppet the Right to Life had hoped for. Keeping his views on abortion to himself, he became a tireless crusader for frank AIDS education. Richard Schweiker, also staunchly antichoice and not too hot for a federal role in education or welfare either, was appointed secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare. To run that department's three-year-old Office of Adolescent Pregnancy Programs, the administration recruited Marjory Mecklenberg, a Minnesota Right to Life activist widely regarded as an unqualified hard-liner for "family values" and against nonmarital sex, which seemed to be a prerequisite for top positions in that office. It would later be occupied by Jo Ann Gasper, whose column in Conservative Digest attacked "homosexuals and other perverts" and "antifamily forces"; by Nabers Cabaniss, a favorite of far-right senators Denton, Jesse Helms, and Henry Hyde who at thirty boasted that she was the oldest virgin in Washington, D.C.; and by Cabaniss's erstwhile boyfriend William Reynolds "Ren" Archer III, who as a bachelor confided to a reporter that he had had sex once but didn't much like it. 25. "Block-granting" Title X into the Maternal and Child Health Bureau had been proposed during the Nixon administration too but failed. 26. African American communities had always kept such babies close to home. And by 1981, as birth mothers began to come forward and express the pain and coercion of their decisions and adopted children started looking for those birth mothers, white girls were also thinking twice about relinquishing maternal rights. Ricki Solinger, Wake Up Little Susie (New York: Routledge, 1992). 27. Kendrick v. Bowen (Civil A. No. 83-3175), "Federal Supplement," 1548. Patricia Donovan, "The Adolescent Family Life Act and the Promotion of Religious Doctrine," Family Planning Perspectives 4, no. 4 (September/October 1984): 222. 28. The anti-ERA Illinois Committee on the Status of Women received grants of over $600,000 to develop and evaluate the workbook Sex Respect (ACLU "Kendrick I," List of Grantees), authored by former Catholic schoolteacher and anti-abortion activist Colleen Kelly Mast, and another $350,000 for Facing Reality, the workbook of its companion curriculum (Teaching Fear: The Religious Right's Campaign against Sexuality Education [Washington, D.C.: People for the American Way, June 1994], 10). Sex Respect was denounced for its inaccuracies and omissions, ridiculed for its sloganeering ("Pet Your Dog, Not Your Date"), and scorned for its antisexual moralism ("There's no way to have premarital sex without hurting someone"). Yet in 1988 the U.S. Department of Education put the curriculum on its list of recommended AIDS education videos, replacing one by the Red Cross. The next year, after former committee vice-president, then state representative Penny Pullen sponsored legislation requiring abstinence education in Illinois public schools, Sex Respect was awarded state contracts worth more than $700,000 (Teaching Fear, 10). 29. This figure has also been cited for the number of school districts employing any abstinence-only curriculum. "States Slow to Take U.S. Aid to Teach Sexual Abstinence," New York Times, May 8, 1997, 22. 30. During that time, the average grant for other organizations the size of Teen-Aid or Respect Inc. was less than half of Teen-Aid's and less than a third of Respect's. Department of Health and Human Services, Public Health Service, "Adolescent Family Life Demonstration Grants Amounts Awarded 1982-1996," Office of Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention document, Washington, D.C., 1996. Teen-Aid did not use the free startup money to reduce its prices to future customers. In Duval County, Florida, one of the people who sued in the mid-1990s to stop the schools from teaching Teen-Aid's "Me, My World, My Future" because of its inaccuracies and its biases against abortion, women and girls, gays, and "any kind of family that isn't mommy, daddy, and children" said, "The new curriculum [is] going to save the school system huge amounts of money. [With Teen-Aid], we had to buy $100,000 worth of supplies a year." "In Duval County, Florida: Reflecting on a Legal Battle for Comprehensive Sexuality Education," SIECUS Reports 24, no. 6, (August/September 1996), 5. 31. Teaching Fear, 11. 32. The statistics available at the time from the institute were that about 780,000, or 39 percent, of 2 million then-fourteen-year-old girls would have at least one pregnancy in their teen years; 420,000 would give birth; 300,000 would have abortions. 33. U.S. Senate, Jeremiah Denton, Adolescent Family Life, S. Rept. 97-161, July 8, 1981, 2; emphasis added. 34. "To Attack the Problems of Adolescent Sexuality," New York Times, June 15, 1981, A22. 35. "To Attack the Problems of Adolescent Sexuality." 36. A few years earlier, the Family Protection Act (H.R. 7955), a blueprint of the Right's agenda to come and also cosponsored by Hatch, proposed defunding all state protections of children and women independent of their fathers and husbands, including child-abuse and domestic-abuse programs. It did not pass. 37. Bernard Weinraub, "Reagan Aide Backs Birth-Aid Education," New York Times, June 24, 1981, C12. 