William Shakespeare’s

The Empire Striketh Back

by Ian Doescher

FOR MURRAY BIGGS:

THE YODA TO MY LUKE

FOR JOSH HICKS:

SOUNDING BOARD AND JEDI KNIGHT

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

CHORUS

LUKE SKYWALKER, a Jedi trainee

GHOST OF OBI-WAN KENOBI, a Jedi Knight

YODA, a Jedi Master

PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA, of Alderaan

HAN SOLO, a rebel captain

CHEWBACCA, his Wookiee and first mate

C-3PO, a droid

R2-D2, his companion

LANDO OF CALRISSIAN, a scoundrel

LOBOT, his man-at-arms

GENERAL RIEEKAN, of the Rebellion

WEDGE ANTILLES, a rebel pilot

DACK, DERLIN, HOBBIE, JANSON, and ZEV, soldiers of the Rebellion

EMPEROR PALPATINE, ruler of the Empire

DARTH VADER, a Sith Lord

PIETT, OZZEL, VEERS, and NEEDA, gentlemen of the Empire

BOBA FETT, a bounty hunter

WAMPA ICE CREATURE, of Hoth

EXOGORTH, of the asteroid field

UGNAUGHTS, merry dwarves of Bespin

REBEL PILOTS, LIEUTENANTS, CONTROLLERS, AIDES, DROIDS, BOUNTY HUNTERS, AT-ATS, IMPERIAL TROOPS, OFFICERS, GUARDS, and SOLDIERS

Prologue.

Outer space.

Enter CHORUS.

CHORUS

O, ’tis for the Rebellion a dark time.For though they have the Death Star all destroy’d,Imperi’l troops did from the ashes climbAnd push the rebels closer to the void.Across the galaxy pursu’d with speed,The rebels flee th’Imperi’l Starfleet vast.A group with Luke Skywalker in the leadHath to the ice world known as Hoth flown fast.Meanwhile, the cruel Darth Vader is obsess’dWith finding young Skywalker. Thus he hathThrough ev’ry point of space begun his questBy sending robot probes to aid his wrath.In time so long ago begins our play,In war-torn galaxy far, far away.

[Exit.

Act I

Scene 1.

The ice world of Hoth.

EnterLUKE SKYWALKER.

LUKE

If flurries be the food of quests, snow on.Belike upon this Hoth, this barren rock,My next adventure waits. ’Tis time shall tell.And yet, is it adventure that I seek?Shall danger, fear, and action fill my days?Shall all my life be spent in keen pursuitOf great adventure and her fickle fame?It seemeth I have had enough of lifeTo fill a thousand normal human lives—A princess in a vision spake to me,My aunt and uncle by stormtroopers slain,A hasty flight from my home, Tatooine,

A pilot and a Wookiee and a Knight,A rescue brave within our cruel foe’s grasp,My teacher kill’d, and then the final scene:The Death Star battle—many friends were lost,But in the end a greater war was won.Adventure hath both taken from my life,And given to me ev’rything I have.And thus I seek and shun its tempting ways.E’en now adventure knocks upon the door:A flaming orb hath struck the ground nearby.Is it a portent of some ill to come?[Into comlink:] ’Tis Echo-Three to Echo-Seven: Han,My true companion e’er, canst thou hear me?

HAN

[through comlink:] Aye, truly, chuck, thy voice rings loud and clear.What can I do for thee, my noble friend?

LUKE