38. A SIECUS-Advocates for Children Survey in 1999 found that 70 percent opposed the federal abstinence-only standards and thought they were unrealistic in light of kids' actual sexual behavior. SIECUS, SHOP Talk Bulletin 4 (June 11, 1999). 39. "State Sexuality and HIV/STD Education Regulations," National Abortion Rights Action League fact sheet, February 1997. 40. "Sex Education That Teaches Abstinence "Wins Support," Associated Press, New York Times, July 23, 1997. 41. "Between the Lines: States' Implementation of the Federal Government's Section 510(b) Abstinence Education Program in Fiscal Year 1998," SIECUS report, Washington, D.C., 1999. 42. Six in ten believe that sexual intercourse in the teen years was always wrong, and nine out of ten wanted their kids to be taught about abstinence at school. Yet eight in ten also wanted them to learn about contraception and preventing sexually transmitted diseases. SIECUS, SHOP Talk Bulletin 4 (June 11, 1999). 43. "Adolescent Sexual Health in Europe & the U.S.—Why the Difference?" 2d ed., Advocates for Youth report, Washington, D.C., 2000. 44. Douglas Kirby, "No Easy Answers: Research Findings on Programs to Reduce Teen Pregnancy," National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy report, Washington, D.C., 1997. 45. Marl W. Roosa and F. Scott Christopher, "An Evaluation of an Abstinence-Only Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Program: Is 'Just Say No' Enough?" Family Relations 39 (January 1990): 68-72. 46. John B. Jemmott III, Loretta Sweet Jemmott, and Geoffrey T. Fong, "Abstinence and Safer Sex: HIV Risk-Reduction Interventions for African American Adolescents," Journal of the American Medical Association 279, no. 19 (May 20, 1998): 1529-36. 47. Ralph J. DiClemente, Editorial: "Preventing Sexually Transmitted Infections among Adolescents," Journal of the American Medical Association 279, no. 19 (May 20, 1998). 48. National Institutes of Health Consensus Development Conference Statement, Interventions to Prevent HIV Risk Behaviors, February 11-13, 1997 (Bethesda, Md.: NIH), 15. 49. Ron Haskins and Carol Statuto Bevan, "Implementing the Abstinence Education Provision of the Welfare Reform Legislation," U.S. House of Representatives memo, November 8, 1996, 1. 50. Haskins and Bevan, "Implementing the Abstinence Education Provision," 8-9. 51. "Changes in Sexuality Education from 1988-1999." 52. Victor Strasburger, Getting Your Kids to Say "No" in the '90s When You Said "Yes" in the '60s (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1993), 87-88. 53. Sol Gordon and Judith Gordon, Raising a Child Conservatively in a Sexually Permissive World (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1989), 101. 54. Peter C. Scales and Martha R. Roper, "Challenges to Sexuality Education in the Schools," in The Sexuality Education Challenge: Promoting Healthy Sexuality in Young People, ed. Judy C. Drolet and Kay Clark (Santa Cruz, Calif.: ETR Associates, 1994), 79. 55. Colleen Kelly Mast, Sex Respect: Parent-Teacher Guide (Bradley, 111.: Respect Inc., n.d.), 45. 56. Other educators have pointed out the implicit inaccuracy of the impression these slides leave: unfortunately, one of the most common STDs, chlamydia, is asymptomatic. 57. Teaching Fear, 8. 58. Medical Institute for Sexual Health, National Guidelines for Sexuality and Character Education (Austin, Tex.: Medical Institute for Sexual Health, 1996), 82. 59. Saint Augustine, Confessions

(Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1991), 24-25. 60. Medical Institute for Sexual Health, "National Guidelines," 89. 61. "HIV: You Can Live without It!" (Spokane, Wash.: Teen-Aid, Inc., 1998), 33. 62. Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1986), 24. 63. Scales and Roper, "Challenges to Sexuality Education," 70. 64. Irving R. Dickman, Winning the Battle for Sex Education, pamphlet (New York: SIECUS, 1982); Debra Haffner and Diane de Mauro, Winning the Battle: Developing Support for Sexuality and HIV/AIDS Education, pamphlet (New York: SIECUS, 1991); Teaching Fear. 65. The ad ran in the New York Times, April 22, 1997, the Los Angeles Times, April 28, 1997, as well as the West Coast editions of Time, Newsweek, and People during that month. 66. "Trends in Sexual Risk Behaviors among High School Students—U.S. 1991-97," Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 47 (September 18, 1998): 749-52. Teens may be doing better than adults. "Most Adults in the United States Who Have Multiple Sexual Partners Do Not Use Condoms Consistently," Family Planning Perspectives 26 (January/February 1994): 42-43. 67. Susheela Singh and Jacqueline E. Darroch, "Adolescent Pregnancy and Childbearing: Levels and Trends in the Developed Countries," Family Planning Perspectives 32 (2000): 14-23. The government recorded the lowest number of teen pregnancies in 1997: 94.3 per thousand women ages fifteen to nineteen, a drop of 19 percent since 1991. Most of those pregnancies are among eighteen- and nineteen-year-old women. In 1999, the U.S. teen birth rate hit its lowest level since recording began in 1940. Of every thousand teenage women, 4.96 gave birth. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention National Center for Health Statistics, National Vital Statistics Report 4, no. 4 (2001). 68. About three-quarters of girls use a method the first time; as many as two-thirds of teens say they use condoms regularly—three times the rate in 1970. Long-acting birth control injections and implants have also gained popularity among teens. "Why Is Teenage Pregnancy Declining? The Roles of Abstinence, Sexual Activity and Contraceptive Use," Alan Guttmacher Institute Occasional Report, 1999. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy asked teens themselves the main reason they thought teen pregnancies had dropped in the last decade. Of 1,002 youths surveyed, 37.9 percent named worry about AIDS and other STDs; 24 percent credited a greater availability of birth control; and 14.9 percent said the decline was due to more attention to the issue. Only 5.2 percent named "changing morals and values," and 3.7 percent said, "Fewer teens have sex." With One Voice: American Adults and Teens Sound Off about Teen Pregnancy (Washington, D.C.: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2001). 69. Singh and Darroch, "Adolescent Pregnancy and Childbearing." 70. "Teen Pregnancy 'Virtually Eliminated' in the Netherlands," Reuters Health/London news story (accessed through Medscape), March 2, 2001. 71. "United States and the Russian Federation Lead the Developed World in Teenage Pregnancy Rates," Alan Guttmacher Institute press release, February 24, 2000. 72. J. Mauldon and K. Luker, "The Effects of Contraceptive Education on Method Use at First Intercourse," Family Planning Perspectives (January/February 1996): 19. 73. J. C. Abma et al., "Fertility, Family Planning, and Women's Health: New Data from the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth," Vital Health Statistics 23, no. 19 (1997). 74. Peggy Brick et al., The New Positive Images: Teaching Abstinence, Contraception and Sexual Health (Hackensack, N.J.: Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, 1996), 31. 75. Peter Bearman, paper presented at Planned Parenthood New York City's conference Adolescent Sexual Health: New Data and Implications for Services and Programs, October 26, 1998; Diana Jean Schemo, "Virginity Pledges by Teenagers Can Be Highly Effective, Federal Study Finds," New York Times, January 4, 2001. 76. Lantier, "Do Abstinence Lessons Lessen Sex?" 77. "Trends in Sexual Risk Behaviors among High School Students—United States 1991-1997," Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Reports 47 (September 18, 1998): 749-52. 78. Abma et al., "Fertility, Family Planning, and Women's Health." 79. It is important to point out that, in spite of these declines, nearly two-thirds of teen births resulted from unintended pregnancies. Abma et al., "Fertility, Family Planning, and Women's Health." 80. "Adolescent Sexual Health in the U.S. and Europe—Why the Difference?" Advocates for Youth fact sheet, Washington, D.C., 2000. 81. Schemo, "Virginity Pledges by Teenagers." 82. It is impossible to find a forthright statement that abstinence-plus education meaningfully delays teen sexual intercourse. Its evaluators have been able to find out only that, for instance, if you want to delay intercourse, you should start classes before kids start "experimenting with sexual behaviors." And all studies show that sex ed does not encourage earlier intercourse. J. J. Frost and J. D. Forrest, "Understanding the Impact of Effective Teenage Pregnancy Prevention Programs," Family Planning Perspectives 27 (1995): 188-96; D. Kirby et al., "School Based Programs to Reduce Sexual Risk Behaviors: A Review of Effectiveness," Public Health Reports 190 (1997): 339-60; A. Grunseit and S. Kippax, Effects of Sex Education on Young People's Sexual Behavior (Geneva: World Health Organization, 1993). 83. S. Zabin and M. B. Hirsch, Evaluation of Pregnancy Prevention Programs in the School Context (Lexington, Mass.: D.C. Heath/Lexington Books, 1988); Institute of Medicine, The Best Intentions: Unintended Pregnancy and Well-Being of Children and Families (Washington, D.C.: National Academy Press, 1995). 6. Compulsory Motherhood 1. This law, the first gate to open in the gradual spilling away of federally protected abortion rights, was reauthorized in every subsequent Congress; its constitutionality was upheld three times. In 1993, after a long battle, it was "liberalized" to add exceptions for rape and incest. But while the government paid for a third of abortions from 1973 to 1977, it now pays for almost none. Marlene Gerber Fried, "Abortion in the U.S.: Barriers to Access," Reproductive Health Matters 9 (May 1997): 37-45. 2. Ellen Frankfort and Frances Kissling, Rosie: Investigation of a Wrongful Death (New York: Dial Press, 1979). 3. "Who Decides? A State-by-State Review of Abortion and Reproductive Rights," 10th ed., National Abortion Rights Action League report, Washington, D.C, 2001. 4. By the 1990s, more than 80 percent of clinics were regularly picketed by anti-abortion activists. Ann Cronin, "Abortion: The Rate vs. the Debate," New York Times, February 25, 1997, "Week in Review," 4. 5. The agency reported at least fifteen bombings and arson attacks at clinics each year from 1993 through 1995, seven in 1996, and one in Atlanta in 1997 that injured six people. Rick Bragg, "Abortion Clinic Hit by 2 Bombs; Six Are Injured," New York Times, January 17, 1997. 6. Jim Yardley and David Rohde, "Abortion Doctor in Buffalo Slain; Sniper Attack Fits Violent Pattern," New York Times, October 25, 1998, A1. 7. Alan Guttmacher Institute, "Into a New World: Young Women's Sexual and Reproductive Lives," Executive Summary (New York: the institute, 1988). 8. Women ages eighteen to twenty-four are about twice as likely to have abortions as women in the general population. Stanley K. Henshaw and Kathryn Kost, "Abortion Patients in 1994-1995: Characteristics and Contraceptive Use," Family Planning Perspectives 28 (1996): 140-47, 158. 9. Robert Pear, "Provision on Youth Health Insurance Would Sharply Limit Access to Abortion," New York Times, July 3, 1997. 10. About twenty-six million have legal abortions yearly, and an estimated twenty million have illegal ones, ending about half of all unplanned pregnancies. Alan Guttmacher Institute News, January 21, 1999. 11. Estimated rates ran from one in ten to almost one in two, and among Kinsey's unmarried informants, 90 percent of those who got pregnant procured abortions. Lawrence Lader, Abortion (New York: Bobbs-Merrill, 1966), 64-74; Kristin Luker, Abortion and the Politics of Motherhood (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1984), 48-49; Brett Harvey, The Fifties: A Women's Oral History (New York: Harper Collins, 1993), 24. 12. "Abortion Common among All Women Even Those Thought to Oppose Abortion," Alan Guttmacher Institute press release, 1996. 13. Cronin, "Abortion: The Rate vs. the Debate." 14. In a New York Times-CBS poll in 1998, half of respondents thought abortion was too easy to get; as compared with 1989, fewer people felt that an interrupted career or education was an acceptable reason to get an abortion; and only 15 percent believed abortion was acceptable in the second trimester. "[P]ublic opinion has shifted notably away from general acceptance of legal abortion and toward an evolving center of gravity: a more nuanced, conditional acceptance that some call a 'permit but discourage' model." Carey Goldberg with Janet Elder, "Public Still Backs Abortion, but Wants Limits, Poll Says," New York Times, January 16, 1998, A1. 15. Jennifer Baumgartner, "The Pro-Choice PR Problem," Nation (March 5, 2001): 19-23. 16. Naomi Wolf, "Our Bodies, Our Souls: Rethinking Pro-Choice Rhetoric," New Republic (October 16, 1995): 26-27. 17. Janet Hadley, "The 'Awfulisation' of Abortion," paper presented to the Abortion Matters conference, Amsterdam, March 1996. 18. "Abortion Common . . . ," Guttmacher Institute. 19. Nation columnist Katha Pollitt is one of the few who has defended the morality of abortion. 20. See, for example, Vincent M. Rue, "The Psychological Realities of Induced Abortion," in Post-Abortion Aftermath: A Comprehensive Consideration, ed. Michael T. Mannion (Franklin, Wis.: Sheed and Ward, 1994). The antichoice group Operation Rescue has widely distributed Focus on the Family's pamphlet Identifying and Overcoming Post-Abortion Syndrome, by Teri K. and Paul C. Reisser (Colorado Springs: Focus on the Family, revised 1994). 21. "Abortion Study Finds No Long-Term Ill Effects on Emotional Well-Being," Family Planning Perspectives 29 (July/August 1997): 193; Jane E. Brody, "Study Disputes Abortion Trauma," New York Times, February 12, 1997, C8. 22. "Researchers Document Flaw in Research Linking Abortion and Breast Cancer," Reproductive Freedom News 20 (December 20, 1996), quoting Journal of the National Cancer Institute (December 4, 1996). 23. Rebecca Stone and Cynthia Waszak, "Adolescent Knowledge and Attitudes about Abortion," Family Planning Perspectives 24 (Narcg 1992): 53. 24. Stone and Waszak, "Adolescent Knowledge and Attitudes." 25. Connecticut, Michigan, and Rhode Island, to name three, forbade discussion of abortion as a reproductive health method; South Carolina allowed discussion of the procedure but only its negative consequences. "Sexuality Education in America: A State-by-State Review," National Abortion Rights Action League report, Washington, D.C., 1995. Under the federal abstinence-only regulations, of course, abortion may not be mentioned. 26. Sex Respect Student Workbook, 95. 27. On the tonsillectomy comparison, see "Safety of Abortion," National Abortion Rights Action League fact sheet, Washington, D.C., undated, received 1998; and Review of Fear-Based Programs, SIECUS Community Action Kit, 1994: 6. On the shot of penicillin comparison, see Margie Kelly, "Legalized Abortion: A Public Health Success Story," Reproductive Freedom News

(June 1999): 7. 28. Girls Incorporated, Taking Care of Business: A Sexuality Education Program for Young Teen Women Ages 15-18 (Indianapolis: Girls Inc., 1998), vol. 6, 1-6. 29. Sex Can Wait (Santa Cruz, Calif.: ETR Associates, 1998), 290. 30. Peggy Brick and Bill Taverner, The New Positive Images: Teaching Abstinence, Contraception and Sexual Health, 3d ed. (Morristown, N.J.: Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, 2001). 31. After reading the curricula used in public schools, I find it a relief and inspiration to peruse the Unitarian Universalist Church's Our Whole Lives. Its curricula both for seventh- to ninth-graders and for older high schoolers present thorough discussions of the values debate around abortion, as well as explicit descriptions of the procedures and clear statements of abortion's safety. The tenth- to twelfth-grade text titles the section on abortion "Reproductive Rights." Pamela M. Wilson, Our Whole Lives: Sexuality Education for Grades 7 to 9 (Boston: Unitarian Universalist Association/United Church Board for Homeland Ministries, 1999); Eva S. Goldfarb and Elizabeth M. Casparian, Our Whole Lives: Sexuality Education for Grades 10 to 12 (Boston: Unitarian Universalist Association/United Church Board for Homeland Ministries, 1999), 199-212. 32. Alan Guttmacher Institute, "Teenage Pregnancy and the Welfare Reform Debate," Issues in Brief (Washington, D.C.: the institute, 1995). 33. Hector Sanchez-Flores, speaking at the Adolescent Sexual Health: New Data and Implications for Services and Programs conference, sponsored by Planned Parenthood of New York City and other organizations, October 26, 1998. 34. On metropolitan areas, see Barbara Vobejda, "Study Finds Fewer Facilities Offering Abortions," Washington Post, December 11, 1998, A4. 35. The Defense Department also prohibited both federally and privately funded abortions at military facilities. Cronin, "Abortion: The Rate vs. the Debate." 36. National Abortion Rights Action League, 1998 statistics (accessed on www.naral.org), Washington, D.C. 37. Margaret C. Crosby and Abigail English, "Should Parental Consent to or Notification of an Adolescent's Abortion Be Required by Law? No"; and Everett L. Worthington, "Should Parental Consent . . . ? Yes"; both in Debating Children's Lives: Current Controversies on Children and Adolescents, ed. Mary Ann Mason and Eileen Gambrill (Thousand Oaks, Calif.: Sage Publications, 1994), 143 and 133, respectively. 38. Crosby and English, "Should Parental Consent . . . ? No," 143. 39. Court approval by "judicial bypass," the legal remedy to the discriminatory burden such regulations place on girls who can't talk to their families, may even discourage such conversations. Crosby and English, "Should Parental Consent . . . ? No." 40. "Induced Termination of Pregnancy before and after Roe v. Wade, Trends in the Mortality and Morbidity of Women," Journal of the American Medical Association 268, no. 22 (December 1993): 3238. 41. American Medical Association, Council on Ethical and Judicial Affairs, "Mandatory Parental Consent to Abortion," Journal of the American Medical Association 269, no. 1 (January 6, 1993): 83. 42. Lizette Alvarez, "GOP Bill to Back Parental Consent Abortion Laws," New York Times, May 21, 1998, A30. The datum that young women support parental involvement laws was gleaned from a nationwide study of teens and young adult women, but since this fact did not support the political aims of the group that conducted the study, the group's board of directors has chosen not to publicize it. 43. "Woman Is Sentenced for Aid in Abortion," New York Times, December 17, 1996. 44. "Debate Continues on Child Custody Protection Act," Reproductive Freedom News 7, no. 5 (June 1, 1998): 3-4; "Women's Stories: Becky Bell," National Abortion Rights Action League report, Washington, D.C., undated. 45. Alvarez, "GOP Bill." 46. The bill was reintroduced in 2001. At this writing, it has not been voted on. 47. Tamar Lewin, "Poll of Teenagers: Battle of the Sexes on Roles in Family," New York Times, July 11, 1994, A1. 48. Addressing this atavistic social problem, lawmakers in two dozen states have proposed granting money to women who dispose of unwanted infants, as long as the babies are still breathing and the mothers leave them in an authorized location, such as a hospital. Currently, many states prosecute mothers who abandon their newborns. Jacqueline L. Salmon, "For Unwanted Babies, a Safety Net," Washington Post, October 20, 2000. 7. The Expurgation of Pleasure 1. Peggy Brick, "Toward a Positive Approach to Adolescent Sexuality," SIECUS Report 17 (May-June 1989): 3. 2. Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education, 1. 3. Michelle Fine, "Sexuality, Schooling, and Adolescent Females: The Missing Discourse of Desire," Harvard Educational Review 58 (1988): 33. 4. Girls Incorporated, Will Power/Won't Power: A Sexuality Education Program for Girls Ages 12-14 (Indianapolis: Girls Inc., 1998), V-12. 5. Richard P. Barth, Reducing the Risk: Building Skills to Prevent Pregnancy, STD, and HIV, 3d ed. (Santa Cruz, Calif.: ETR Associates, 1996), 89. 6. Tim LaHaye and Beverly LaHaye, The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 1976), 289-90. 7. This was the definition given by the majority in Stephanie A. Sanders and June Machover Reinisch's "Would You Say You 'Had Sex' If . . . ?" Journal of the American Medical Association 281 (January 20, 1999): 275-77. See also Lisa Remez, "Oral Sex among Adolescents: Is It Sex or Is It Abstinence?" Alan Guttmacher Institute, Special Report 32, November-December 2000. 8. Mary M. Krueger, "Everyone Is an Exception: Assumptions to Avoid in the Sex Education Classroom," Family Life Educator (fall 1993). 9. Cindy Patton, Fatal Advice: How Safe-Sex Education Went Wrong (Durham, N.C.: Duke University Press, 1996), 34. 10. The National Survey of Adolescent Males Ages 15 to 19, conducted in 1995 and published in 2000, found that one in ten had experienced anal sex. Tamar Lewin, "Survey Shows Sex Practices of Boys," New York Times, December 19, 2000. In one San Francisco survey of seventeen- to nineteen-year-old men who have sex with men, 28 percent had had unprotected anal sex, the behavior carrying the highest risk for HIV transmission. U.S. Conference of Mayors, "Safer Sex Relapse: A Contemporary Challenge," AIDS Information Exchange 11, no. 4 (1994): 1-8. 11. On the masturbation datum, see Krueger, "Everyone Is an Exception." On the oral sex datum, see Susan Newcomer and J. Richard Udry, "Oral Sex in an Adolescent Population," Archives of Sexual Behavior 14 (1985): 41-46. In another survey, of more than two thousand Los Angeles high school "virgins" in 1996, about a third of both boys and girls had masturbated or been masturbated by a heterosexual partner; about a tenth had engaged in fellatio to ejaculation or cunnilingus, with boys and girls more or less equally on the receiving end. Homosexual behavior was rarely reported among these kids, but 1 percent reported heterosexual anal intercourse. Mark A. Schuster, Robert M. Bell, and David E. Kanouse, "The Sexual Practices of Adolescent Virgins: Genital Sexual Activities of High School Students Who Have Never Had Vaginal Intercourse," American Journal of Public Health 86 (1996): 1570-76. Remez ("Sex among Adolescents") provides a good review of the scant literature on noncoital adolescent sexual behavior. She also suggests that the incidence and prevalence of fellatio probably far outweigh cunnilingus among teens. Many teens who have had oral sex have not had vaginal intercourse. One of Remez's sources guesses that "for around 25 percent of the kids who have had any kind of intimate sexual activity, that activity is oral sex, not intercourse." 12. Tamar Lewin, "Teen-Agers Alter Sexual Practices, Thinking Risks Will Be Avoided," New York Times, April 5, 1997, 8. 13. "Research Critical to Protecting Young People from Disease Blocked by Congress," Advocates for Youth, press release, December 19, 2000. 14. See Thompson, Going All the Way; and, e.g., Deborah L. Tolman, "Daring to Desire: Culture and the Bodies of Adolescent Girls," in Sexual Cultures and the Construction of Adolescent Identities, ed. Irvine, 250-84. 15. Tamar Lewin, "Sexual Abuse Tied to 1 in 4 Girls in Teens," New York Times, October 1, 1997. 16. Lewin, "Sexual Abuse Tied to 1 in 4 Girls." 17. Nancy D. Kellogg, "Unwanted and Illegal Sexual Experiences in Childhood and Adolescence," Child Abuse and Neglect 19 (1995): 1457-68. 18. Not Just Another Thing to Do: Teens Talk about Sex, Regret, and the Influence of Their Parents (Washington, D.C.: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2000), 6-7. 19. "Many Teens Regret Having Sex," National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, press release, June 30, 2000. 8. The Facts 1. Adam Phillips, "The Interested Party," The Beast in the Nursery (New York: Vintage Books, 1999), 3-36. 2. Janet R. Kahn, "Speaking across Cultures within Your Own Family," in Sexual Cultures and the Construction of Adolescent Identities, ed. Irvine, 287. 3. Brent C. Miller, Family Matters: A Research Synthesis of Family Influences on Adolescent Pregnancy (Washington, D.C: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 1998), 6-12. 4. Diane Carman, in the Denver Post, March 2, 1999, posted on the Kaiser Family Foundation Web page. 5. Other good books were Changing Bodies, Changing Selves, for teens, by Ruth Bell and members of the Boston Women's Health Book Collective (New York: Vintage Books, 1988); Michael J. Basso, The Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality (Minneapolis: Fairview Press, 1997); and for younger readers, It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health, by Robie H. Harris with illustrations by Michael Emberley (Cambridge, Mass.: Candlewick Press, 1994). 6. Go Ask Alice! Columbia University's Health Question & Answer Internet Service, at www.goaskalice.columbia.edu. 7. www.positive.org/JustSayYes. 8. A search for this URL in June 2001 yielded an "Object Not Found" message. However, sites for gay teens are proliferating. 9. Sex, Etc. can be accessed on the Internet at www.sxetc.org. 10. David Shpritz, "One Teenager's Search for Sexual Health on the Net," Journal of Sex Education and Therapy 22 (1998): 57. 11. Economics and Statistics Administration and National Telecommunications and Information Administration, "Falling through the Net: Toward Digital Inclusion," U.S. Department of Commerce report, Washington, D.C., October 2000, 2-12. 12. See chapter 1 for more discussion of legislated and voluntary Internet filtering. 13. Phillips, "The Interested Party," 14. 14. Stephen Holden, "Hollywood, Sex, and a Sad Estrangement," New York Times, May 3, 1998, "Arts & Leisure," 20. 15. Francesca Lia Block, Weetzie Bat

, in Dangerous Angels (New York: HarperCollins, 1998), 29. 16. This insight, of course, must be attributed to the great art critic Leo Steinberg. 17. Journalist Debbie Nathan, ever-vigilant watchdog of cultural absurdity, reminds me that the soundtrack of the 1996 movie William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was on the stereo when police arrived at the home of Kip Kinkel to find the dead bodies of his parents. The Springfield, Oregon, boy had just been arrested for the shooting deaths of two of his high school classmates and the wounding of twenty-five others. He is serving a life sentence for murder. 18. William Butler Yeats, "Brown Penny," in Selected Poems and Two Plays of William Butler Yeats, ed. M. L. Rosenthal (New York: Macmillan, 1962), 37. 9. What Is Wanting? 1. See, e.g., Barrie Thorne, Gender Play: Girls and Boys in School (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1997); and R. W. Connell, Masculinities: Knowledge, Power, and Social Change (Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1995). 2. See Michael Reichert, "On Behalf of Boys," Independent School Magazine (spring 1997). 3. Males, Scapegoat Generation, 46. About 15 percent of tenth-grade students in a longitudinal survey reported fewer experiences of sexual intercourse than they'd claimed in the ninth grade, and of all the kids questioned over the years, two-thirds reported the age at first intercourse "inconsistently." Cheryl S. Alexander et al., "Consistency of Adolescents' Self-Report of Sexual Behavior in a Longitudinal Study," Journal of Youth and Adolescence 22 (1993): 455-71. 4. Susan Newcomer and J. Richard Udry, "Adolescents' Honesty in a Survey of Sexual Behavior," Journal of Adolescent Research 1, no. 3/4 (1988): 419-23. 5. "Fact Sheet: Dating Violence among Adolescents," Advocates for Youth (accessed at www.advocatesforyouth.org), Washington, D.C., n.d. 6. In Our Guys, Bernard Lefkowitz cites another relevant study: "When the psychologist Chris O'Sullivan studied 24 documented cases of alleged gang rape on college campuses from 1981 to 1991, she found that it was the elite group at the colleges that were more likely to be involved. These included football and basketball players and members of prestigious fraternities." Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys (New York: Vintage Books, 1998), 278-79. 7. A critique of quantitative desire disorders has been mounted by sociologist Janice Irvine, journalist Carol Tavris, sexologist Leonore Tiefer, and some others. Tiefer's sociopolitical perspective is rare in her discipline. 8. Social Security Act, Title V, Section 510 (1997), Maternal and Child Health Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. 9. William A. Fisher and Deborah M. Roffman, "Adolescence: A Risky Time," Independent School 51 (spring 1992): 26. 10. Deborah Tolman, "Daring to Desire," in Sexual Cultures and the Construction of Adolescent Identities, ed. Irvine, 255. 11. Jack Morin, The Erotic Mind (New York: Harper Collins, 1995), 83-85. 12. Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (New York: Ballantine Books, 1994), 208. 13. Pipher, Reviving Ophelia, 205-13. These pages contain Lizzie's account, as described here and in the following paragraph. 14. Tolman, "Daring to Desire," 251. 15. This difficulty of putting emotions into words—what one writer called "alyxrythmia"—has been all but naturalized as a masculine trait. (A good example of interpreting everything as biological, even when the description is clearly social, is "Boys Will Be Boys," Newsweek's cover story of May 11, 1998.) But there's plenty of evidence it is completely socialized. Janet R. Kahn interviewed 326 families in 1976 and again in 1983 and found that, across class and race, parents talked less often to their boys about fewer topics related to sexuality and relationships and that fathers talked with their kids far less than mothers. The situation was so serious for boys that she called it "conversational neglect." Kahn, "Speaking across Cultures within Your Own Family." 16. William Pollack, Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood (New York: Random House, 1998), 150-51. 17. Pollack, Real Boys, 151. 18. Susan E. Hickman and Charleen L. Muehlenhard, "By the Semi-Mystical Appearance of a Condom: How Young Women and Men Communicate Sexual Consent," paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex, Houston, Texas, November 1996. 19. Alwyn Cohall, speaking at a Planned Parenthood of New York conference, Adolescent Sexual Health: New Data and Implications for Services and Programs, October, 26, 1998. 20. Kaiser Family Foundation, "National Survey of Teens on Dating, Intimacy, and Sexual Experiences," reported by SIECUS, SHOP Talk Bulletin 2 (April 17, 1998). 10. Good Touch 1. Ashley Montagu, Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin, 3d ed. (New York: Harper and Row/Perennial, 1986), 33. 2. Stephen J. Suomi, "The Role of Touch in Rhesus Monkey Social Development," in Catherine Caldwell Brown, ed., The Many Facets of Touch (n.p.: Johnson & Johnson Baby Products, 1996), 41-50. 3. Montagu, Touching, 97-99. 4. Madtrulika Gupta et al., "Perceived Touch Deprivation and Body Image: Some Observations among Eating Disordered and Non-Clinical Subjects," Journal of Psychosomatic Research 39 (May 1995): 459-64. 5. The French children were touched more. Author interview, 1999. 6. James W. Prescott, "Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence," Futurist (April 1975): 66. 7. Clellan S. Ford and Frank A. Beach, Patterns of Sexual Behavior (New York: Harper/Colophon Books, 1951), 180. 8. Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy, and Clyde E. Martin, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders, 1948), 177. Kinsey also notes observations of infant girls in "masturbatory activity" to what he called orgasm. Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy, Clyde E. Martin, and Paul H. Gebhard, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders, 1953), 141-42. 9. Robin J. Lewis and Louis H. Janda, "The Relationship between Adult Sexual Adjustment and Childhood Experiences Regarding Exposure to Nudity, Sleeping in the Parental Bed, and Parental Attitudes toward Sexuality," Archives of Sexual Behavior 17, no. 4 (1988): 349-62; Paul Okami, "Childhood Exposure to Parental Nudity, Parent-Child Co-Sleeping, and 'Primal Scenes': A Review of Clinical Opinion and Empirical Evidence," Journal of Sex Research 32, no. 1 (1995): 51-64. 10. Tamar Lewin, "Breast-Feeding: How Old Is Too Old?" New York Times, February 18, 2001, "Week in Review." 11. Lewin, "Breast-Feeding." 12. Richard Johnson, unpublished manuscript, March 1998. 13. This has been reported to me by many sex educators, including the veteran Peggy Brick, of Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey. 14. Joseph Tobin, ed., Making a Place for Pleasure in Early Childhood Education (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1997). 15. "It is unclear whether prevention programs are working or even that they are more beneficial than harmful," concluded N. Dickson Reppucci and Jeffrey J. Haugaard. See their "Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse: Myth or Reality," American Psychologist 44 (October 1989): 1266. 16. One study measured a 50 percent rise in fear levels among children who had been subjected to a prevention program that made use of comic-book characters. J. Garbarino, "Children's Response to a Sexual Abuse Prevention Program: A Study of the Spiderman Comic," Child Abuse and Neglect: The International Journal 11 (1987): 143-48. 17. Bonnie Trudell and M. Whatley, "School Sexual Abuse Prevention: Unintended Consequences and Dilemmas," Child Abuse and Neglect 12 (1988): 108. 18. Thomas W. Laqueur, "The Social Evil, the Solitary Vice, and Pouring Tea," in Solitary Pleasures, ed. Bennett and Rosario, 157. 19. Alice Balint, The Psychoanalysis of the Nursery (New York: Routledge and Kegan Paul, 1953), 79. 20. Benjamin Spock, Baby and Child Care, rev. ed. (New York: Pocket Books, 1976), 411. 21. John H. Gagnon, "Attitudes and Responses of Parents to Pre-Adolescent Masturbation," Archives of Sexual Behavior 14 (1985): 451. 22. Congressional Record, 103d Congress, 2d session, 1994, vol. 140, H 9995-10001. 23. Joycelyn Elders, "The Dreaded 'M' Word," in nerve: Literate Smut, ed. Genevieve Field and Rufus Griscom (New York: Broadway Books, 1998), 130. 24. William N. Friedrich and Patricia Grambsch, "Child Sexual Behavior Inventory: Normative and Clinical Comparison," Psychological Assessment 4 (1992): 303-11. 25. Friedrich and Grambsch, "Child Sexual Behavior Inventory." 26. Robin L. Leavitt and Martha Bauman Power, "Civilizing Bodies: Children in Day Care," in Making a Place for Pleasure in Early Childhood Education, ed. Tobin, 39-75. 27. Leavitt and Power, "Civilizing Bodies," 45-46. 28. Peggy Brick, Sue Montford, and Nancy Blume, Healthy Foundations: The Teacher's Book (Hackensack, N.J.: Center for Family Life Education/Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey, 1993), 2-7. 29. Larry L. Constantine and Floyd M. Martinson, eds., Children and Sex: New Findings, New Perspectives (Boston: Little, Brown, 1981), 30. 30. Nancy Blackman, "Pleasure and Touching: Their Significance in the Development of the Preschool Child," paper delivered at the International Symposium on Childhood and Sexuality, Montreal, September 1979. 31. Outercourse was named, but not invented, in the 1970s. Even before the eighteenth century, when travel was slow and distances long, there was "bundling." "The practice allowed a [courting] couple to spend a night together in bed as long as they remained fully clothed or, in some cases, kept a 'bundling board' between them. . . . Parents and youth shared the expectation that sexual intercourse would not take place, but if it did, and pregnancy resulted, the couple would certainly marry." John D'Emilio and Estelle B. Freedman, Intimate Matters: A History of Sexuality in America (New York: Harper and Row, 1988), 22. 32. Marty Klein and Riki Robbins, Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex without Intercourse (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam, 1998), 125. 33. Leonore Tiefer, "Bring Back the Kids' Stuff," in Sex Is Not a Natural Act, 71. Note from a detractor who read this chapter: "This strikes me as a crock, remembering instances of petting with strangers. ..." 34. Tiefer, "Bring Back the Kids' Stuff," 70. 35. Advocates for Youth, "Adolescent Sexual Health in Europe and the U.S." (2001). 36. Klein and Robbins, Let Me Count the Ways.